My wife brought home a parakeet yesterday. When she comes home, she’s in for a surprise because ...

Toucan play at this game.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CombatWombat267
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2020
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When is the best time to get a pet parakeet?

When they are going cheep

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/td941
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
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My uncle used to breed and sell parakeets...

they were flying off the shelves but he switched to chickens and they didn't take off. So he tried ducks and then it was all bills, bills, bills.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lineman5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2018
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I bought a parakeet today at the pet store.

I was cheated though; they gave me one, not two.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Vaderman1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2019
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What kind of parakeet can't fly?

Parapalegickeet

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LiquidFix
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 09 2018
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My buddies parakeet got arrested, so he asked me if I knew bird law

I said no, but I could definitely wing it

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mikejk777
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 02 2017
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What is the difference between an elephant and a parakeet?

One is an elephant, the other a parakeet

just posted on r/jokes and was kindly directed here

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thidum
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2018
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I've decided to sell my dead parakeet.

It won't go cheep.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 20 2017
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Parakeets

My sister's friend recently got two parakeets, which she proudly announced at dinner the other night. My dad responded, "Ah, so she has four keets?"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DethRaid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 18 2014
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Paradox.

It has been proposed that an ox may never birth a conjoined twin

But if it did it would be a Paired Ox.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Hasrirama
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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Got my daughter with this one...

Got my daughter good tonight. We went to the pet store to get cat treats. She was looking around and saw a few parakeets.

I said, "You do know that when you have one it's a 'keet'. If you get two, it's a 'parakeets'!".

Thank you. Thank you very much. Shows at 8 and 10. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/taocpa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2017
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Happened while Mom was looking through the "free" ads online...

Mom: "There's some free parakeets on here." Dad: "But what if I only want one keet?"

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/katkathryn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2016
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I've never heard him laugh so hard at his own joke...

Just discovered this subreddit and I had to share:

My dad and I were both sick during the fall (fall of 2006 or so, with the flu) and were watching TV, discussing our sickness.

I said "Well its fall, its full of grounded leaves, sickness, and misery."

Dad: "Grounded leaves? That's not what they're called."

Me: "Huh? They're just leaves on the ground."

Dad: "There's a name for it. Don't you know what they call leaves in the fall?"

Me: "I guess not..."

Dad: "FALLING LEAVES!"

He then proceeds to laugh hysterically, slapping his knees, and scaring the crap out of my poor parakeet.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zen_Galactic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2013
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