My wife was fighting me about doing our kitchen in granite or laminate. She finally told me that we just can’t afford granite right now.

I have to admit... it was a pretty good counter argument.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 32
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnInfluentialFigure
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 13 2020
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I told my wife that I would never take her for granite.

Though, I probably would for marble.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jhench78
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 20 2020
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Taking Things 4 Granite
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/5LYNG3R
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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A group of leprechauns was recently busted for selling fake granite

Yeah, they were sham rocks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 42
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zamoose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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My neighbour has had 45 concussions in the past few weeks.

He lives just a stone throw away.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2021
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Why did the geologist’s wife divorce him?

Because he took her for granite 😁

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JPHFanEdits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 03 2021
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My neighbor blamed my gravel for making him fall...

But it was his own dumb asphalt...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 24 2020
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Don’t take this igneous sediment for Granite
πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kuma_Paws_376
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 31 2019
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I installed the granite in the kitchen all by myself.

It was counterproductive

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2020
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Geologists often take things for granite.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pwndabeer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2019
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My dad can't stop talking about getting granite tiles for our flooring

Probably because he has lost his marble(s).

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/floorballouis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 13 2019
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When more & more people say β€œyou’re my rock”....

You start feeling like gravel.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FirBal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 07 2020
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What? You don't like geology?

Well, Upper Jurassic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 07 2020
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Why did the limestone leave her husband?

He took her for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wimple007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 18 2020
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I take my countertops for granite -raccooneggs
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sket-warrior
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2019
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You shouldn’t take things for Granite, because nothing is set in stone
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Pasta-hobo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 19 2018
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After he installs the new granite surfaces in your kitchen, does the Cabinet Maker hand you

a counter fit bill?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/slowshot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2017
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I feel bad for pet rocks sometimes....

Why do people take rocks for granited?

I just hope mine doesn't dieorite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whoisapotato
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 21 2020
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Our countertops are made of cement, but I always took it for granite.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DinglebarryHandpump
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2019
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Ya know guys, today is a gneiss day, don’t take it for granite.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rhobbs62
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 30 2019
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There are just some signs in life you should take for Granite
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HumanGyroscope
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2019
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Son, I love you, and I think you rock

But I promise I will never take you for Granite again

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/M0ral_Supp0rt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2020
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Just found out my childhood house had marble countertops.

This whole time I took them for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Formaldefortress
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2020
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Why wasn't the rock allowed into the party?

He wasn't "granite" permission.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Frogstomp420
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2020
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Geologists are always so thankful

They take nothing for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TTVMixmix00
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 06 2020
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What would you call the sun if it was made of granite and heavy metals?

A rock star...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/code_engine
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2019
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If we used igneous rock as currency we’d take everything for granite.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/e_pilot
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2018
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My wife and I were stuck behind a van advertising granite countertops.

Wife: Those look good. I'd kill to have our counters redone.

Me: Sure...but then you'd be taking life for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 234
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VictoriousBadger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 12 2016
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My wife left me because we have a rocky relationship.

I guess I took her for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RevSquirrel
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2020
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Its hard as a rock being a dad.

Always taken for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JamesStrangsGhost
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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These headstones are not to be taken for granite
πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Arionhawk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 30 2017
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I just realized my kitchen countertop is made out of marble.

I have been taking it for granite all these years.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 285
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 20 2020
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I'm bothered by lazy geologists who don't take the time to correctly identify rocks...

Sometimes they take this schist for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mkrjoe
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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Just want you to know... I can see that you've been under a lot of pressure for a while now. But you are a rock, and I don't take you for granite.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SandJA1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 02 2018
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Why did The Rock break up with his girlfriend?

Because she took him for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 134
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saltyquill
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 25 2020
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A man that we all take for granite
πŸ‘οΈŽ 73
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Coolkittiez
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 03 2013
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Why do mountains feel unappreciated?

People take them for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cheelay_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 14 2020
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My wife insists that I go with her whenever she shops for igneous rock containing quartz and feldspar.

Sometimes I think she takes me for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AlRedux
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 29 2020
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Why did the stone mason break up with the con artist?

He was taken for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2020
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Granite Branch

So my friend got a job managing a branch for a granite company. And whilst telling my father he dadjoked me pretty hard.

Me: Ya he is managing a granite branch or something.

Dad: Well then, I was not aware that granite grew on trees...

Needless to say i wasn't expecting it.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheAllMightyGulb
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2014
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I feel bad for geologists,

People always take them for granite. And I feel bad for tortillas too, They always get a bad wrap.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/chickenwaffleman
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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For the past few weekends my wife has done nothing but drag me around to look at expensive new countertops

I'm tired of being taken for granite

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zembacraftworks
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2020
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My buddy just installed a new counter top

I just hope he doesn’t take it for granite

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bradb717
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 14 2020
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This was at universals mythos and the food was amazing
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/sharkzarecool
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2019
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Stoner joke

If you wish for your genie to turn into a rock, they have to granite!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CorbanzoBean69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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Did you hear the one about the stone mason who was married to a con artist?

She took him for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/billbixbyakahulk
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 17 2020
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When offered three wishes, the man told the genie β€œI don’t know - maybe some new countertops?”

To which the Genie replied, β€œYour wish is granite.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tigreye007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2020
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Wanna hear a joke about a stone?

Nevermind, I'll just skip that one.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/firkin_slang_whanger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 16 2019
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Limestone is a great rock.

Don’t take it for granite.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/owolff
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 16 2020
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