If we used igneous rock as currency we’d take everything for granite.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/e_pilot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2018
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Just want you to know... I can see that you've been under a lot of pressure for a while now. But you are a rock, and I don't take you for granite.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...

But it was his own dumb asphalt...

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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What? You don't like geology?

Well, Upper Jurassic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
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I feel bad for pet rocks sometimes....

Why do people take rocks for granited?

I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whoisapotato
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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Hiking with my dad while growing up in Texas. Every time.

Tapping on a rock one of us is resting on or using to tie a shoelace, "You know, some people take this stuff for granite."

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunnysaurus_Rex
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2015
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I think I'm going to open a store that sells rocks...

When we have special promotions, I can make a commercial on the radio that says "don't take this shale for granite!"

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mkay1911
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2016
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Stoner joke

If you wish for your genie to turn into a rock, they have to granite!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Help! I need rock jokes!

Seriously, I need rock jokes lol.

I am a children's librarian and I am working on putting together a performance for the summer programming. The theme for our Summer Reading Program is "Libraries Rock." So for my program I am going to need lots of cheesy rock jokes to keep the kids laughing and I thought this would be the absolute best place to get some ideas. Thanks ahead of time - you guys rock ;)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SuperSlushE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2018
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My wife and I were stuck behind a van advertising granite countertops.

Wife: Those look good. I'd kill to have our counters redone.

Me: Sure...but then you'd be taking life for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VictoriousBadger
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2016
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I work in a formica factory...

Everyone says I am counter-productive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHobbitPimp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2016
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The Blitz of Puns

It really grinds my gears when people say stick-shift is obsolete.

Most people like their music bass-boosted, but it seems like too much treble.

When an astronaut drinks tea, he takes a big space-sip.

The best electricity puns are live wires. Coppers really don’t know how to resist these in a coil. If you make enough of this type of pun you can really blow their fuses. You need to be smart about how you conduct these so you don’t overload your capacitors.

The only kind of rap I like is the wrapping paper on gifts.

Scissors always cut to the point.

Airplane puns always fly overhead. You have to be careful so you don’t stall out. Always use better judgement so you nose how to dive. When used correctly, this pun classification can really propel to infinity and beyond. However, if misused, the fall from grace is full of turbulence.

When working with electricity puns always make sure to be grounded to prevent shocking results.

Mr. Tea says, ”Don’t be a fool, stay in school!”

i c e i c e w a t e r

Architecture is an aspiring career path.

β€˜Pun’ puns don’t add up. The are starting to get negative receptions.

I’ll do algebra. I’ll even do calculus. But graphing is where I draw the line.

Plants should always rooted in the ground.

Never argue with people when they are right or nobody will be left hanging out with you.

Rocks make boulder moves. This means they are pelite and not jagged. Don’t take these puns for granite.

Cheese puns are grate because you don’t have to ask for parmesan to use them.

Eskimos have cold personality. It is an ice society, but some of their history chills my spine.

My dog died a few years ago. It was really ruff.

I am not a fan of wind turbines.

Life is like driftwood. You never know where you will float.

Christmas lights stick together. When one goes out, they all do.

Puns about communism are only funny if everyone gets them.

Rocket scientists cannot fuel around or something bad can happen.

A baker is someone who kneads to make baked goods.

I sometimes wear stripes to avoid being spotted.

Sponges are great at absorbing liquids.

Contrary to the name, relationships have nothing to do with boats.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zmanofdoom95
πŸ“…︎ May 16 2019
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Help: geology-themed puns needed.

My sister teaches at a high school for children with learning and behavior disorders, and every year she hosts a skills summer camp.

2015 will be geology-themed, and we need help thinking of a fun name for the camp.

Previous years: 2014 Summer Scenarios: Little Egypt (Egyptian themed) 2013 Summer Scenarios (first year had no kitchy name, but it was zombie-themed)

Potential examples: Stone Throne, Rock Steady, Taken for Granite, etc.

During the live-in camp (boarding school), they'll learn survival/outdoorsmanship skills (fire starting, gardening, canoeing, etc.), and have geologists as guest speakers.

Any high school learning-friendly geology-themed blockbusters would be welcome suggestions, too--but I'll post that for the people over at /r/movies.

Thanks in advance!

Edit: Thanks to everyone who actually gave appropriate suggestions, and high-fives to those who just made rock puns. My sister selected Game of Stones.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/allthedoll
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2014
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A modern man tries to take a women from the Stone Age on a date.

She wanted to go see a rock and roll concert but since he was cheap he took her for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RaiRules
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2018
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