Such hardy memes.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pallabpain
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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A platypus walks into a bar owned by a duck.

He finishes his drink and asks for his check.

Duck billed platypus.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2019
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My friend and I were playing golf. He hit the flagpole on the shot and said β€œthat gave me a heart attack!”

I told him β€œactually that was a stroke”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dingdongdan69
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2020
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How do you make holy water?

You boil the hell out of it.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2018
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I used to have bedsheets with images of one member of a comedy duo from the 1920's, but could never get any good sleep...

I couldn't rest on my Laurels.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday?

Aye matey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/officerpaws
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2018
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Wife told me β€œTonight, you’ll be able to see Uranus with the naked eye”

I replied that all I need is a mirror...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/redneckrockuhtree
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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My new phone case

My iPhone, complete with the hardy Otterbox case, fell on the floor today in front of my dad. I picked it up and muttered "...and people ask me why I use this massive Otterbox."

My dad said: "right, its just in case."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/da3mite
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2014
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Something a bit cheesy

As I stare at the cheese aisle, I'm trying to decide what looks Gouda for my Munster appetiteβ€” each cheese goating me to choose it. The truth is, I don't know Jack about cheese selection. But then I realize I Havarti made my choice. I'll go with cheddar, because it has Provolone-standing favorite of mine. Now I better stop this Brie-fore it gets too cheesy.

True storyβ€”happened today. Hardy har harlsberg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CleverWordPlay
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2012
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Got my roommates earlier, when one complained of his smoothie.

He had it in the freezer overnight and complained it was frozen solid (durr), to which I replied, "guess it's a hardie now".
Groans followed by high fives ensued.
Can't wait to be a dad and use these Dad Jokes all the time...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Howzie09
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2015
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My mom mentioned that the play Wicked is going to be playing nearby.

Mom- considering 3 of the 4 of us like Wicked and the other hasn't seen it before... Me- How wicked of you. Rest of family- Hardy har har

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JarheadHMEH
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2014
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Every time we pass a cemetery

My dad would say:

Dad: "Why did they put a fence around the cemetery?"

Me: I don't know, why?

Dad: "Because people were dying to get in!"

hardy har har, Dad.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theSTEVEb
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
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