You wooden have guessed it, but this platypus is very knotty.
Just because you guessed that I have a nickel and a penny in my pocket ...
... doesn't mean you have some sixth cents.
Guess they should read the bio next time
Before my surgery today, the anesthesiologist asked if I'd like to be knocked out with gas or he could just hit me over the head with a canoe paddle. So I guess it was...
...an ether/oar situation...
I guess you can see he has a lot of horsepower
They just don’t taste right!
I like the name Frodo,
It really has a ring to it.
I'm a real big fan of cars. I guess you could say I am..
What’s a 4 letter for a woman ending with “unt”?
I stole my girlfriend’s wheelchair, guess who came crawling back.
I hope the people who saw this have a wonderful day!
Guess the pun behind my wreath this year
If a baby is born on a plane, i guess you could call it... airborn
Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad
Me: I'm a faux pas
I was on a diabetes awareness website and it asked me if I accept cookies...
Is this a trick question?
I just went to get my glasses fixed and you’ll never guess who I ran into when I was there!
That’s right!
.... Everyone.
i guess the crowd wasn't orderly orderly orderly though
I guess the lion spotted a cheater
Oh damn guess I get to keep my tip
Why do women have a difficult time working for the postal service?
guess what my dad won’t let me put on my car?
dammit, I’m not even allowed to mark this post as a spoiler
As a woman who worked for the church this past year, guess how much sex I had?
My New Year’s Resolution this year is to stop second guessing everything.
Wait, is that even a good enough resolution? Idk
I guess it's time to answer the call of Nature..💩
There's a rumour going around about two waves racing to the beach. Can you guess which one won?
Hey guess what!
I’ll be seeing y’all next year
From my niece: What's the chicken's favorite place to get coffee?
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed...
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what is inside a wrapped present.
2018: « Yo, dude, get woke. » 2019: « C'me on, get woke, it's 2019 ! » 2020: «... Hi. Well you could get e-woke I guess. »
Guess who I bumped into on my way to the eye doctor!
You do realise that Vampires aren't real...
Unless you Count Dracula.
Guess where I keep all the lollipops?
We have a joke calendar and we missed this week, my wife was having me guess the answers and we ended up accidentally creating this gem: what do you call a cow that was just born?
Guys I guess October is...
What is a caterpillar's worst enemy?
A dogerpillar.
This was a joke from my first book of jokes I received on my 8th birthday. I felt it was appropriate on my cake day.
I've started a new band called "Blanket'
Why won’t triangles go on dates with circles?
I guess you could say cats was the cat-alyst
I guess I’m going to France
Because I have nothing Toulouse.
My brother had to quit his job as a weightlifter because he wasn't strong enough.
He handed in his too weak notice yesterday.
An anteater walks into a bar and the bartender asks, "Can I get you a drink?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "How about something to eat?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!" "What about some peanuts?" "Nooooooooooooooooooooo!"
Frazzled, the bartender cries, "What's with the long no's!?"
Oman! You’re about to read some terrible stuff.
“I live in Spain without the ‘s’”.
This inspired me to come up with some truly terrible country-related jokes.
It’s about to Bahrain jokes without the “Bah”.
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I have a double China without the “a”.
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Some people have told me that I look a lot like a German without the “an”.
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Oman, I think that one conspiracy about Israel Israel.
-
You all probably want to hit me with Japan without the “J”.
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You probably can’t Kuwait to stop reading these without the “Ku”.
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Nowadays, car companies are focusing on making electric cars, but I Madagascar.
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As you’ve probably guessed, I don’t even have one Nepal without the “Ne”.
All of these bad jokes made me Hungary so Iran to the nearest shop to get some food.
Why am I always India-r need of food?
I sincerely apologise, fellow people. These jokes probably left a painful Denmark on your souls without the “Den”, of course.
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed?
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