50 Shades of Hay.
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︎ Mar 11 2021
You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..
.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.
(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).
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︎ Apr 14 2021
From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"
True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."
I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"
He responds, "it's dead grass."
I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"
.
.
.
He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.
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︎ May 10 2021
I'm making a new documentary about hay-fever, called 'My Nose.'
My Nose will be streaming soon.
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︎ Feb 07 2021
Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. That's it.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
My posts were removed.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Not mine but hay, its still pretty good
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︎ Jan 14 2020
Hay bales under a buck
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︎ Dec 04 2019
πΎ πΎ πΎ π
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︎ Mar 24 2021
You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...
Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.
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︎ Jul 30 2020
What did the dying cowboy say right before he shuffled off his mortal coil?
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︎ Apr 16 2021
Being a scarecrow isn't for everyone.
Butt hay, it's in my jeans.
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︎ Apr 10 2021
How do Farmers greet their cows?
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︎ Apr 09 2021
Hay bales for sale. Good price, under a buck.
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︎ Dec 04 2019
Made from whole hay (Made by Vincent Trinidad)
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︎ Dec 15 2019
My daughter wants a horse...
But first we need a stable income.
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︎ Dec 24 2020
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︎ Aug 22 2019
A man was admitted to the hospital for horses in him
Heβs in stable condition
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︎ Feb 17 2021
Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
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︎ Jul 31 2019
People who identify as hay can now get married.
They just have to find a bale bondsman.
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︎ Oct 24 2019
A farmerβs convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.
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︎ Nov 29 2019
What did the farmer say when he found out that his tractor was missing?
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︎ Feb 07 2021
My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldnβt be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.
But Iβm just grasping at straws here.
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︎ Mar 09 2019
Hay, y'all!
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︎ Apr 14 2019
What's a bale of hay's favourite fruit?
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︎ Nov 18 2019
Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, βTHE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!β
It might be farmer Geddon.
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︎ Oct 23 2020
I've had enough of people stealing my hay...
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︎ Mar 13 2019
Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for stealing hay?
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︎ Sep 04 2019
They recently banned cylindrical hay bales in North Dakota
The legislature was worried that that the cows weren't getting a square meal
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︎ Aug 31 2019
What do scarecrows say at the end of their prayers?
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︎ Mar 25 2021
I have hay-fever at the moment
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︎ Sep 07 2019
Passed a farm with a sign that said "selling hay", but there was noone there
They might get more business selling "hello's" or "hi's"
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︎ Oct 26 2019
I know a man who makes horse feed while his child polishes shoes
He makes hay while the son shines.
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︎ Feb 25 2021
My horse has insomnia and keeps everyone awake
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︎ Jun 29 2020
I recently heard that the agriculture industry will be discontinuing baling hay in big rolls
The livestock canβt get a square meal!
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︎ Sep 09 2019
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︎ Mar 03 2015
(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?
Because they arenβt just difficult, they are neigh impossible!
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︎ Dec 04 2020
A guy I knew tried to steal some hay but he got caught and was sent to prison.
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︎ Jun 07 2019
I was cutting hay today when all the workers left!
I don't know why they baled on me...
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︎ Apr 20 2019
I like to combine words like hay and maze to mayze
But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces
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︎ Jun 04 2019
My friend asked if I would help him move hay on the farm the other day...
I didnβt want to so I bailed
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︎ Apr 12 2019
Hay!
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︎ Nov 20 2017
Did you hear they made round hay bales illegal?
Cows weren't getting a square meal.
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︎ Jun 13 2019
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? Itβs because the cows werenβt getting a square meal.
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︎ Nov 16 2019
The fda has decided to outlaw the round hay bails.
It appears cows aren't getting a square meal.
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︎ Aug 26 2019
Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?
Itβs because the cows werenβt getting a square meal.
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︎ Feb 06 2019
Did you hear about the guy that got arrested for stealing hay?
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︎ Aug 25 2018
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