What did the guy tell the plumber when the toilet was flushing too fast?
"There's some shit going down in here!"
Just finished peeing and the wife came in after and asked: "Did you just piss without flushing"?
I replied, "Yea, it's pretty clear..."
.3 seconds later I realized how funny it was.
TIL some people have a phobia of flushing the toilet
That must be a shitty phobia to have
Flushing in Progress (my dad got an iphone and loves taking pictures)
Easiest way to flush them out
How do you make the number one disappear?
You add "g" and it's GONE
My son flushed one of his shoes down the toilet, stopping it up...
My kid keeps forgetting to flush the toilet after he takes a dump.
"That shit is getting old," I told him.
PS: Do I get any extra credit if this is a real story?
I love a royal flush!
It means a great deal to me.
How do you make the number two disappear?
Coach Butt pushed his team The Doodies into the Toilet Bowl. But, his team was playing like crap after a heavy load. And even though Coach knew his #1 was flushed, he pointed at him and said...
My wife wanted to buy a ceiling light. She said, “this one comes with a hanging chain but I think we should just mount it flush with the ceiling.”
I said, “that would be off the chain.”
Why did the pencil get flushed down the toilet?
Did you hear about the guy that flushed himself down the toilet?
Why did Captain Kirk flush the brand new toilet?
For those hoarding mouthwash: Remember that you should never flush Listerine® down the toilet.
What did the pregnant mare say when she gave birth upon being dealt a royal flush?
Some people stand up off the toilet before they flush, but I don’t
I don’t want to see that shit
A thief in a small town stole all the toilets...
Police issued a statement saying they had 'nothing to go on'
I was sitting on the toilet, angry, and late for work.
I thought, “I don’t have time for this shit.”
Bob Dylan bought a watch made of a toilet flush and Bombay Sapphire.
The times they are a chain gin.
Why did the soldier flush the toilet?
I run out of toilet paper...
My poker cards yesterday were so shitty
I should have known better than to flush my wooden shoes down the toilet.
Hey dad, can we stop at the casino at the next exit?
Dad: Sure, why?
Son: I need to go to the bathroom and the sign says they have the best craps in the state.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
I suppose a flush can beat a full house if...
Never flush a snake down the toilet.
It’ll just come back to bite you.
As a plumber, I often have nightmares about the dripping faucet I can't fix and the toilet that will not flush (good horror movie titles, btw)...
It's plumb crazy, but I have pipe dreams!
Why did the superhero flush the toilet
Because it was his doody!
Why shouldn’t you play poker with a plumber?
A good flush will beat a full house every time.
I went to a Star Trek convention dressed as a tree...
..... I was the captain's log
The ocean flushed out a lot of seaweed...
I guess one could say the tides were pretty high.
How does Chuck Norris flush the toilet?
He doesn't, he scares the living shit out of it
Every time I flush the toilet...
Never flush a danish shoe
What do you get when bloods and crips don’t flush the toilet?
I got a pear stuck in my toilet. All I needed to do was flush and it was gone.
Because a flush always beats a pair.
What do you call a fantasy about plumbers?
My friend said he had a shit so big that it needed 6 flushes to go down...
Either he is full of shit or he was full of shit
I only buy the really good toilet paper when I'm feeling flush.
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