He calls them his hypnotheses.
Pulp fiction.
...an ether/oar situation...
Hello. I'm Dr. Lance Boyle.
....Heinzsight is 20/20
She packed up her bags and right.
I'm not really a mourning person 😔
It really came out of the purple.
He was charged with helping the criminal get a weigh.
A Motörhead.
Soo.. a little background: my mother was about to visit for a walk outside the next day when this dialogue happened; also: my native language is german and i don't know if this very common in english as well, but my daughter calls my mother <stgm_at's-mother-first-name>-gramma. for the sake of this post let's assume her name is elizabeth.
so here goes...
(i enter the living room; wife & daughter sitting on the couch)
daughter: (in a moderately excited voice) hey dad, you know who's going to visit us tomorrow?
me: (acting as if i didn't know) don't know, who?
daughter: elizabeth-gramma.
me: huh, really, but do you know who is also going to visit us?
(daughter looks at me even more excited, there was defenitely a twinkle in her eye; wife looks at me sceptical)
daughter: don't know, who?
me: my mum.
(cue rolling eyes and groan from my wife and laughter from my daughter)
I hope the people who saw this have a wonderful day!
That’s right!
.... Everyone.
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad Me: I'm a faux pas
Is this a trick question?
Last month, a guy in Cincinnati stole a salt truck and led police on a 30 minute chase. (true story) At one point he tried to dump the load of salt on a police car. I told my teenage daughter this and she looked at me with a straight face and said “I guess they’re going to arrest him for assaulting an officer.” 😁
Never been prouder of my daughter. 😎
Nun!
It’s mail-dominated.
dammit, I’m not even allowed to mark this post as a spoiler
I guess I have to keep holding it.
Wait, is that even a good enough resolution? Idk
Everybody
They Tide!
It’s a gift.
Very Sketchy People
Her/she.
Everyone I looked at
Everybody
