As the cop knocked on my door, I just stayed in complete silence. He then knocked again. Determined not to give myself away, I just stayed still.
Cop: "Do you think I am stupid ? I can see you through the window."
Mee: "You are not coming in."
Cop: "I don't want to come in. I want you to step out of your car !!"
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 13 2021
I was trying to give away a bunch of those little bugs that make honey.
But nobody wanted my freebies.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 22 2021
My church gives away pointy flags to those who ask forgiveness from a priest...
You should go there if you seek pennants.
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 11 2021
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries
π︎ 25
π
︎ Nov 04 2020
What food should you never give to two fiancΓ©es who ran away from home together?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
Why do atheists give away all their spare money ?
They're a non-prophet organization
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
I was trying to give away bread for Shabbat, but all the Jews kept getting mad at me.
All I said was there's no challah cost.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
I told my friend to give me a sharpie to write a joke on his face, I threw it away...
he asked why? I said "Your face is a joke"
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 24 2020
What do you call someone who gives away free herbs?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jan 31 2020
It's no wonder women love chocolate so much. Their pronouns give it away.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 07 2019
Why did the dyslexic give away all his furniture?
He wanted to be chairtable.
π︎ 10
π
︎ May 21 2019
Why did a man give away all of his books
Because he was..
Shelf-less
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 05 2019
Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper used to give away copies of horror films starring Blake Lively...
But they're out of "The Shallows" now
π︎ 2
π
︎ Mar 04 2019
I've decided to give away my set of Encyclopedia Britannica.
My wife knows everything.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 23 2019
Why did the dad give away every stool in his house?
Because he was donating them to
chair-ity.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 22 2018
What do you call a tornado that gives things instead of taking them away?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 16 2018
Picking Strawberries to give away can be a fruitful endeavour! No punnet tendered.
π︎ 22
π
︎ Mar 13 2015
From a friend: Krispy Kreme is giving away free donuts if youβre vaccinated.
Why not a cough-fee instead?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 25 2021
Iβm giving away a pair of gloves that donβt fit me anymore.
Can somebody come take them off my hands?
π︎ 46
π
︎ Mar 20 2021
The Doc is giving away treatments to remove boils at no cost
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 16 2021
Rick Astley doesn't mind giving away his Disney movies collection...
But he's still never gonna give you Up. Especially remastered in 4k.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 18 2021
Today, in a cultural fair, I found someone was giving away free balloons to children
π︎ 10
π
︎ Feb 13 2021
A local supermarket was giving away 100% free face masks
But there were no strings attached.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Aug 26 2020
I passed a guy giving away watches on the street.
He must have a lot of free time on his hands.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
A Korean martial artist was giving away chocolate bars. I asked if I could have 2. He said...
"No. You can taek-won-do."
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jul 29 2020
I just learned that they're giving away soda in the Swiss mountains.
Apparently there's a guy up there just shouting, "Freeeee Colaaaaa"
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
The local humane society is giving away male geese for free.
I might go take a gander.
π︎ 153
π
︎ Mar 08 2020
I am giving my chimney away for free...
You can say it's on the house.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Jun 05 2018
I keep giving away furniture to the poor
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 17 2019
I'm thinking about giving away my theremin.
I haven't really touched it in years.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 18 2019
My kid damaged my new IPhone 11 so Iβm giving it away.
He is 3 years old, blonde, and has black eyes.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 29 2019
Got bamboozled by a guy giving away batteries.
Or maybe not? After all, he did say they were free of charge.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Aug 16 2019
Giving away my old car battery.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 01 2019
I heard the store was giving away dead batteries.
Apparently they're free of charge.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Mar 18 2019
My company raffle was giving away a sea mammal as a prize.
I didn't get the porpoise.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 11 2019
My store is giving away a first aid bag with the purchase of 3 health items.
The health items arenβt much, but the bag is a big plus!
π︎ 34
π
︎ Jul 01 2018
A man is walking down the street
when he notices a hot, busty woman on the sidewalk. He approaches her and says, "I'll give you a thousand dollars if you let me bite your nipples." Naturally the woman was reluctant, but concluding that she really needed the money, she agreed. So they go into an alley, she lifts up her shirt and unhooks her bra. He proceeds to bury his face in her breasts, moving and shaking his head. After a full minute of this, she says, "Well? Aren't you going to bite them?" He walks away, saying, "Nah... that's too expensive."
π︎ 4
π
︎ Feb 28 2021
I'm giving away all of my childhood toys to my newborn son...
...passing on the lego-cy.
π︎ 59
π
︎ Apr 18 2016
I've decided to give my collection of used batteries away...
π︎ 297
π
︎ Feb 17 2017
My neighbor was giving away batteries
They were free of charge.
π︎ 51
π
︎ Aug 11 2020
I've been giving away dead batteries
π︎ 2
π
︎ Feb 06 2020
Did you hear about the store giving away empty batteries? They were free of charge?
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 08 2019
I'm giving my chimney away for free.
You can say it's on the house
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 07 2019
I am giving away broken puppets for free
π︎ 9
π
︎ Apr 14 2019
Someone was giving away dead batteries at my work yesterday
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 03 2019
Giving my batteries away....
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 06 2018
I'm giving away old batteries
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 26 2018
Iβm giving my chimney away for free
Itβs pretty much on the house
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 12 2018
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