Gated Puns

I was released for good behavior.

An ElonGated yard

In the 80's when there were a lot of homophobic attacks on people, a brilliant activist named Theodore Jones came up with the idea of an enclave for homosexuals.

A safe haven.

And it had fencing all around and controlled entry.

After he passed away from AIDS they named it after him:

"The Gay Ted" community.

That's why we call it a gated community now.

But Bill kept the Windows

"Ah still love Vista Baby....."

Apparently he refused to ever empty the recycle bin.

They argued about who will clean windows.

It’s not PC

Melinda Gates: Bill, ...you have my Word.

I just hope he will accept my cookies.

They seemed so happy..on the Surface.

Guess his dick was micro-soft

Or is that not PC?

It's nothing special, but it pays the Bills.

Because he was micro-soft

there’s plenty more Phish in the (C:)

He threw her out the Windows. He Excels at that. He wants a Word with his lawyer. He's PowerPointing her to the door. I guess they just weren't on each other's Teams.

Cause people are dying to get in!

It was riveting.

I guess you could say he's an Ali-gator

A little bit of Background information:  When I was a young lad, my father was a professional glass cleaner.   Not just for a job, cleaning Glass was this man's passion!  He always wanted me to take over for him when I grew up, but I always thought it would be a pain, it was a silly job, really.   However, I knew that my father would be shattered if I didn't put an honest effort into the cleaning business.    The first time I perfectly cleaned a mirror, I realized I could really see myself doing this!   My father was wiping away tears of pride when I began to become as passionate as he was.

Anyways, fast forward to a couple months ago.   I have taken over my father's cleaning company, and was working a job at a publishing agency.  Now, due to the pandemic, this building had set up different entry points depending on the purpose of your visit, and each one was gated and stationed by an employee so you could have your temperature taken and go through a checklist to ensure you don't have any symptoms, etc.

After finishing the contract at this building, the owner was so impressed with my work that he said he would like to recommend me for a permanent job with a friend of his.   At first, I was skeptical (I had taken over the family business, after all), but it was becoming difficult to find regular clients anymore, so I agreed.    He gave me a single sheet from a notepad, and told me to write down something about myself that sets me apart from others in my line of work, and I should make it a very impactful statement,  his friend was a very busy man and wouldn't look at more than notes like these.    I wasn't sure what to write on the spot, so he told me to think about it, and return the note when I come back to leave the bill for my work.

So I came back a few days later, went through the gate to drop off my bill and my note about how I am much better than any other glass cleaner out there.    Well, it turns out the friend of the publishing agency's owner was a hiring manager for a well-known computer company, and my note really caught his eye, and I was offered the job!   Now I make more money every two weeks than I had with a month!   At first, I though my father would be upset by me leaving the family business behind, but he told me "As long as you are happy where you are, with what you are doing, then you are succeeding in life.  You are no longer a student of glass cleaning, you are my equal, and I am proud of you"  I never realized how freeing it

...then we'll be C6.

(on the condition he gets to install Windows in it)

She said, “What would you do when you finally see it?”

I said, “I’ll cross the bridge when I get there.”

If they leave it alone, they like your jokes. If they steal it, they've taken a fence.

My wife said, “What are you going to do when you finally see it?”

Me: I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.

But sure the Gates won't open up.

I didn't say anything in case he took a fence.

Does that make you an edge lord?

"Oh, just a couple of minutes ago."

With a batter-ing ram to do it all at once, or you can chocolate chip away at it for a long time.

Gill Gates, the flounder of Mackerelsoft!

So, Bill and Melinda Gates are getting a divorce She gets the house and He gets the Windows!

According to Melinda Gates, Bill just didn't Excel at his marriage. Apparently he had no Power Points while arguing, but he always had to have the last Word And now that he no longer had Access to her heart, the Outlook was not looking good for them. They couldn’t work together as Teams On the Surface they were a perfect couple, but deep down there was hardly any Kinect. He kept everything hidden like an X-Box and she never found it re- Azuring. The main reason she divorced Bill Gates because he was in Office365 days.

Imagine how boring quarantine would be if he hadn't invented Windows.

Error 404: Gate not found

Because people are dying to get in.

She asked me, “What are you going to do when you see it?”

I said, “Let’s cross that bridge when we get there.”