I want to push you around, yeah I will. I want to push you down, yeah I will. I want to take you for granite, yeah yeah yeah...
Rob Thomas volunteers to help the wheel chair bound elderly remodel their kitchen.
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︎ Feb 22 2021
My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just canβt afford granite right now.
I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.
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︎ Dec 13 2020
I told my wife that I would never take her for granite.
Though, I probably would for marble.
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︎ Sep 20 2020
Taking Things 4 Granite
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︎ Oct 05 2020
A group of leprechauns was recently busted for selling fake granite
Yeah, they were sham rocks.
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︎ Jul 17 2020
Why are geologists always grumpy?
Because people take their work for granite.
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︎ Feb 26 2021
Donβt take this igneous sediment for Granite
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︎ Oct 31 2019
Why did the geologistβs wife divorce him?
Because he took her for granite π
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︎ Feb 03 2021
My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...
But it was his own dumb asphalt...
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︎ Jul 24 2020
I installed the granite in the kitchen all by myself.
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︎ Jan 10 2020
My neighbour has had 45 concussions in the past few weeks.
He lives just a stone throw away.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Geologists often take things for granite.
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︎ Jul 01 2019
My dad can't stop talking about getting granite tiles for our flooring
Probably because he has lost his marble(s).
π︎ 10
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︎ Sep 13 2019
After he installs the new granite surfaces in your kitchen, does the Cabinet Maker hand you
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︎ Jun 11 2017
You shouldnβt take things for Granite, because nothing is set in stone
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 19 2018
I take my countertops for granite -raccooneggs
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 01 2019
Ya know guys, today is a gneiss day, donβt take it for granite.
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 30 2019
Our countertops are made of cement, but I always took it for granite.
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︎ Sep 08 2019
One word of wisdom my father gave me about trading countertops:
Never take quartz for granite.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
There are just some signs in life you should take for Granite
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︎ Jan 10 2019
What? You don't like geology?
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︎ Oct 07 2020
When more & more people say βyouβre my rockβ....
You start feeling like gravel.
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︎ Nov 07 2020
Why did the limestone leave her husband?
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︎ Oct 18 2020
My wife and I were stuck behind a van advertising granite countertops.
Wife: Those look good. I'd kill to have our counters redone.
Me: Sure...but then you'd be taking life for granite.
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︎ Sep 12 2016
What would you call the sun if it was made of granite and heavy metals?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jan 13 2019
If we used igneous rock as currency weβd take everything for granite.
π︎ 14
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︎ Oct 12 2018
These headstones are not to be taken for granite
π︎ 16
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︎ Oct 30 2017
I feel bad for pet rocks sometimes....
Why do people take rocks for granited?
I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.
π︎ 4
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︎ Dec 21 2020
Just found out my childhood house had marble countertops.
This whole time I took them for granite.
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︎ Oct 03 2020
Son, I love you, and I think you rock
But I promise I will never take you for Granite again
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︎ Oct 13 2020
Just want you to know... I can see that you've been under a lot of pressure for a while now. But you are a rock, and I don't take you for granite.
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 02 2018
Why wasn't the rock allowed into the party?
He wasn't "granite" permission.
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 19 2020
A man that we all take for granite
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︎ May 03 2013
I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble.
I have been taking it for granite all these years.
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π
︎ Jun 20 2020
My wife left me because we have a rocky relationship.
I guess I took her for granite.
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Its hard as a rock being a dad.
Always taken for granite.
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︎ Oct 25 2020
I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...
Sometimes they take this schist for granite.
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︎ Aug 08 2020
Why did The Rock break up with his girlfriend?
Because she took him for granite.
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︎ May 25 2020
My wife insists that I go with her whenever she shops for igneous rock containing quartz and feldspar.
Sometimes I think she takes me for granite.
π︎ 27
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︎ Jun 29 2020
Why do mountains feel unappreciated?
People take them for granite.
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︎ Aug 14 2020
Granite Branch
So my friend got a job managing a branch for a granite company.
And whilst telling my father he dadjoked me pretty hard.
Me: Ya he is managing a granite branch or something.
Dad: Well then, I was not aware that granite grew on trees...
Needless to say i wasn't expecting it.
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︎ Aug 17 2014
Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?
He was taken for granite.
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︎ Jul 20 2020
This was at universals mythos and the food was amazing
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︎ Aug 11 2019
My buddy just installed a new counter top
I just hope he doesnβt take it for granite
π︎ 13
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︎ Mar 14 2020
I feel bad for geologists,
People always take them for granite.
And I feel bad for tortillas too,
They always get a bad wrap.
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︎ Jun 08 2020
For the past few weekends my wife has done nothing but drag me around to look at expensive new countertops
I'm tired of being taken for granite
π︎ 2
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︎ Jun 21 2020
Stoner joke
If you wish for your genie to turn into a rock, they have to granite!
π︎ 3
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︎ Apr 29 2020
Geologists are always so thankful
They take nothing for granite.
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︎ Nov 06 2020
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