I've just deleted all the German names off my pre owned iPhone..
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
Grandma is always saying to me ' Hey what's the name of that German guy again who keeps taking my stuff '
Alzheimer, Grandma, it's Alzheimer.
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jun 23 2021
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81.
π︎ 11k
π
︎ May 25 2021
The other day my dog fell into a lake and was drowning. Then some German guy came out of nowhere and saved his life
After I thanked him, he said to me: "Don't vorry, just dry him off and keep him varm, he vill be fine"
I asked him, "Are you a vet?"
He answered, "Am I vet? I'm soaking"
π︎ 210
π
︎ Jun 02 2021
German snipers were impossible to see on the field.
They were called Not-Sees.
π︎ 133
π
︎ Jun 18 2021
German puntage
π︎ 21
π
︎ Jun 24 2021
I didn't enjoy the German BBQ. The burgers were bad
..but the sausages were wurst.
π︎ 74
π
︎ Jun 07 2021
Why do Germans skip the number 10 when counting?
It goes 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, nein 10.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
Can we ban jokes about German sausages? They are just the wurst
π︎ 36
π
︎ May 26 2021
An American, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German where all attending a Zoom meeting. The Supervisor asked βcan you see me ok?β
To which they answered βyesβ βouiβ βsiβ βjaβ.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
I deleted all of the Germans I know out of my phone's contacts
π︎ 20
π
︎ Jun 25 2021
How many Germans does it take to change a lightbulb?
One. They're very efficient, and not particularly funny.
π︎ 162
π
︎ May 08 2021
Today I learned the proper way to greet a German baker
π︎ 54
π
︎ Jun 05 2021
Did you hear about the great German pub?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 20 2021
What did german air force members eat for breakfast?
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jun 07 2021
What do you call it when one German WWII soldier lies to you, then another, then two lie to you, then three tell you a lie, then five lie to you, then eight, then thirteen....
π︎ 16
π
︎ May 31 2021
Joe Biden is reportedly looking to nominate geologists to be supreme associate justices
The news supports recent claims that he's trying to stack the quartz
π︎ 12
π
︎ May 27 2021
What kind of cars do German cowboys drive?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 28 2021
Why is a car hopeless at football?
Because it only has 1 boot.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 21 2021
Mick jagger is hosting a show exploring germanic tribes of britain and north europe
Its called saxon faction.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 30 2021
My dad and I talked about the football game in the pub.
'They'd do better playing in a field,' he suggested.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 18 2021
What is the Tunnel Diggers Association's motto?
π︎ 10
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
I can't believe I just dated a german nationalist! But I guess it's obvious, looking back on it
I mean, there were red flags all over the place
π︎ 70
π
︎ May 09 2021
Next level stuff right here
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Jun 02 2021
Never trust a German Butcher...
π︎ 8
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
What do you call a blind German?
π︎ 41
π
︎ May 07 2021
What did the German say when asked to skip a few when counting to 1,000?
Nien, Nien, Nien!
Germans donβt skip steps.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jun 09 2021
Did you hear about the German thief that stole loads of food for his new diet?
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 12 2021
German Wifi
π︎ 119
π
︎ Apr 04 2021
What's the name of that German doctor that blew my mind?
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 04 2021
I visited a psychic near a French-German border town. I asked if she could connect with dead people.
She remained silent and wrote out her reply.
Oui, ja.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 05 2021
A German meat packing plant had to switch from natural products to collagen skins for its sausages.
It was the wurst case scenario.
π︎ 7
π
︎ May 27 2021
A German women was arrested for faking her taxes
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 30 2021
A German man visits Spain
The bartender asks: "Uno mas?"
To which he replies: "Nein, nein! Tho-mas!"
π︎ 11
π
︎ May 19 2021
I got a girlfriend by pretending that I play football. My friends don't think it's going to last but I don't worry.
She thinks that I'm a keeper.
π︎ 105
π
︎ Mar 27 2021
A waiter at a german restaurant warned me that the meat they used for sausages was suspicious. I replied: " It's okay...
π︎ 29
π
︎ Apr 19 2021
David Beckhamβs son arrived for football training.
He asked the coach, βWhat number shirt am I?β
The coach said βWear four out there, Romeoβ.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 10 2021
Why canβt any T-Rex catch a football?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Apr 27 2021
A Frenchman, a Spaniard, and a German went downtown to see a juggling act...
The performer saw the men arrive and that the crowd was large so he stood on his cart and yelled "can you see me now!?" to which the men replied Oui! Si! Ja!
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 11 2021
My octopus got loose in a football field.
It took ten tackles to catch him.
(not sure if this has been said before, but I just thought of it)
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 22 2021
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81
π︎ 236
π
︎ May 22 2021
I asked a german friend if he knew the square root of 81.
π︎ 37
π
︎ Jun 24 2021
I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81
π︎ 25
π
︎ Jun 01 2021
How do German bakers greet each other?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Jun 09 2021
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
