OC/DC, we called ourselves.
They're fighting for a just claws.
Oh you H2 HOE
And now The Cure is no longer necessary!
There is no string section unfortunately, apparently he is a practitioner of 'non-violins'
Running
Iβll call it my No Worries Atoll.
Whey to go
Would it be a rubber band?
They call themselves Flock of Smeagols
The plaintiff got X-posed
"Sedimentary, my dear Watson."
He already had the drumsticks
Elle-Vader music
My brother is a great dad, but he tells this joke every time I see him
After a while of spending time together they were all N Sync
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comics/20140905.png
Because semi-colons don't complete a sentence!
I lack toes in tolerance.
Calculme.
If you canβt beat βem, join βem.
I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight
The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist
To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!
It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"
It was a big mist-stake.
He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
I had to Nicks that idea.
Fly-By Hooting.
Because the times, they are a-changin'.
Because there are more geese on that side.
It's a mootual fund.
How do you kill a blue elephant? (How?) With a blue elephant gun.
How you you kill a pink elephant? (With a pink elephant gun?) No, you hold its trunk til it turns blue then shoot it with the blue elephant gun
Why do elephants paint their toenails red? (No clue...?) So they can hide in cherry trees
Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? (Of course not) Then clearly it works
It was a match made in heaven.
Because they have a proven track record
Family feudalism
When questioned they just stated they were now Anti Fa.
Life as a Stay at Home Dad (honest humor nothing against Stay at Home Dads)
As as an aspiring father figure, I have the greatest respect for dads of every kind. In fact, much of this stems from the fact Iβve grown up from the age of 6 without a father of my own. I made this video as a comical representation of what I hope to be one day: a guy full of dad jokes and such humor.
Thank you for reading and enjoy!
Descartes and Shakespeare were having a debate on how best to write. Descartes argued up and down that prose was the only way to really get your ideas across and that artistic license just muddied everything up. Shakespeare argued poetry and turns of phrase made the material more relatable and thus easier to get across. Descartes countered, "But how do you know what the best form is?" Shakespeare thought about it and replied, "I think, therefore iamb."
This contrasts with the modern system, where tor is for both men and women, and trix are for kids.
They were hip then and they are hip now.
....please form an orderly, orderly, orderly, orderly queue.
So this is a true story, and maybe Iβll go to hell for telling it, but I expect Iβll meet the actual perpetrator there:
At baseball practice last night, a coach asked if Iβd seen the rabbit β the dead one. What? He had me look by a fence where there wasnβt a dead bunny, but HALF of one: Literally (and eerily) just the bottom half, with the top completely missing. Still shuddering over this.
Properly disposed of it and was feeling unsettled, but sprung right back to true dad form when he jokingly accused me of harming the rabbit. I told him that he knew it couldnβt have been me β Iβve never been one to split hares
An authoritative write winged government.
Iβm raisin awareness
Because I read the label and it said to keep away form children
They make a Frodo-type.
Probably name my kid Luke so I can remind him who I am for the rest of eternity.
It was a taxing day.
Running.
please form an orderly orderly orderly orderly queue.
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that the teller's name is Patricia Whack. So he says, "Ms. Whack, I'd like to get a loan to buy a boat and go on a long vacation." Patti looks at the frog in disbelief and asks how much he wants to borrow.
The frog says $30,000.
The teller asks his name and the frog says that his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's OK, he knows the bank manager.
Patti explains that $30,000 is a substantial amount of money and that he will need to secure some collateral against the loan. She asks if he has anything he can use as collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny pink porcelain elephant, about half an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patti explains that she'll have to consult with the manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000. He wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what the heck is this?"
The bank manager looks back at her and says: "It's a knick knack, Patti Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone"
