I took a day trip to my childhood home today. I knocked, and when the residents answered, I explained how I grew up there - and asked if I might come inside to relive some nostalgia. They angrily refused, SLAMMED the door in my face, and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave.

My parents are the worst.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 162
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/andersonfmly
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20 2021
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How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 15
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/The_Pun-ishing_One
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 20 2021
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How come the pepper couldnโ€™t practice archery?

Because it didnโ€™t habaneroโ€ฆ

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 92
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Free_Commission6940
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 19 2021
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How did the piece of glass come out to it's mom?

"I'm trans, parent."

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 22
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Competitive_Ad2101
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 26 2021
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How come the computers in the orphanage don't work?

They don't have a motherboard

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 99
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RonSijm
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 18 2021
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How come it takes a lot of electricians to change a light bulb?

Because many hands make light work

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Kablaaw
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 07 2021
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How come farmers are good at doing stunts?

Because they can always land them

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 3
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/NoMoreTerritory
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 13 2021
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How come the stoner settled for Mary Jane?

Cuz he couldn't marry Juana

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/crimp_chimp
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 10 2021
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Iโ€™ve been driving for hours and itโ€™s amazing how much easier it is to see the road after the sun comes up.

Seriously, itโ€™s like night and day.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/loonmaster2
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Sep 20 2021
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How come insect plans never work out?

Thereโ€™s always bugs in the system.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 27
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/martianrome
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 07 2021
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How long does it take you to come up with a good pun

Idk, It's spuntaneous

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/khalils218
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 22 2021
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How come mute people can't tell jokes?

Because they aren't aloud.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 03 2021
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How come trees are so nice and relaxing?

Cause they're a good forrest

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 7
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Mysterious_Edge_8989
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 02 2021
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A train must have come through here, wanna know how I can tell?

It left its tracks.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 17
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Soviet__Shrimp
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 01 2021
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How did the cowboy come home with 50 cattle when he only left with 48?

He rounded โ€˜em up.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 42
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/adhdmamallama
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 11 2021
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How come the Hulk doesnโ€™t lose his pants when he transforms?

The scientific experiments altered his jeans

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Bueno117
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 22 2020
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How come there arenโ€™t any casinos in Africa?

Too many cheetahs!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Jesuscide
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 01 2021
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How come North Vietnamโ€ฆ

Was never called "Sovietnam"?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 24 2021
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How come they call a place where horses are kept a "stable"โ€ฆ

And not a neigh-bourhood?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 34
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/DENelson83
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 12 2021
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I'm learning Spanish right now. My wife said she was happy with how far I've come. I replied, me alegro de que alegres.

She replied, happiness is subjunctive.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/stickysteve44
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 04 2021
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How did the cave explorer come up with the money to explore a cavern?

Her earned it.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 2
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/buckeyespud
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jun 25 2021
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Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...

Ruff.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 437
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MyLatestInvention
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 26 2020
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"Dad, how come you never make dad jokes?"

"Son, I made you"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 37
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Talal_Ahmad
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19 2021
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How come a one-armed man never asks for help?

He prefers to do things single-handedly.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/showers_with_plants
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 19 2021
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How come no one at the kings table laughed when he farted?

Because noble gases don't cause reaction

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 12k
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/JBaczuk
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 10 2020
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My landlord says he needs to come talk to me about how high my heating bill is.

I told him, "My door is always open".

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9k
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/RayInRed
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 25 2020
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How do you defend yourself from a gang of clowns that come at you?

Go for the juggler.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 21
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/math_rod
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 10 2021
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How come blind Hispanic people are so negative?

Because they canโ€™t sรญ.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 20
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๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/OuchItDoesntFit
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 11 2021
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How come there are so many people named โ€œSmithโ€ and โ€œJonesโ€ in the phone book?

Because they all have phones.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 4
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/AConfederacyOfDunces
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 02 2021
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How come the cyclops couldn't spell HAWAII?

Cause he needed two i eyes

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/kaoskrim
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Apr 19 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How Come You Never See Elephants Hiding In Trees?

Because there really good at it

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 13
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/djendb
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 19 2021
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I've heard so much about the "Eye Of The Tiger", but how come no one talks aboutโ€ฆ

โ€ฆthe other four letters?

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 575
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ May 02 2020
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A 90-year-old man goes for a physical and all of his tests come back normal. The doctor says, โ€œLarry, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?โ€

Larry replies, โ€œGod and I are tight. He knows I have poor eyesight, so Heโ€™s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof! The light goes on. When Iโ€™m done, poof! The light goes off.โ€

โ€œWow, thatโ€™s incredible,โ€ the doctor says.

A little later in the day, the doctor calls Larryโ€™s wife.

โ€œBonnie,โ€ he says, โ€œLarry is doing fine! But I had to call you because Iโ€™m in awe of his relationship with God. Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when heโ€™s done, poof, the light goes off?โ€

โ€œOh sweet Jesusโ€, exclaims Bonnie. โ€œHeโ€™s peeing in the refrigerator again!โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 120
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 03 2020
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How come you can never hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?

Because its P is silent.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 5
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/IncompotentCyborg
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 23 2020
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How come Trump doesnโ€™t wear a mask?

He thinks he has diplomatic immunity.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 63
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/TherapyHam
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jul 30 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How does a chemist come out of the closet?

-"mom, dad, im made of gallium and yttrium"

-"what?"

-"im GaY"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 11
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/rozsaszin
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 28 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
I said to the baker, "How come all your cakes are 50p & that one's ยฃ1?"

He said, "That's Madeira cake"

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 10
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/the_houser
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 10 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How come 11 ants couldnโ€™t park their cars at their ant hill?

Because parking is for ten ants only!

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 324
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/realrhema
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 05 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
โ€œHey, how come I can see right through you?โ€

โ€œMy son came out as Transgender today, so that makes me Transparent.โ€

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 9
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/Asexualcroissant
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Oct 14 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
Every day I come home and ask my dog how his day was, and every day he always gives the same answer...

Ruff.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 8
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/MyLatestInvention
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Dec 26 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 35
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/red_snake0329
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Jan 20 2021
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How come you never see hippos hiding in trees

Because theyโ€™re really good at it

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 87
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/EpicGamerman42069
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Aug 01 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report
How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

๐Ÿ‘๏ธŽ 51
๐Ÿ’ฌ๏ธŽ
๐Ÿ‘ค๏ธŽ u/lolyfe-dc
๐Ÿ“…๏ธŽ Nov 25 2020
๐Ÿšจ๏ธŽ report

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