Just sold my homing pigeons on eBay.

For the 22nd time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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What do you call a homing pigeon that can’t find its way home?

A pigeon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BusyPooping
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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I just cross-bred an alligator and a homing pigeon.

I expect that'll come back to bite me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Merulius
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2019
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My dad taught his homing pigeons to dance to rap music.

Now they're homie pigeons.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bigfoothobbit
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2019
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I've just sold my homeing pigeons on EBay for the 17th time!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothepropellor
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2017
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Making money selling stuff online is easy.

I just sold my homing pigeon for the 15th time!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keano4
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Bacon Puns

Why didn’t the drunk Mexican druglord find the Bacon Tree? Because he walked into a Ham Bush!


Whats green and smells like bacon? Β Kermit the Frog’s finger! Why do we cook bacon and bake cookies?


Why did the pig go into the kitchen? He felt like bacon.


Which actor is now being quarantined for Swine Flu? Β Kevin Bacon


If you can’t get Swine Flu from eating bacon what can you get? A1: Obesity A2: Heart Disease A3: Hardening of the Arteries


Whats the name of the movie about Bacon? A1: Frankenswine A2: Hamlet Why do pigs go to New York City? To see the Big Apple.


Why was the meat packer arrested? For bringing home the bacon.


What do you get when you cross a pig and a chicken? The best bacon-and-eggs of your life.


Why did the pig kill the farmer? To save his own bacon. What do you call a bacon wrapped dinosaur? Jurrasic Pork.


What do you call a pig that can tell you about his ancestors? History in the bacon.


How do they get up there? In pigup trucks. What do you get when you cross a pig and a centipede? Bacon and Legs.


What would happen if pigs could fly? The price of bacon would go skyrocket.


What did the boy bacon say to the girl bacon? Girl, you’re bacon my heart melt.


What are they warned to watch out for? Pigpockets.


First Carter Page and now Betsy DeVos. Trump’s cabinet is like a game of six degrees of Kevin Bacon except with Russia.


Everything must be wrapped in bacon, including bacon.


If Kevin Bacon doesn’t whisper β€œHere comes the Baconator” before he has sex all my faith in humanity is lost


I’ll acknowledge Canada Day when they finally acknowledge that’s not bacon


If Donald Trump really KNOWS the average WORKER then where are the pics of Trump hungover in 7-Eleven buying bacon in sweat pants?


This guy ordered a vegetarian sandwich and then added bacon. It was like watching someone have a mid-life crisis and then find a cool hobby.


If we don’t build a wall on our northern border, they’ll soon be maple syrup & Canadian bacon trucks on every corner.


I signed an Executive Order to make Saturday morning bacon and eggs and pancakes with triple butter and syrup non-fattening.


My bedroom smells like maple, bacon and beaver…because I’m Canadian.


When the waitress calls you Babycakes you know you’re getting extr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2017
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Managed to get my dad

Driving home, a pigeon sat in the road and I swerved to avoid hitting it.

Dad: "I would've hit the little fucker."

Me: "I wouldn't be able to do that, I couldn't live with the emotional bird-en"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maelstrom197
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2015
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I just sold my homing pigeon on eBay

Again

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jan_Tik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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I just cross-bred a crocodile and a homing pigeon.

I expect that'll come back to bite me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nayragrets
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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You can never lose a homing pigeon

If your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ASK_IF_IM_PENGUIN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
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I cross-bred a homing pigeon and a crocodile...

I betcha that will come back to bite me

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twin802
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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