This isnβt just gross - itβs fucking fowl
π︎ 94
π
︎ Dec 31 2020
Woman to Butcher: People who sell meat are gross...
Butcher to Woman: People who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
Why should you never offer gross food to a Russian?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?
Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.
Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Apr 13 2021
I just finished Grosse Pointe Blank and now Iβm putting on Good Will Hunting.
Itβs a Minnie marathon.
π︎ 69
π
︎ Dec 02 2020
Selling porn is gross
but selling food and small household items is grocer.
π︎ 21
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
My kid asked "GROSS!! How can you fart so much!?!?"
I said, "That's just what happens when you become a dad... all of these paternal in stinks just start coming out!"
π︎ 20
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Roadkill is gross.
The person who runs a supermarket is grocer.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 02 2020
Accountant: what is your gross income?
My dad: there's no need to insult my income like that.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 16 2020
Last night in jail, they gave us mint chocolates for dessert. I thought they'd be be gross, but they were actually pretty good! Turns out...
...that in-prison mint isn't as bad as I expected!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 25 2020
It's cold and gross outside, but spring is just around the corner!
π︎ 407
π
︎ Feb 12 2019
My friend told me their new job pays $300k, before taxes.
I said, "that's just gross.."
π︎ 27
π
︎ Mar 26 2021
Captain Kirks wife has just opened a new lingerie shop.
Its called Shatner Knickers.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
The hotel room Iβm staying in is a gross place
π︎ 11
π
︎ Feb 10 2020
Gross
π︎ 703
π
︎ Nov 27 2017
My vegetarian daughter said that butchers are gross...
But I told her that people who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer
π︎ 383
π
︎ Jan 25 2018
Someone: "If you need 144 rolls of toilet paper for a 14 day quarantine you probably should've been seeing a doctor long before COVID-19"
My response: "144? That's a gross"
π︎ 14k
π
︎ Mar 16 2020
A sheep dog tells her owner she found all fifty sheep. Her owner says that there should only be 46
The dog says, βbut I rounded them up.β
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Mar 25 2020
My wife saw me sneezing in the bathroom and said it's gross.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
My annoying little brother asks me which bug grosses me out this ants or those ticks...
I replied I am really getting tired of your ant ticks.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
I saw tons of epic memers talking about how Shrek 5 will be grossing more than Endgame.
I can agree, how Shrek acts in the movies is really gross.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
Amazon is selling oysters on the half shell (144 per case). Thatβs just gross.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 09 2019
My son keeps all his boogers in a journal. He's up to 143.
I told him "One more and it'll be truly gross"
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 19 2021
A guy came in with 144 rotten eggs.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 26 2021
Whatβs the difference between a gross bus stop and a crab with large breasts?
Oneβs a crusty bus station and the other is a busty crustacean.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
What do you call the money your garbage business earns?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Coworker told me he was tired of people screwing up and βgross human incontinenceβ
π︎ 5
π
︎ Aug 30 2019
If you sign up for an economics class, you should bring some spoiled milk on the first day.
Theyβre a big fan of gross domestic products.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Vegans must think we meat eaters are gross.
In our defence, a person who sells vegetables is grocer.
π︎ 243
π
︎ Jan 22 2018
Spent all day rinsing several palates of damaged Coca-Cola cans at the food bank today. The stuff at the bottom was ... gross. At home mom asked what we did.
We sorted sorta sordid sodas.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 23 2019
I asked my sheepdog how many sheep we had, he said 40.
"What? We should only have 37!" I replied.
"I know" he said, "I rounded them up".
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
I just opened up a comedy club that serves gross pizza.
I'm calling it Chuckl E. Cheeses
π︎ 6
π
︎ Mar 15 2019
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before. What can I get for you?
"
"Pop," goes the weasel.
π︎ 9k
π
︎ Oct 31 2019
Vegans believe meat eaters and butchers are gross.
But those who sell you fruits and vegetables are grocer
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jan 21 2019
People who sell meat are gross.
But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
People who sell meat are gross.
But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 31 2021
People who sell meat are gross
But people who sell produce are grocer
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 28 2020
Vegan son : People who sell meat are gross
dad: people who sell fruits/vegetables are grocer
π︎ 49
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
People who sell meat are gross
But people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 13 2020
Vegan Son: People who sell Meat are gross
Dad: People who sell Fruits and Vegetables are Grocer
π︎ 19
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
People who sell meat are gross....
People who sell veg are grocer.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Sep 10 2020
While people who sell meat can be gross...
People who sell fruit and vegetables are grocer.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 27 2020
This is just gross.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
I asked dad if sneezing in public is gross.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 16 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.