Great mines think alike.
But to me, March 14th will always be cake day.
E: wow this blew up, number #2 all time on dad jokes! Thanks for all the metal, can't wait to make it rain on other redditors.
I was working with the 4 yearolds with one of my supervisors. We we're building puzzles when one of the kids walks up to my supervisor.
Kid 1: (Insert supervisor name), I'm thirsty.
Supervisor: Hello Thirsty.
Kid 2: No I think he wants a drink from the water fountain.
Supervisor: Oh is that what Thirsty wants?
Kid 2: Yeah.
Supervisor: Ok go get a drink Thirsty.
I'm with my dad watching a horror flick when a scene comes on where a woman gets drilled in the head. Me: Oh man that was crazy! Dad: Yeah, she really got screwed! Chuckles ensued.
but she did migrate to California in 1849.
a friend of mine owns a cafe and is starting to sell homemade Chorizo sandwiches, need a good pun to write on a sign at front of shop, thought I'd turn to the creative minds of r/puns for help! winner gets a month of gold go go go!
Me: seems appropriate for you and yours: http://www.reddit.com/r/dadjokes/comments/32gzy7/what_was_the_secret_to_the_miners_success/ Her: That’s a dynamite answer! Me: I noticed the explosion of laughter over there Her: Rock on! Me: gold-standard of jokes here Her: so precious Me: digging deep on that one Her: pickin away one at a time Me: we have definitely hit the pay dirt of mining puns Her: definite Honey Hole here! Me: not sure that joke bee-longs here Her: you are a total BUZZZZZZ kill Me: comb on it wasn’t that bad
Years ago I used to use a LexisNexis database of companies that would give corporate information like name, address, and general business description. While most of them were pretty bland, there were a bunch of them with some really cheesy puns, and over a few years I built quite a collection.
Today I share with you "NEXIS IS RIDICULOUS.txt":
- Bucyrus International caters to those who mine their own business.
- It would be logical for Mr. Spock to boldly go to Vulcan International for rubber products. He might even live long and prosper -- in comfortable shoes.
- What do manufacturer Electro-Motive Diesel (EMD) and 1970s band Grand Funk Railroad have in common? They both want you to do the locomotion!
- Peter Piper can pick more than a peck of peppers or pickles from B&G Foods.
- Toray Plastics America could sing "foam, foam on the range, where the polyester and polypropylene materials are made" all day.
- Break out the Tums, because things are awfully gassy over at Air Liquide America.
- If a tree falls in a Weyerhaeuser forest, someone is there to hear it -- and he has a chainsaw.
- Although not a pushover, you can walk all over Wilsonart International.
- Here's a HEICO haiku: HEICO companies/ Providing for jet engines/ In flight or on land.
- American Italian Pasta Company (AIPC) uses its noodle in many different ways.
- The golf industry doesn't mind when Aldila gives it the shaft.
- Rat-a-tat-tat and a ringa-ding-ding. What's that? Answer: The sounds emanating from Pearl, one of the world's foremost makers of drums and other percussion and musical instruments.
- Saint-Gobain Ceramics & Plastics deals powders and crystal, but there's no need to call the cops.
- Pamida Stores Operating Company offers more small-town values than a bandwagon of Republicans on the campaign trail.
- Like a tight end, offshore drilling contractor Transocean dreams of going deep but doesn't mind eating a little mud.
- Rittal me this, Batman!
- Utility Trailer Manufacturing is spreading its own brand of reefer madness.
- Who is the Fresh Prince of Sullair?
- If GrafTech International were a bard, it could wax poetic in an ode to the electrode.
- When it comes to adhesives and vibration control products, LORD knows.
- You might say that Deere & Company enjoys its customers going to seed.
- Pfizer pfabricates pfarmaceuticals pfor quite a pfew inpfirmities.
- Stripping is OK at Spraylat.
- Don't think Seton is
Here are a few of my peanut gallery comments to pass the time....
"I'm going to open my own wedding dress store. It's going to be called 'The Tulle Shop'".
"TLC is coming out with a new show that's about buying underwear. It's called 'Say Ja To The Bra'".
"What type of wedding dress did the future wife of the New York Yankee buy? A ball gown."
Indian-themed weddings are also a gold mine because of the "sari" dress. Too many to list here. Stuff along the lines of "I feel sari she has to pick between those two dresses". "She'll be sari if she doesn't pick that dress."....the list goes on and on...
