Did you hear about the red-haired elf in the baking dept. at the North Pole?
Why are silver haired characters so badass?
Every Sunday I read the Times and complain to my kids about that orange haired narcissist dominating the paper by insulting and mocking everyone, especially those closest to him.
That Garfield needs to learn how to think about more than just himself and his next plate of lasagna.
A red-haired man got hired at a bakery...
...I guess that makes him a gingerbread man
My friend was leading his wild, shaggy-haired ox thru the mountains of central Asia when it projectile vomited all over his feet!
What did the dad say to his long haired son?
Dad: You should have gotten a haricut a long time ago...
Son: But dad, I did get a haircut a long time ago!
My white long haired cat, Noah, has a lot of hair
There's this planet, where the pointy-haired natives never smile, never crack a joke,
except every seven years, when all they do is word play.
It's called Pun Farr.
Looking out our office window to watch torrential downpour, see a white haired, bearded gentleman who looked just like Santa getting completely soaked as he runs to catch a bus.
Female co-worker: "Awww. Poor Santa! He's getting drenched!"
Me: "It's okay. Santa likes rain, dear."
I’d be lying if I said I got a hair cut
Why do bees have sticky hair?
Because, they use honeycombs.
My daughter asked if I could braid her hair and the result was
How do hamburgers wear their hair?
How does the moon cut it's hair?
What do you call a cat with plaits in its hair?
A platypus
(From my 4 year old daughter while I did her hair this morning)
What is a bird’s favorite hair style?
Last Halloween a girl dressed as the grim reaper came to my door with messy hair and asked me politely to fix it.
That night, I had a brush with death.
I was standing in front of the bedroom mirror looking myself over, rather unhappy with what I saw. I told my wife "I feel horrible. I look fat. I'm ugly. When did my hair start retreating like this? When did this stretch mark show up? I could use a compliment honey, my self esteem is in the dumps."
She looked at me and replied "your eyesight is damn near perfect."
I used to hate facial hair
Where does the sheep get his hair cut?
Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
Because they use a honey comb!
Do you want hair, with more volume?
I was standing in line waiting to have my hair cut, when I noticed that no one had started a fire yet.
I thought, "This is a shit barber queue."
What do you call Chewbacca when he gets Nestle morsels stuck in his hair?
My girlfriend wanted to get vaccinated in Rio de Janeiro but instead lost all her hair
She asked for the Brazilian vax
I know a baker who has red hair.
He was the original ginger bread man.
The grim reaper was at a spa getting hair removal.
It was a Nair death experience.
Petco has a new Covid vaccine for animals & humans. In tests, some people have reported excessive hair growth on their hands. I'm going to get it anyway...
but it does give me paws.
Man I used to really hate facial hair
But I have to admit, it's growing on me
What do you call the fake shit you use to wash your hair?
It FINALLY happened.
Almost 40 and growing my beard out for the first time. Wife finally says "You know I'm starting to like it." And I could finally say "Yeah. It's growing on me."
Why is it more comfortable to have no shine in your hair?
Because then you'd have a matte tress.
I know I have a terrible stutter, but I would like to introduce you to the lady who cuts my hair
This is Ba ba ba ba barber Anne.
A curious child asked her mom, "why are you starting to get some grey hairs in with all your dark hair?"
Seizing this as a moral teaching moment she tells her daughter this little white lie, "Well young lady, when a daughter does something naughty, one of her mother's hairs turns grey."
After several moments of deep thought her daughter says to her mother, "So, mommy is that why all of grandma's hair is grey????"
What do you call a spy who bleaches his hair?
Hair today, gone tomorrow.
I saw male wigs on sale for $1
It’s a small price toupee
What's a skeleton's favorite hair ballad?
NoBODY's Fool - Cinderella
My wife claims that she can wax my chest hair without me feeling any pain at all.
I am worried she won’t be able to pull it off.
Why is Pavlov’s hair so soft??
Because he conditioned it. 😂
I told my dad that Derren Brown looks better without hair
He said "That's a bald claim"
How does The Moon cut his hair?
How does the moon cut its hair?
How does the moon cut it's hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
I used to hate facial hair
How does the moon cut his hair
How does the moon cut his hair?
I used to hate facial hair...
Why is a bee’s hair always sticky?
Because it uses a honeycomb
How does the moon cut his hair?
How does the Moon cuts its hair?
How does the moon cut his hair?
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