I was so shocked I nearly choked on my toenails.
Armageddon.
A cyclepath
I start dealing at the casino on Monday
A Roaming Catholic.
One night at the bar, I asked him if he could hit the bullseye on the dart board from thirty feet away.
He pulled out a throwing star and said “shuriken”.
Ed Sheerin’
Sacramints
Her sister was Nun the Wiser
They've got bad habits.
Broom mates.
Are for nuns.
Don’t worry, I can stop any time
Virgin on the ridiculous
I’m a real fanatic.
The Pelosiraptor
They work on so many levels
I'm a son without a father... I lost him a few days ago to a heart attack and I just... can't stop crying
We both used to check out this sub daily for amazing dad jokes and laugh at them together... We'd try to form our own stupid stuff
I used to wake up for college early in the morning I'd cook some breakfast for him get ready and before leaving I'd wake him up and tell him a stupid dad joke... I'd want to see him start his day with a smile
I just want to thank you all in this sub for giving me and my dad happiness your jokes made us laugh at our worst times
Out of habit I keep getting up to go to his room with a dad joke... Only to see it empty
I'm never gonna get to mess around with my dad again... I'm never going to hang out with him again he's not going to be there to see me grow up and buy a house of my own ... He's not going to see me buy a car of own ... He's not going to see me get married... He's gone forever and I will never get to start my day with a smile again from a silly dad joke with him
He wasn't the greatest dad but he certainly was the best I could ever ask for ... I will miss you dad
Thank you r/dadjokes to all the amazing dads here and their funny and stupid jokes
Edit : thank you so much dad's for your overwhelming support I love you guys and I just want to take a moment to thank all the people here who shared their experiences as well of having lost a parent... Your story inspires me to continue forward with the torch
Also I'm seeing quite a few comments saying the post is not funny and that they came for a laugh... I'm truly sorry about that, I just really wanted to honor my dad in this sub since we spent so much time together here scrolling for jokes and I needed the push from you dads to get back on my feet
I'm never going to be the same that's for sure knowing a peice of me has been lost forever... The void will never be filled in my heart But your support is just what I needed, once again thank you dads I love you
Edit 2: thank you so much dads for your overwhelming support I know I haven't been able to respond to all the dms and messages here but I've been reading them all and it's just made me smile in the worst Thank you dads you guys are the best
I bite my toenails now
Wonder what She's up to now..
Sometimes they're not great, but overall I know she memes well.
It was a hard habit to break.
It was so badly chewed I could hardly tell if it was 2B or not 2B
A bad habit
Vacuum cleaners have been gathering dirt on us for years.
It’s called “Force of Habit”
But I can stop any time
Because it's a habit.
You might say it's a habit.
I told her she can’t make a habit of talking like that.
Boy, was that nun mad!
I feel like it'll be more immersive, because it really puts u into the narrative.
I went off the rails
Habit of Force
I said, “Sorry, dear. Old habits die hard.”
But I don’t want to make it a habit.
Pulp fiction.
