Herb puns
Today my chef asked me to grab her some spices. I yelled from outside " I'm cumin, just give me some thyme "
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︎ Sep 19 2019
What did Ronald Reaganβs wife say when he asked her if she wanted a new herb garden?
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︎ Jan 09 2021
I told my wife Iβm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, βWhere would you find the time?β
I said, βEasy. Right next to the sage.β
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︎ Dec 13 2020
My best friend is allergic to certain herbs.
I'm afraid it's just a matter of thyme...
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︎ Jan 12 2021
I just got a letter from a herb and spice company demanding the $100 I owe them.
If I don't pay them within a week, they have threatened to send the bay leafs around.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
A friend of mine just died from eating too many herbs
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︎ Oct 29 2020
What's a postmans favourite herb?
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︎ Nov 28 2020
My wife just threw away my favourite herb.
She's such a Thyme waster
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︎ Jun 03 2020
When do you add herbs to your dish?
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︎ Dec 08 2020
What do you call the King of herbs?
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︎ Nov 22 2020
She handed me a jar and said, "This herb goes well with pork, beef, duck and chicken recipes, and fatty meats in particular."
I looked at the label and thought, "That is some sage advice."
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︎ Nov 08 2020
I was at my parents house over the weekend. As a joke, I swapped all the labels around on their herbs and spices.
They havenβt noticed yet... but the thyme is cumin.
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︎ Sep 21 2020
What did the herb farmer say when he was running behind schedule?
Weβre in a thyme crunch
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︎ Nov 23 2020
Whenever I cook, I'm always left with excess herbs.
Guess I just have great Thyme management.
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︎ Nov 11 2020
I served a female deer with herbs to my family at a recent dinner party.
Calling it "Spit-Roasted Dill Doe" was maybe a little unwise
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︎ Oct 13 2020
After many years of procrastination I have finally finished my book on common herbs...
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︎ Aug 02 2020
My friend Herb was kidnapped!
I just received a ransom call from a unrecognized number asking if I want to get Herb alive
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︎ Sep 21 2020
After many years of designing, the government has released a new type of currency made out of herbs.
They spent a lot of thyme on it, but now it's mint.
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︎ Oct 01 2020
Why did the kid rub herbs on his scraped knee?
Because his Dad told him thyme heals all wounds.
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︎ Aug 20 2020
the other night, my dad taught me his famous stew recipe. it went great, the only issue we had was with the herbs i wanted to use. he told me βyouβre wrong about the parsley...
but thatβs okay because youβre right on thymeβ
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︎ Sep 27 2020
I tried to make a belt out of Italian herbs, but it didnβt work
It was just a waist of thyme
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︎ Aug 22 2020
My brother and I were just reminiscing about the herb garden our family had when we were kids.
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︎ Aug 19 2020
My fresh herbs will go bad soon
I want to make pesto but Iβm running out of thyme.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
I want to share some information on cultivating herbs.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
What do you call moving herbs?
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︎ Jun 01 2020
I dropped my jar of herbs. After I picked them all up, my cat knocked the jar over again
Picking them up yet again was such a waste of thyme
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︎ Sep 02 2020
I'm so damn tired of these daily repetitive boring Herb jokes. Honestly..
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︎ Jul 12 2020
Anyone else noticing a recent influx of herb related jokes?
It is that thyme of year, I suppose.
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︎ Jun 04 2020
Whst did the herb gardener say to the sloppy chef?
Please, don't waste my thyme!
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︎ Aug 05 2020
I asked a friend to help me weed my herb garden today.
He declined, well, it was probably the wrong thyme.
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︎ Aug 11 2020
I poisoned my enemies herbs.
Guess it was his thyme to go.
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︎ Jul 19 2020
A friend suggested I added herbs to my soup.
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︎ Jun 25 2020
My dad invented a belt made of herbs that takes you 5 minutes into the future.
It took 6 minutes to put on. It was a waist of thyme
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︎ May 18 2020
UPS says my book on evergreen herbs from the mint family lamiaceae is going to be delivered tomorrow by end of day.
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︎ May 03 2020
I wanted to plant every herb in my garden.
But I just don't have the thyme.
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︎ Jun 03 2020
My Dad grows herbs as a hobby.
He has way too much Thyme on his hands.
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︎ Apr 06 2020
I didnβt pay attention to what herb I bought
Turns out it was a big dill. Iβm allergic.
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︎ May 27 2020
I accidentally killed off my herb garden twice. As I replanted it yet again I thought to myself...
"Third thyme's a charm."
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Based on a true story. Wife's eyeroll suggested this 100% belonged here.
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︎ May 29 2020
I keep being awakened by dreams of Indian dishes that use a complex combination of spices or herbs, usually including ground turmeric, cumin, coriander, ginger, and fresh or dried chilies...
It's a re-curry-ing nightmare.
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︎ May 23 2020
I'd like to experiment with more herbs and spices
But I just haven't got thyme
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︎ Apr 25 2020
I was whipping up some pesto when I realized I was out of an herb to add flavor. Luckily, my son's guitar was handy....
I was able to add some bass-il to my tasty sauce.
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︎ May 23 2020
Last night, in bed, my wife asked me to put fresh fish and herbs on her.
I said, "There's a thyme and a plaice for that sort of thing."
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︎ Jun 02 2020
We tried planting some herbs in the back yard.
The basil has done fine, the other died. I turned to my wife and said, βwell, thereβs no thyme in quarantine!β
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︎ Jun 17 2020
People ask me how I take such good care of my herb garden...
Really I have nothing but thyme
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︎ May 25 2020
I told my wife I was going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order. She said "Where would you find the time ?"
I said, "Easy, right next to the sage"
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︎ Jul 22 2020
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up
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︎ Jul 29 2020
I finally finished my book on herbs.
Some might say itβs about thyme.
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︎ May 31 2020
I told my wife, βIβm going to arrange the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.β
She said, βWhere would you find the time?β
I said, βThat should be easy. Next to the sage.β
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︎ Dec 07 2018
I told my wife that Iβm going to arrange all the herbs in alphabetical order from now on.
She said, βWhere would you find the time?β
I said, βEasy. Right next to the sage.β
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︎ Apr 10 2020
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