why can't sharks play flutes properly?

because they don't have a tuna.

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📅︎ Apr 29 2021
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My daughter was practicing her flute today, she said at bar 45 she needs to add in a breath mark.

I teared up, after all these years she still doesn't know my name is David.

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📅︎ Jan 02 2021
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Celt flute
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👤︎ u/vandelvan
📅︎ Apr 26 2019
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Celt Flute
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📅︎ Dec 22 2019
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Who would win a fight between a flute and a trombone

The flute woodwind.

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📅︎ Oct 26 2018
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How do you hold a Baroque flute?

You Handel it carefully.

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📅︎ Jul 30 2019
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What's the name of those half-goat people in mythology? Usually depicted with a pan flute? They use fiction as a way to write scathing commentary about the world?

Oh, right. Satires.

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📅︎ Aug 14 2019
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If I threw a flute at a cop...

...would I be flauting authority?

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📅︎ Apr 17 2016
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The opera singer destroyed the champagne flutes that might have incriminated her, by singing til it shattered...

She was convicted of Timbre-ing with evidence

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📅︎ Nov 05 2016
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Where does Phil Collins record his music?

In his stu-stu-studio

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📅︎ Nov 11 2020
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What is the most dangerous group of instrument players?

Violins

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📅︎ Nov 11 2020
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When the flutist found out she was making less money than the cellist was making...

She wondered what the bass salary is.

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📅︎ Dec 19 2019
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Margaret Atwood new book about a dystopian orchestra

Blessed be the flute

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👤︎ u/Goldygold2
📅︎ Sep 06 2020
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At a costume party

Guy 1: What are you dressed as?

Guy 2: I'm a harp

Guy 1: That looks too small for a harp

Guy 2: You calling me a lyre?

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📅︎ Sep 02 2019
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Last night I had a dream

I was playing a woodwind instrument in a concert hall. In my underpants.

I was the flute of the room.

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👤︎ u/dmdeemer
📅︎ Mar 22 2020
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What's a skeletons favorite instrument?

A tromBONE! ☠

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📅︎ Dec 28 2018
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What do you call an expesive chamepane glass?

High flute-n.

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📅︎ Jan 06 2019
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A lieutenant of a marching band had lost his piccolo, he went to a music instrument-store and asked for a piccolo

The store keeper said that they ran out of stock of piccolos but he could rent out a flute, the lieutenant agreed promptly.

After the performance the lieutenant came back to the store to return the flute. The store keeper asked if he was the flute tenant

No I am the lieutenant

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📅︎ Feb 11 2019
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My dad told me this joke to cheer me up while at the doctors

Man: Doctor, I swallowed my flute Doctor: Good thing you are not a pianist

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📅︎ Jan 06 2019
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From my recent DnD game, in the local tavern

Bard: I take out my lute and start playing

Druid: I take out my flute and join in

Dm: rolls. Everybody loves it. (Paraphrased. Took much longer)

Me: Hey. Where did you keep the flute? Would you say maybe in the brim of your shoe? Like how some keep a knife in their boot? Please, just go with it

So the lute and the flute from the boot was a hoot

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📅︎ Apr 06 2018
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My Pop's Jokes.

Most of them are limericks...

There once was a man from Beirut, Who had 39 warts on his root. Acid cured these But now when he pees He fingers his root like a flute...

Also these come to mind...

What kind of bees give milk? Boobies

Whats the best advice for a happy marriage? A short memory.

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👤︎ u/Magerious
📅︎ May 04 2016
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