Scam warning: do not reply to any job offers from Braxton Hicks.

It's false labor.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ash-leg2
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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What do you say to ignorant hicks? imgur.com/j5YnyaI
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dhalsimballskin
πŸ“…︎ Mar 02 2017
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Dadjoked my car today.

It told me one of the doors was ajar. And I was like "No, I'm pretty sure that's a door."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lascanto
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2015
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Hello, boys.
πŸ‘︎ 486
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bkrmalick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2013
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Country girl goes to visit her big city cousin.

So the two girls get invited to a dance. The country girl thinks this might be too high brow for her, and tells her cousin, β€œGolly, them city fellers might think I’m just a dumb hick.” Her cousin says, β€œDon’t worry. Just do as I do and you’ll be fine.” After hours of dancing they got tired, so they sat down. Another guy comes and asks the city girl to dance. She smiles sweetly and says β€œI’m contemplating matrimony and I think I’d like to sit.” So when the next guy comes up to ask the country girl to dance she smiles confidently and says, β€œI’m constipated on macaroni and I think I’d like to shit.”

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
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My dad loved telling this one.

Original in Mandarin, so I may not have done the best job translating.

A country boy comes into the city for the first time in his life. He's never seen a skyscraper before, so he's standing on the street staring up in amazement. A city slicker walks by and says, "Excuse me sir, you realize there's a tax for counting stories don't you?"

"Oh, OK"

"How many stories did you count on this building?"

"10"

"That'll be 10 dollars please"

The country boy hands over the 10 dollars. The city guy takes the money and walks away, thinking to himself, "what a dumb hick, who'd believe such a thing as a counting-stories tax?"

The country boy walked away pretty pleased with himself, thinking, "what a dumb official, I actually counted 20 stories"

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thesavant
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
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