50 Shades of Hay.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tway_UX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 11 2021
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You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..

.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.

(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/plantborb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2021
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From my 5-year-old son: "Hey"

True story; it even happened last night. My 5-year-old son walks up behind me and out of the blue says, "hey."

I turn to him and say, "yeah, kiddo? What's up?"

He responds, "it's dead grass."

I'm really confused and trying to figure out what's wrong and what he wants from me. "What? There's dead grass? What's wrong with that?"

.

.

.

He says, totally straight-faced, "hay is dead grass," and runs off.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PolyPanDEMIcAspieLex
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 10 2021
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I'm making a new documentary about hay-fever, called 'My Nose.'

My Nose will be streaming soon.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
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Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. Straw. That's it.

The last straw.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iMakeCrap
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 26 2021
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My posts were removed.

Someone took a fence.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/coot32
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2021
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Not mine but hay, its still pretty good
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/W4ffl3copter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2020
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Hay bales under a buck
πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HulkHoff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2019
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🌾 🌾 🌾 πŸ˜‚
πŸ‘οΈŽ 65
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ZachTF
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 24 2021
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You know those big round bales of hay? they are illegal in Wyoming...

Yeah, It turns out that the animals weren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/phlatbroke
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 30 2020
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What did the dying cowboy say right before he shuffled off his mortal coil?

Whoa is me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WaynePrndl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2021
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Being a scarecrow isn't for everyone.

Butt hay, it's in my jeans.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 355
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flashblazer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2021
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How do Farmers greet their cows?

Hay

πŸ‘οΈŽ 35
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/geckheck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 09 2021
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Hay bales for sale. Good price, under a buck.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ehmeyekayee
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2019
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Made from whole hay (Made by Vincent Trinidad)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 30
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DBrownGames
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2019
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My daughter wants a horse...

But first we need a stable income.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MyLatestInvention
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 24 2020
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Hey! There’s hay in the road! v.redd.it/jss1e9ygnwh31
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/notsocasualobserver
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 22 2019
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A man was admitted to the hospital for horses in him

He’s in stable condition

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 17 2021
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Spotted at the county fair. He's probably part of the Hay-waymen
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HosstaLaVista
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 31 2019
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People who identify as hay can now get married.

They just have to find a bale bondsman.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wingerd33
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 24 2019
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A farmer’s convict son was supposed to be helping him with the chores. When he looked behind the barn, his son was asleep on the hay.

He was out on bale.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 29 2019
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What did the farmer say when he found out that his tractor was missing?

Where's my tractor?

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Navneeth_Menon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 07 2021
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My boss is making me dig through a stack of hay bare-handed to look for anything that shouldn’t be there. I suspect he dropped his wedding ring while having an affair with the new girl he hired in the pile and now he is desperate to hide the evidence from his wife who might be on to him.

But I’m just grasping at straws here.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Propagansus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2019
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Hay, y'all!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flimsy_Classic
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2019
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What's a bale of hay's favourite fruit?

A straw-berry

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EternalMotivation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2019
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Some guy on a tractor keeps driving past my house shouting, β€œTHE END IS NIGH!!! THE END IS NIGH!!!”

It might be farmer Geddon.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 182
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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I've had enough of people stealing my hay...

It's the last straw

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/machi_koro
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 13 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who got arrested for stealing hay?

He made bale.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wonder-er
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 04 2019
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They recently banned cylindrical hay bales in North Dakota

The legislature was worried that that the cows weren't getting a square meal

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BrokenheroReddit
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2019
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What do scarecrows say at the end of their prayers?

Hay men.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/knives696
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 25 2021
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I have hay-fever at the moment

Snot funny.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bansel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2019
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Passed a farm with a sign that said "selling hay", but there was noone there

They might get more business selling "hello's" or "hi's"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/P_mp_n
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 26 2019
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I know a man who makes horse feed while his child polishes shoes

He makes hay while the son shines.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Flaky_Explanation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2021
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My horse has insomnia and keeps everyone awake

She's a nightmare

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2020
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I recently heard that the agriculture industry will be discontinuing baling hay in big rolls

The livestock can’t get a square meal!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oldwahsatch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2019
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πŸ‘οΈŽ 234
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mr_frankenstein
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2015
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(OC) Why do magicians not use horses in their acts?

Because they aren’t just difficult, they are neigh impossible!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/faux_real_yo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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A guy I knew tried to steal some hay but he got caught and was sent to prison.

I had to bale him out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 07 2019
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I was cutting hay today when all the workers left!

I don't know why they baled on me...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 20 2019
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I like to combine words like hay and maze to mayze

But when I swap for aces of spades, I'm trading Spaces

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maxxbreaker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 04 2019
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My friend asked if I would help him move hay on the farm the other day...

I didn’t want to so I bailed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chaseo2017
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 12 2019
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Hay!
πŸ‘οΈŽ 86
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cerealcake
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2017
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Did you hear they made round hay bales illegal?

Cows weren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aussietin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 13 2019
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Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin? It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2019
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The fda has decided to outlaw the round hay bails.

It appears cows aren't getting a square meal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jablothegreat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 26 2019
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Did you see they made round bails of hay illegal in Wisconsin?

It’s because the cows weren’t getting a square meal.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lobsterbash
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 06 2019
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Did you hear about the guy that got arrested for stealing hay?

He made bale.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flyersfan3452
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 25 2018
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