They put me in the ICU
I said, “Okay, could you give me the one my wife made?”
He went broke.
Doctors describe his condition as stable.
They put him in the ICU
Turns out it was just Toni Braxton Hicks
As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him.
Because it "cost an arm and a leg" to enter one !
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Note: this is first dad joke I write and make ... hope it can put some smiles on some of people faces .. have a good evening guys
PS : in a second thought .. I should had made it " Why snakes can't enter into hospitals in US? " LOL
I said, "They might even crack a few jokes.
.
.
"But they'll be brief."
But it's ok...I should be out in the spring...
It took ages to be seen.
It took 4 hours for surgeons to remove Randy's head from his ass.
I told the X-ray tech that dogs can’t use the more advanced imaging machines like us, but cat scan.
But he was dad on arrival.
The doctors say it was due to too many strokes.
It took forever before the doctor could see me
The judge said he didn't have a leg to stand on.
Those are the pie-rates of the care-I-be-in.
The woman on the other end of the line says "well okay, can you make sure he's dead?". Suddenly you hear a BANG "okay now what?"
It's now called the Jerry Hat Trick Ward
The Ultrasound guy!
I was o.k. It was a soft tissue injury.
Apparently, it's due to all the cut backs.
They put me in the ICU.
. She said "suture self".
Doctors can’t explain the frequent blackouts.
She said she wanted a big ward robe.
I named him Carson.
I told her we need to go to the hospital. Her contractions were only 4 minutes apart.
(My wife is actually in labor right now at the hospital.)
Edit: oops guess thay should be 8:58 and 9:02
Update: my wife is going in to surgery for a c section. Everything is going a little different than we hoped but it's OK.
Final update. The surgery went great everyone is doing well. I have a daughter now! Thanks guys.
They put me in the F-ward
The ICU
A patient
The ultra sound guy...
Who covers him when he's not available?....
The hip replacement guy
here's one i've been working on.
ok so there's this trade publication for the hospitality industry.
it comes out once a quarter, but just now they're doing their annual "best hotel" awards
and there's a prize for best overall, and, you know, the hilton group wins every year...
but there are also categories for boutique hotels, budget, airbnbs, etc etc
and then there's a "fun" category called "best hotel for nonhuman guests"
and loads of luxury pet care places are entering in, overpriced kennels basically, taking it really seriously...
but also ppl are sending pictures of insect hotels they've built with their kids in their back yards and stuff, it's a bit of fun.
and then this one person sends in an entry, which they say is "an overnight guesthouse for footwear"
...
and one of the judges turns to the other and says "right, this one's definitely going to win it"
the other judge says "why?"
...
...
... ...
"it's a shoe inn."
thankyouthankyou.
Doctors don’t expect any change
They took my son to run through some procedures and my wife asks me:
Wife - “Can you go wait outside the procedure room so they give the baby to you instead of waiting on a nurse to free up and bring him?”
Me - “No problem! I’ll stand out there acting in-patiently!”
Wife - 😑
Interviewer: Welcome! I’ve already read through your files so lets start with your number one redeeming quality.
Man: Well, i’d say i have really good patience.
Interviewer: Sir, we’re looking for doctors, not patients
In the ICU
they put me in the icu
They put me in the ICU
They put me in the ICU
