I'm colorblind, heck
A traveling mouse.
A mouse going on a vacation
Because they make nice gray-V's.
“...don’t go with anything.”
My dad never makes “dad jokes” but, he actually said this yesterday and I’m so proud.
An irrelephant.
Light Gray
She thought she would dye.
T.S. Elephant
Even the spelling is a graey area...
*Removed from showerthoughts for being too much of a dad joke, so here we are.
Voting third party is a waste.
Fortunately, they never get old.
It’s called 50 shades of gray
If they were small, white, and smooth they would be aspirin.
Light grey.
It is in my head but I can't explain.
Never gets old.
Because if they were tiny, smooth and white, they'd be TicTacs.
Dick gray, son!
Unfortunately, it just made the world cold and gray...
That’s when I finally realized I’m colorblind
“I don’t know man, you look kinda gray to me.”
They told me it was a gray area.
You get it from your kids.
Because it's a gray area
It usually took him about a minute to tell this joke because he would start laughing every time.
What did the man say when he saw a herd of elephants coming? Here come the elephants.
What did the man say when he saw a herd of elephants coming with bags on their heads? Nothing. He didn't recognize them.
Do you have any Gray PoopOn ?
He ran a gray light
The context here is a discussion on encryption on a data storage medium. The kid here is a new guy who is fresh from grad school. The dad here is a senior engineer who looks like middle aged Gordon Freeman with graying hair. The kid was asking questions on how to erase data securely using a particular protocol command. He wanted more information on the random number keys necessary to encrypt/decrypt the data with. It went some thing like this.
Kid: " So you have A key, right ?"
Dad with a sly smile on his face immediately checks his pocket and whips out his car keys and says " No, I have many keys "
it'll still be stationery.
If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
Did you hear about the crossed-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.
When chemists die, they barium.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went, and then it dawned on me.
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool .
Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.
This girl today said she recognized me from the Vegetarians Club, but I'd swear I've never met herbivore
I know a guy who's addicted to drinking brake fluid, but he says he can stop any time.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A. I got some batteries that were given out free of charge.
A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
A will is a dead giveaway.
With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He's all right now.
A bicycle can't stand alone; it's just two tired.
The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine last week is now fully recovered. He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.
When she saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Acupuncture is a jab well done. That's the point of it.
Those who get too big for their pants will be totally exposed in the ends.
50 Shades Of Gray
(Sorry if this is a repost)
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That was the gray area of dad jokes.
Just got back from shopping for new work clothes with my girlfriend. She picked out two button-down shirts for me to consider. The first was a blue-green color. I told her it wouldn't work because it doesn't match most of my ties.
The second shirt was solid gray. "You could wear a lot of your ties with this color," she said.
"True," I said. "But wearing more than one would look kind of silly."
A mouse going on vacation.
An irr- elephant.
Never gets old
