Money puns
I need a money pun for a title of a speech I’m giving about the history of money. I knew you guys would spark my creativity.
How to earn a ton of money in 1 easy step
Put 5 female pigs and 5 male deers in your backyard.
Congratulations, you now have ten sows and bucks!
I know a family of Artists but I am not sure how they make so much Money
I’m gonna buy cereal with my COVID relief money.
You know how tombs tend to have money that's buried with their inhabitants?
That's the first cryptocurrency.
If money can't buy love...
....then why do dating sites charge?
I tried to make money as a sculptor,
but I could only get the heads right so I went bust.
There’s some money down the drain
What do you call money growing on trees?
Instead of a swear jar I have a negativity jar. Everytime I have a pessimistic thought I put a dollar in it.
Where does Frosty keep his money?
A friend of mine makes good money selling camel’s milk, but he has to put up with surly camels all day.
I've decided to invest all my money in soup stocks
I want to be a bouillonaire.
My Grandpa always said "don't watch your money, watch your health."
Then one day when I was watching my health, he stole my wallet.
I saw a banker burying money under the bushes in his garden
My Uncle and Aunt Send Me Money From England Every Year On My Birthday
Now my wallet weighs 31 pounds.
I can't abide lending money, just the sight of an IOU note makes me furious.
I have Irritable Vowel Syndrome.
What last name belongs to a man who is annoying and inherited a lot of money?
I saved a bunch of money on my car insurance
When I fled the scene of the accident.
I just called GameStop Customer Service...
They asked me to please Hold. 💎🤲
Where do fish get their money?
If you want to make easy money, just take pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
You know I always wanted to open my own sandwich shop. I would have all the meat and bread money could buy...
Problem was I was afraid something would go a rye
Why is money called dough?
My high school bully still takes my lunch money.
But on the upside, he makes great Subway sandwiches!
How did the Nazis get their money?
I make money by selling simple sandwiches
Where does a pool table keep its money?
What do you call the money your garbage business earns?
What do you call an actor with money problems?
So I wanted to withdraw some money.
Have to try again later because for some reason I can‘t ATM.
I gave some dude the money I'd saved to to buy bushes to line my property. I'd introduce you, but
my hedge fund manager hates reddit.
Please just take my money you deserve it
Kid: Why do you stand on one leg while you get money out of the ATM?
Dad: I’m checking my balance.
The last thing my grandfather said before he died was, “It’s worth it to spend money on good speakers.”
That was some sound advice.
Your undergraduate diploma was a complete waste of money, you should throw it in the fire.
That's a first degree burn.
Where did the nut keep his money?
What do you call someone from Florida with lots of teeth who likes to spend money on the stock market?
Why did people loose so much money in derivative products and markets.
Because they had no option.
What do you call a person who thinks he or she has not earned enough money?
**Genie: I will grant you 2 wishes** **Me: I want to be rich.** **Genie: Okay granted, second wish?** **Rich: I'd like loads of money.**
I got my chips before I put my money into the vending machine
I guess it's out of order.
I always put my money in drums
Because it’s a sound investment.
A preacher with a lisp hired a sinner to paint his church. To save money, the sinner man added water into the paint can. It didn’t work well. The preacher told him:
Young man, you need to repaint and thin no more.
The genie asked, "What’s your first wish?" Steve replied, "I wish I was rich!" The genie nodded and said, "What’s your second wish?"
Rich exclaimed, "I want lots of money!"
Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
My friend is making a lot of easy money by taking pictures of salmon dressed in human clothes.
It’s like shooting fish in apparel.
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