Which vegetables are best at fundraising?

Solicitators.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/scarecrow53
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2020
🚨︎ report
If the Red Cross did an orchestral fundraising event...

They could call it The Big Band Aid.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ChesterMonty
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2018
🚨︎ report
So someone came to our door asking for money. He was fundraising a new pool in town.

"Dad, there's a guy at the door collecting for the new pool" Dad: "Just give him a glass of water"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jellysam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2016
🚨︎ report
Fundraiser.
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/awesome_smokey
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a british fundraiser?

A charitea event

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/chrisvskris
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I bought a raffle ticket for a local fundraiser and won the Early Bird Prize.

It was a worm.

πŸ‘︎ 44
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/big_macaroons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
I recently went to a fundraiser to buy prosthetics for people with amputated fingers.

It was the third annual Thumb Drive.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bart-O-Kavanaugh
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
My nephew’s school is having a fundraiser.

They are selling salsa and he sent me the flyer.

https://i.imgur.com/TRmu8ry.jpg

I replied that I think it’s very unfair and he’s going to get sick eating that much salsa.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2018
🚨︎ report
I was showing off my hibiscus plants to my neighbor, he says the roots are exposed, and I should get more dirt on them.

So I found out they were both having affairs, and stealing from their company's fundraisers!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xknav3x
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Cool with it

Me and a classmate were working a fundraiser. He splashed me with the ice water from the drinks, and so I splashed him back. He said, "I'm cool with this."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Christine900
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Where is a good place to cut your own Christmas tree?

About three inches off the ground.

My daughter told me this joke and if it gave you a chuckle, please consider donating to her fundraiser for the American Heart Association! http://www2.heart.org/goto/heartwarming

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AppleBaggins
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2018
🚨︎ report
Village Idiot Puns

Way back when I was a kid, for my school's Renaissance Faire-esque fundraiser, I went around wearing a sign that read "Vilage Idiot". When guests asked why, I'd reply, "I wasn't always the village idiot...

  • β€œI used to be a tailor... but it didn't quite suit me... It was only a so-so job.”
  • β€œI once was a lumberjack... but I couldn't hack it... so they gave me the axe.”
  • β€œI was a fisherman too... I just couldn't live off my net income.”
  • β€œI thought about being a witch for a spell.”
  • β€œI tried being a chef... but I just didn't have enough thyme for it.”
  • β€œI was a musician once... but I didn't accomplish anything noteworthy.”
  • β€œFor awhile I was a doctor... but I didn't have the patience to keep it up.”
  • β€œI once was a accountant... but I lost interest. The job was too taxing.”
  • β€œI tried moonlighting as a nun... but I confess, they didn't like my altar ego... or my bad habits.”
  • β€œMore recently, I was a baker... but I couldn't make enough dough at it... Guess I wasn't bred for the job.”
  • β€œHeck, I was even king for a day... but I didn't have any crowning achievements.”

...And so now, here I am: village idiot, just like my father was. Ah... my father, he was the best village idiot we ever had. It's hard living in his shadow sometimes. You see, my father was a complete idiot! ...I'm just a half-wit.”

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ason42
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Parents attended pirate night at the church - find the pun.

The local congregation held a pirate-themed fundraising dinner, my parents attended, this picture ensued. I missed the pun out of the gates - how long will it take /r/dadjokes?

(spacing for mobile users)

http://imgur.com/1UsHwvH

May the best dadjoker win! Groan-inducing hint to arrive in 1hr.

Edit: looks like I have a lot to learn... Goodnight reddit.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/emcniece
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2015
🚨︎ report
I don't catch buses

They are too heavy.

Got told this by a guy fundraising when I said I couldn't stop to chat, had to get my bus. I wanted to turn back and donate just because of that xD

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunnymel
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2015
🚨︎ report
Obama is a dad

From a Dallas fundraiser this week: β€œ[Nancy Pelosi] is tough, she is smart, and she has a heart as big as Texas β€” even though she’s from California,” said Obama, who opened his remarks by saying, β€œI’m not running for reelection. Not just because of the Constitution but also because of my wife.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TelegramAHologram
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2014
🚨︎ report
I need as many duck puns as you guys can give me.

My marketing class is doing a fundraiser for the girls basketball team and it involves chucking rubber ducks.

The event is called chuck a duck and I need as many punny ideas to photoshop into posters as possible.

Also historic events that replace people with rubber ducks helps too.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fuzzyblackyeti
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.