Hi.

 

For some unknown reason I made it a goal when I moved here 3.5 years ago that I wanted to visit 100 coffeeshops. I've been keeping track of them in a spreadsheet, and finally hit #100 today. So here they are:

 

You can find the current list of flairs available below. If you don't see the flair you want on the list you can put in a request. For a new flair to be added it needs to meet the following requirements:

• The team must be a real current or former American/Canadian team
• The team must receive at least 3 unique requests.

###MLS

• MLS
• Atlanta United
• Austin FC
• CF Montreal
• Charlotte FC
• Chicago Fire
• Colorado Rapids
• Columbus Crew
• DC United
• FC Cincinnati
• FC Dallas
• Houston Dynamo
• Inter Miami
• LA Galaxy
• LAFC
• Minnesota United
• Nashville SC
• New England Revolution
• NYCFC
• NYRB
• Orlando City
• Philadelphia Union
• Portland Timbers
• Real Salt Lake
• Sacramento Republic MLS
• Saint Louis SC
• San Jose Earthquakes
• Seattle Sounders
• Sporting KC
• Toronto FC
• Vancouver Whitecaps

###CPL

• CPL
• Atletico Ottawa
• Cavalry FC
• FC Edmonton
• Forge FC
• Halifax Wanderers
• Pacific FC
• Valour FC
• York United

###NWSL

• NWSL
• Angel City FC
• Chicago Red Stars
• Houston Dash
• Kansas City
• NJ/NY Gotham FM
• North Carolina Courage
• OL Reign
• Orlando Pride
• Portland Thorns
• Racing Louisville
• San Diego Wave
• Washington Spirit

###USL Championship

• USL Championship
• Atlanta United II
• Austin Bold
• Birmingham Legion
• Charleston Battery
• Colorado Springs Switchbacks
• Detroit City
• El Paso Locomotive
• FC Tulsa
• Hartford Athletic
• Indy Eleven
• LA Galaxy II
• Las Vegas Lights
• Loudon United
• Louisville City
• Memphis 901
• Miami FC
• Monterey Bay FC
• New Mexico United
• New York Red Bulls II
• Oakland Roots
• OKC Energy
• Orange County SC
• Phoenix Rising
• Pittsburgh Riverhounds
• Queensboro FC
• Real Monarchs
• RGV Toros
• Sacramento Republic
• San Antonio FC
• San Di

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

The nurse asked the rabbit, “what is your blood type?”

“I am probably a type O” said the rabbit.

Mentos

(I will see myself out)

The doctor says it terminal.

Alot of great jokes get posted here! However just because you have a joke, doesn't mean it's a dad joke.

THIS IS NOT ABOUT NSFW, THIS IS ABOUT LONG JOKES, BLONDE JOKES, SEXUAL JOKES, KNOCK KNOCK JOKES, POLITICAL JOKES, ETC BEING POSTED IN A DAD JOKE SUB

Try telling these sexual jokes that get posted here, to your kid and see how your spouse likes it.. if that goes well, Try telling one of your friends kid about your sex life being like Coca cola, first it was normal, than light and now zero , and see if the parents are OK with you telling their kid the "dad joke"

I'm not even referencing the NSFW, I'm saying Dad jokes are corny, and sometimes painful, not sexual

So check out r/jokes for all types of jokes

r/unclejokes for dirty jokes

r/3amjokes for real weird and alot of OC

r/cleandadjokes If your really sick of seeing not dad jokes in r/dadjokes

Punchline !

Edit: this is not a post about NSFW , This is about jokes, knock knock jokes, blonde jokes, political jokes etc being posted in a dad joke sub

Edit 2: don't touch the thermostat

Do your worst!

How the hell am I suppose to know when it’s raining in Sweden?

Mathematical puns makes me number

We told her she can lean on us for support. Although, we are going to have to change her driver's license, her height is going down by a foot. I don't want to go too far out on a limb here but it better not be a hack job.

Ants don’t even have the concept fathers, let alone a good dad joke. Keep r/ants out of my r/dadjokes.

But no, seriously. I understand rule 7 is great to have intelligent discussion, but sometimes it feels like 1 in 10 posts here is someone getting upset about the jokes on this sub. Let the mods deal with it, they regulate the sub.

They were cooked in Greece.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

He lost May

Now that I listen to albums, I hardly ever leave the house.

Said if she ever hosts a gender reveal party, when it comes time to pop the balloon she'll spray everyone with water.

Gender is fluid.

Don't you know a good pun is its own reword?

Two muffins are in an oven, one muffin looks at the other and says "is it just me, or is it hot in here?"

Then the other muffin says "AHH, TALKING MUFFIN!!!"

But let me give it a shot.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

He’s the new temp.

It really does, I swear!

And now I’m cannelloni

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

But that’s comparing apples to oranges

And boy are my arms legs.

Amy

Put it on my bill

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me that my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

A play on words.

TL;DR

Made all-time hometown rosters with original 30 NBA teams + 25 new teams to split populated areas and big teams (spreadsheet + map)

Player Pool and Team Pool

I used the top 969 players who have at least 10000 minutes played in their career.

Why 10000 minutes played? Because that's the lower standard set by Basketball-Reference to get on their ABA career leaderboard (15000 MP for NBA). I added George Mikan, because even though he hasn't played enough minutes, he's featured in All-Time ESPN NBARank and Bill Simmons Hall of Fame Pyramid.

I started off with the current 30 teams. To split up the Lakers and Clippers, I gave the Clippers their proposed Inglewood site.

As I looked at the map of player hometowns, I realized that there were:

• some areas that had a lot of players, but few close NBA teams
• some areas that had bloated rosters with too many players

Based off city population and arena size, I added 25 new teams.

• I obviously had to give Seattle their team back
• Birmingham, North Little Rock and Shreveport helped to split up the South
• Pittsburgh and St. Louis were big cities without teams
• Berkeley added to siphon off San Francisco
  • if I add Oakland, it takes away too many players
• Anaheim and Westwood added in Southern California (Clippers & Lakers)
• Winston-Salem and Raleigh to pare down Charlotte
• Lansing to prune Detroit
• 2nd Atlanta team in suburb of College Park
• 2nd Washington team and Baltimore
• 2 more teams in Chicago (Rosemont and South Side) + a team in Gary
• 2nd Indiana team + Louisville & Lexington
• 2nd Philadelphia team in suburb of Wynnewood
• 3 more teams in the New York Area (Newark, Queens and Long Island)

The Method

I started off gathering hometowns due to this fantastic database by Reuben Fischer-Baum ([original article source here](https://deadspin.com/infographics-where-do-pro-basketball-players-come-from-5132615