What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe, damn it! Breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 13k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Ever wonder what happened to the Jolly Green Giant?

He's kind of a has-bean.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
🚨︎ report
Fun fact: that's a sub green crayon
πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/qwk_drw_mcgrw
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green, has 4 legs, and could kill you if it fell out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 234
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2020
🚨︎ report
If a gardener has green fingers what does a hacker have?

Cryptoes

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meerkat6074
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
🚨︎ report
Whats green and fuzzy and would kill you if it jumped on you from a tree?

A snooker table

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kimenon001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
🚨︎ report
What is green and lurks through the peephole?

A spynach

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2021
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What do you call a spicy green dish made on Sesame Street in India?

Curry the frog.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the Red light say to the Green light?

Don't look at me I'm changing!

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/red_snake0329
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery?

because It didn't habenero . .

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/drewzee0109
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I started reading this great book about the relationship between military battles and green vegetables.

It’s called War and Peas.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calm_Fan_381
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife left me because I made too many Green Day references

Do you have the time to listen to me whine

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hud_is_on
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Not many fans are allowed in the stadium for Green Bay’s game today. It will be like

Silence of the Lambeau

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/afarro
πŸ“…︎ Jan 24 2021
🚨︎ report
The Green Landon.
πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2020
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What is the fruit that is green on the outside and red with black seeds on the inside, the name start with an H

Half a watermelon

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe grandpa, or they will have to put you in the box! (Raisin joke on top)

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoyUnMalaleche
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green and smells like red paint?

Green paint

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kascuzzle
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2021
🚨︎ report
Why was the color green always single?

It was always so jaded.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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This is how you make neon geen.
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bloodywolfeyes
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I accidentally ate some food coloring today.

The doctor says I’m fine but I feel like I dyed a little inside.

πŸ‘︎ 308
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cryvee
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green with wheels?

Grass. I lied about the wheels.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/s4m_full3r
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
My favorite colors are red, green, and blue.

They are the only colors I see.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
🚨︎ report
Someone offered me a nice cup of green tea

So naturally I said yes, matcha-bliged

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigolbrian
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Marxist only drink green tea?

Because all proper tea is theft!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/adidassamba
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Did anyone wake up Green Day?

Hi, I was specifically requested on this day, October 1st, to wake up Green Day. Did anyone wake up Green Day?

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Solace_sys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the mischievous green onion that sang hip hop?

He was a real rapscallion.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TrefoilHat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
The hardware store just told me they didn’t have any intermediate paint colors between green and violet.

That was out of the blue.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s green and doesn’t weigh much?

Light green

πŸ‘︎ 240
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Introducing the new rhyme speaking Green Onion with the super tight back beat! Please welcome the one! The only---

Rapscallion!

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slowshot
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Green Giant lay down in the field?

So he could Rest in Peas.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OilPhilter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
🚨︎ report
What is big, green and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A snooker table

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RACOON_IN_MY_ASS
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATH!!

Edit: breathe..dammit

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

"Breathe damn it, breathe!"

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 09 2021
🚨︎ report
What's green and will kill you if it falls out of a tree

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/buckarooBanzii
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE! JUST BREATHE!

πŸ‘︎ 67
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoyUnMalaleche
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

BREATHE, YOU IDIOT!! BREATHE!!!!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theroutesetters
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green and fuzzy and if it falls out of a tree on you, it will kill you?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 268
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πŸ‘€︎ u/onetwopi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
What's green, fuzzy, has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?

A pool table!

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
🚨︎ report
What is green and not very heavy?

Light Green

πŸ‘︎ 70
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape

Breathe idiot, breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 9k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Whats green has 6 legs and if it fell out of a tree on top of you it would kill you.

A snooker table!

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the green pepper practice archery

Because it didn't habanero

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kingbob1500
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the green grape say to the purple grape?

Breathe!

πŸ‘︎ 49
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s big, green, fuzzy, has four legs, and will kill you if it falls on you out of a tree?

A pool table.

πŸ‘︎ 131
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaneKerman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Why couldn't the Green Pepper practice Archery?

because it didn't habanero

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/behrkon
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2020
🚨︎ report

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