From the Darth Maul
He does it for safety porpoises
Cheapskates!........cheap helmets, cheap gloves...
He said he'd really like to hear S'more Music.
they can go over your head.
It was breathtaking.
...and that's my Bucket list
I want to rename an item I use in a video game to something clever. The helmet is a spartan helmet painted gold so anything witty would be nice! Thanks in advance!
I should probably add the item is a helmet and is cosmetic. The character weilds a rocket launcher and is from teamfortress to anyone familiar.
Chatting on the phone with my dad while he was at work.
Dad "I've got a light on my helmet so I look like a miner"
Me "No, I would say you look about 40"
Not even a chuckle from him 😒
...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin.
Because then they'd be wearing a handicap! (handy cap)
A shell-met!
I’m not sure but always wear a helmet on your Segway
My infant has a pretty flat head, when I took him to the doctor's office to get a referral for a helmet to shape his head, they asked what his name was.
I told them, "Well, his name is ___, but we like to call him Phillips to encourage him."
I got some truly authentic guffaws, and my dadjoke confidence rose a bit. I feel like I may be getting the hang of this.
"listen honey, its not that i want a divorce, i just think i need some space." Then i would put on my helmet and slow walk to the launch pad.
I broke my jaw, my cheek bone and cracked my skull in 2 spots.
It's funny because it's true.
Always wear your helmet.
...and since I directly fell in love with them, I had to send a photo of me wearing them to some friends and somehow also my to dad.
I got responses like "You look hot" or "So sexy!".
My dad's response: "You must be so tall wearing them. I guess I know who's getting a helmet for christmas!"
The girl was wearing a firefighter's helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and cat.
"That sure is a nice fire truck!" the fireman said with admiration.
"Thanks!" the girl replied.
The fireman looked a little closer and noticed the girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
The fireman said, "I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster."
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
Note: Quality Very Varying (I see what I did there) and sometimes subject to specialist knowledge. So I apologise in advance. Shame me with your better puns.
While I was languishing in the Language Centre, doing some semantics antics and considering how all the other linguistics students despised and derided me, I was accosted by a stout man with large glasses who made me a preposition. It was that I should collect terrible puns, to do with linguistics, in order to ingratiate myself yet further with the other linguistics students (including even the phonetics fanatics).
I'm struggling to think of a pun to do with grammaticality that both makes sense and "Is grandma tickly?" correct. I'm also stuck on 'morphologician'. (I'm not actually sure that's a particularly logical word for the subject, though I guess that's more for, er, more for a logician to worry about.)
The problem I have with writing about phonological variation is that one is constantly forced to choose between being fun or logical - very Asian!I always get in trouble with electricians, they think I'm calling them a 'dialectician' whereas in fact I'm just saying "Die, electrician."
I like pscycholinguistics – the only department of linguistics where it’s acceptable to wear a cycle helmet. My Australian accent is terrible but I like to think my Sath Efrican one is predicate. My favourite accent is Received Pronunciation, because it is the accent chiefly used by invisible Japanese people who are ordered online. When the first recipient of an invisible Japanese person got the parcel, they wrote a complaint saying "Received but can't see Asian" and the name stuck.
Why did the speakers whose native languages weren't English, but whose only shared language was English, but they weren't very good at it and kept on having to stop to think about it, stop talking to one another? They came to an agreement. (Get it? If not, write your answer on a pastecard and paste it to the below address.)
What did the 'a' say to the 'the'? "You definitely are ticklish, 'the'!"
Why was the small man eaten by the large bear, which was proportionately bigger than him? It had, er, relative claws.
I think the reason there are so many speakers of Russian is because they all partake in an activity called "copulae shun". (Ok, ok, I know, that was Pushkin it.)
I know a man called Hillary who can, might, should, did, must, shall and will ride an ox. We call him "Ox Hillary".
I always think the verb 'to be' in the senten
... keep reading on reddit ➡Me: Someone ran into him with their helmet and his ear was ringing for a few minutes afterwards.
Dad: Did he answer it?
I've recovering from a bad road bike crash where I fractured my hip and was in the hospital a few days after surgery (about 4 weeks ago). I was knocked unconscious in the crash, but my helmet probably saved my life and I was diagnosed with post-traumatic amnesia.
A few days later I was talking to a friend and he was asking about the crash and I said, "The doctor told me a name for the type of amnesia it is, but I don't remember it..."
He replied with a laugh, "Did you mean to make that joke?"
I didn't. It's hilarious.
He was walking behind me through the store and I noticed that he wasn't replying in conversation so I turned around and he wasn't there. I went to look for him and as I'm walking down an aisle and all of a sudden he comes around the corner at the end of the aisle with a Darth Vader helmet (no voice changer but he made it work) and he says "I am your father!" I could not stop laughing, happy birthday Dad.
Background: Wife and I took our son to his 1 month pediatrician appointment yesterday, where the only minor issue she noted was a slight flattening on the left side of his head because he likes to look one way instead of the other. Hilarity ensued when we got home.
Wife: "If we're not careful, our son is going to have to wear one of those special helmets because he'll have a flat head."
Me: "Then I guess it's a good thing we didn't name him Phillip!"
/cue rimshot
