What you call a sea horse with Telekinesis powers?

A Chi-horse

Sorry, this is the worst joke I have ever made

👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 11 2020
🚨︎ report
“Horse” Power
👍︎ 9
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 26 2018
🚨︎ report
A man decides to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a horse, and goes to a local breeder

Not having much knowledge of the animals, he asks the owner to show him around and tell him about different breeds. "Sure, let's go," says the owner, and brings him over to the paddocks.

"So a lot depends on what you want the animal for," he says, and gestures to a powerful stallion running laps. "Over there, you've got your Type A horse: strong, fast, and a little unpredictable, but great if you want to get somewhere in a hurry."

"I think that'd be a little much for me," the man says, and the owner nods, then brings him over to see a mare quietly chomping at some hay in the shade. "This is a Type B horse - tends to be quiet and they're good companions, but not much for doing work."

The man pauses to think about what he wants the animal for, then looks over at a nearby pond and sees a horse swimming and diving over and over again. "What the heck is that one doing?" he asks the owner. "Oh, him? That's a C horse."

👍︎ 263
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Co worker pun

My co worker said there was a herd of bicycle cops that just went by. I asked "What was their horse power?"

👍︎ 2
💬︎
📅︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I had just bought my first car and decided to take my dad out for a ride...

It was a used and fairly old car, so it was a little smelly...

Dad: So how many horse power does this car have?

Me: About 250, why?

Dad: I think one of them died.

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
📅︎ Jan 27 2014
🚨︎ report
Horseback riding

I asked the leader of our group:

“How much horse power this thing have?”

Leader: “Are you serious?”

Wife: “Oh my gosh...he does this all the time”

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
Horse Puns

Funniest horse puns and jokes

A white horse walks into a pub and asks for a whisky. The landlord says: “Hey, we’ve got a whisky named after you.” The horse replies: “What, George?”


A horse trudges slowly into a pub and orders a drink. “Evenin’” says the barman, “why the long face?”


A horse walks into a smart cocktail bar. The doorman says: “Wait you can’t come in here without a tie.”The horse goes out to his car, looks in the boot and gets a set of jump leads, which he ties around his neck.He goes back in and says to the barman: “This alright?” The barman says: “Hmm, ok… but don’t be starting anything.”


A poorly-looking horse limps into a bar with a bandage round his head. He orders a glass of champagne, a vintage brandy and two pints of Guinness. He downs the lot and says to the barman: “I shouldn’t really be drinking this with what I’ve got?” “Why, what have you got?” “About £2 and a carrot.”


Which side of a horse has more hair? The outside What’s a horse’s favourite TV show? Neighbours


A racehorse owner takes his horse to the vet. “Will I be able to race this horse again?,” he asks The vet replies: “Of course you will, and you’ll probably win!”


Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!


A dead horse walks into a bar and orders a whisky.

“I’m sorry, sir,” says the barman. “We don’t serve spirits..


A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. “Excuse me, good sir,” the horse says, “are you hiring?” The manager looks the horse up and down and says, “Sorry, pal. Why don’t you try the circus?” The horse nickers. “Why would the circus need a bartender?”


Did you hear about the man who was hospitalized with six plastic horses inside him? The doctor described his condition as stable.


What did the horse say when it fell? “I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”


Q. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? A. Some poor horse is walking around in his socks.


A man rode his horse to town on Friday. The next day he rode back on Friday. How is this possible? The horse’s name was Friday.


Why did the pony have to gargle? Because it was a little horse!


What did the horse say when it fell? I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!


What did the teacher say when the horse walked into the class? Why the long face?


What do you call a horse that lives next door? A neigh-bo

... keep reading on reddit ➡

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Punsville
📅︎ May 04 2017
🚨︎ report
I cracked this one to my wife before..

We were towing a trailer in a very underpowered van, and in front of us was a car towing a horse trailer. I said "they're pulling away from us.... but they do have a few more horse power."

She wasn't amused.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 05 2017
🚨︎ report
Dad joked my girlfriend just now.

Her: "how fast do horses run" Me: "well they have only one horse power, so..."

She told me to stop talking. Worth it.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 16 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.