How come the Hulk doesn’t lose his pants when he transforms?
The scientific experiments altered his jeans
It is amazing how a considerable ammount of people think chocolate milk comes from brown cows...
But I am still looking for the pink cows!
How come you never see hippos hiding in trees
Because they’re really good at it
How come Trump doesn’t wear a mask?
He thinks he has diplomatic immunity.
I called my friend to tell him about my big promotion and how it comes with a lot of new responsibilities now that I'm running the business. He asked what my new job was and how I was holding up.
I told him "I'm generally managing"
I've heard so much about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one talks about…
How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?
Because noble gases don't cause reaction
My son asked me, "How come there is a Father's Day, but not a Son Day?"
I replied, "Hey, there is a Son Day every week!"
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, "My door is always open".
How did the French come up with the word for egg?
Someone accidentally dropped one!
How do you make your wishes come true?
How did the Canadian’s come up with the name “Canada”?
There was a bunch of Canadians sitting around the table and one guy suggested they start naming letters their country name should contain.
One person said “C, eh?”
A second person said “N, eh?”
A third person said “D, eh?”
There was a herd of cows on this big hill. A big gust of wind came by and blew all the smaller cows away. Puzzled, the rancher went up to one of the bulls that were still standing and asks,"How come you bulls are still standing?" The bull replies...
"Cuz we bulls wobble but we don't fall down."
How do we call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?
My friend asked me how I come up with so many erectile dysfunction jokes.
How come 11 ants couldn’t park their cars at their ant hill?
Because parking is for ten ants only!
A cowboy comes to his boss his ranch and says 'thats all 50 cows boss'. The boss answers 'how did you get 50? I only got 48!'
The cowboy answers 'I know, I rounded them up.'
Today I was wearing a shirt with the family crest of my favorite painter Frida Kahlo. After a few hours I started to get hungry and ordered takeout. When my delivery person arrived he handed over my food without taking any money for bringing it to me. I asked him “How come there’s no charge?”
He replied: I was going to charge you, but I noticed you had Frida Livery”
How come it used to cost a quarter to pump your tires at the gas station, and now it costs a dollar?
How does spider man always come up with such clever comebacks?
Because with great power, comes great response ability.
Advisors: Mr president you can't just buy Greenland.!! That's ridiculous! Trump: but then how come
All off your cakes are 50p how come this one is a £1?
How come Michael Jackson sings so high?
How come the stadium got so hot?
My wife's best friend asked me, "How come you never buy her flowers ?"
I didn't even know she was selling flowers !
How come cell phones don’t wear glasses?
Because they have contacts.
How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?
So I was asking my brother how come he only uses his superpowers on my daughters
He said it’s because he only has telekinesis not telekinephews
Girlfriend asked how I cut my chin as I walked out of the bathroom this morning. Come on.. what is the simplest explanation?
I cut myself shaving
With occam's razor!
How come hooker midgets don't make a lot of cash?
Because they sell themselves short.
♫ Rum raisin, how come you taste so good? ♫
Come on... how was this not caught?!
How come you can’t starve in the desert?
Because of all the sand which is there
I cant believe how far virtual reality has come in my lifetime
"Dad, how come you didn't name me after you?"
Well, because we named you after your Mom, squirt.
The big moron and the little moron are on a bridge. The big moron fell off. How come the little moron didn't fall off?
He was a little "more on."
I was eating at a restaurant and a waiter comes up to me and asks: "How did I find the steak?"
I told him I looked underneath the parsley.
Kid ant says to his father: "Dad, how come we never get sick"? ...
Father replies "well, it is because we have little anty-bodies son!"
Not a joke per se, but definitely fits - I texted my daughter "in a bottle" and then waited for her to ask "what's this I don't get it. How come out of the blue you just randomly send me the message 'in a...' ... I hate you"
Had potential to misfire but worked perfectly.
Also, the other day my wife left a Monster energy drink under her bed, and we waited for her to come and ask "ok who put this monster under my bed?"
How come protons are so attractive?
They stay positive no matter what..
How come when women use chemicals to remove polish no one bats an eye
But when hitler does it the whole world is against him?
If Jesus comes back, how would we make sure it’s not Robot Jesus?
The shroud Of Turing test.
How come the chameleon couldn’t change colors?
How come shrimp on Broadway don't share?
My Arab son asked me how come all our neighbor countries like us
I told him that simply its because we are all united Arabs. emirate?
"Dad, how come your appointment is with the ophthalmologist but mine is at the veterinarian's?"
"Well, son. You see, one is an eye doc and the other is a ewe doc."
How come there's no races at the zoo?
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible!” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie...” he says. “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus!" exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
How come kids are never claustrophobic?
Because then they don’t get presents every Christmas.
Can you believe how far technology has come?! Now doctors can use lasers to enable you to see into the future!
Mine just told me after my surgery I'll have 2020 vision!
How come none of the animals on the ark could play cards?
Because Noah was standing on the deck
Credit to my dad who said this 2 seconds ago
If smoking is so bad for your health, then how come it cures salmon?
How come there aren’t any Irish lawyers?
Because they couldn’t pass the bar.
My girlfriend said my Australian throwing stick wouldn't come back no matter how I threw it.
It flew back after a few seconds. Turns out she was boome-wrong.
When you think about your past and how you've come sofa then you realize there are curtain things you can't change
Son: dad, how come all uncaught criminals are dyslexic?
Dad: you see, then they can do whatever they want without being arrested
Son: how's that?
Dad: well, you can't get a sentence if you can't spell
How come there hasn't been a secretary astronaut? I mean why not? they're hitting space often enough.
How come you cant hear Pterodactyls go to the toilet?
How come pirates are always getting scurvy?
Don’t they know there’s vitamin sea all around them!
I had that awkward, "How come your willy is so much bigger than mine?" conversation with my son in the bathroom this morning...
He said, "I don't know, dad, I'm only three!"
How come Yellowstone causes asthma?
When you think about your past and how you've come sofa then you realize there are curtain things you can't change
How come redheads never break stuff?
They do everything gingerly.
How come there are no automatic cars in Spain?
They’re all Manuel. (Cred to my actual dad)
How come the leader of the USSR from the 1920's to 1951 never got anything done?
...because he was always Stalin.
How come white girls only hang out in odd numbers?
How come nobody laughs at sheep jokes?
Because they're baaaaaaaad.
Hey kids! Do you want to come watch this documentary on how ships are held together?
So how come the scientist avoided the boardwalk?
Because of the pier review
How did the Wright brothers come up with the first airplane?
They didn't just pull it out of thin air.
How come you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're really good at it!
My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.
I told him, 'My door is always open!'
How come the stadium got hot after the game?
Because all of the fans left.
Wife’s best friend: how come you never buy her flowers?
Me: I didn’t even know she was selling flowers
I said to the baker “how come all your cakes are 50p but that one is £1?”
He said “that’s Madeira cake”
I said to the baker “ how come all your cakes are 50p and that one is £1?”
He said “ that one is Madeira cake”
How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?
How come the stadium got hot after the game?
Because all of the fans left.
how do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back?
How come you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they are really good at it.
How come a man driving a train got struck by lightning?
How come you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they’re good at it.
How did they come up with the spelling for ‘Canada’ ?
So there was a C eh, and a N eh and then a D eh
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie,” he says, “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus”, exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, “Larry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Larry replies, “God and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so He’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When I’m done, poof! The light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible." the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larry’s wife.
“Bonnie...” he says. “Larry is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh sweet Jesus!" exclaims Bonnie. “He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
How come Father's Day is once a year..
but "Son"day happens once a week?
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