Last year we did a Secret Santa where everyone had to give each other furnace parts. I'm so ticked for the stupid gift I got.

Sorry. I just gotta vent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1kings2214
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2020
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When my furnace broke down for the second time this week, I called the repairmen...

And vented my anger. We got into a heated argument. I later apologized for losing my cool after he told me he was a temp working to complete his degree. We agreed to meet for some cold beers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Feb 27 2019
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My dad tried to prank me by loading the furnace with regular rocks that were painted black.

Totally uncoal, dude.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Djental
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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A family gathers around their father who is very old and sick...

Daughter, are you here? Son? Where is my brother? Is everyone here in this room with me now?

Yes Dad we're all here! Your entire family is here in this room!

Then why is the hallway light on?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisrus65
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2018
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The best housewarming gift...

is a furnace

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dulce_Et_Decorum
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
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Today a co-worker asked me what he should get his friend for a house warming gift

I told him a furnace

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πŸ‘€︎ u/w0rdd
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2017
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My friends dad bought a new house

My friend asks, "How was the house warming?" "With the furnace, I suppose."

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2014
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We just a new heat pump installed in our house.

My dad was telling me all the fancy features and telling me how efficient it is compared to our old gas furnace.

Me: Well it sounds like we are going to saving a bunch of money on our heating bill! That's awesome.

Dad: yeah it's super efficient. So I'm pretty pumped!

Me: -_-

Dad: shit eating grin and a good chuckle

Me: god dammit dad

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2015
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My Christian-Dad was obviously the inspiration for Ned Flanders

Dad: "Time for bed, kids"

Kids: "Throw us in bed! Throw us in bed!"

(Dad picks a kid up in his arms)

Dad: "Did I ever tell you about the three men in the book of Daniel who were thrown into the fiery furnace?"

Kids: "No!"

Dad: "Their names were... Shadrach... Meshach... and ToBedYouGo!

(tosses squealing kid through the air, onto the bed)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cyclura
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2013
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