property owners gone festive!
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︎ Dec 26 2020
What did Mariah Carey say when her boyfriend bought her an undeveloped property so they could build their dream house?
I donβt want a lot for Christmas.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
King Arthur had a knight in charge of determining property boundaries.
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︎ Nov 09 2020
My brother just made a really good investment on a property
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︎ Oct 28 2020
Whatβs the saying for when your protein powder gets spilled on your legal documents which divide all of your property after death?
Where thereβs a will, thereβs a whey.
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Thereβs a reason why pilots donβt buy beachside property.
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︎ May 16 2020
Did you know it was against the law to let your long hair to cross over into someone else's property?
Yeah, that is called tress-passing.
(Especially when your neighbor stresses over your tresses.)
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︎ Mar 19 2020
You know what would be funny? A large group of people protesting, getting into fights with police and destroying property.
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︎ May 14 2020
My friend discovered and claimed 15 ore veins as his property...
π︎ 3
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︎ May 15 2020
My neighbor just got arrested for illegally growing Marijuana.
Turns out my property line is not as far as I thought it was.
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︎ Dec 11 2020
I built an electric fence around my property yesterday.
My neighbor is dead against it.
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︎ Sep 11 2019
What does the Property Brothersβ dog specialize in?
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 04 2020
My neighbor tried to wager money on whether I could jump the row of bushes between our properties...
But I don't like to hedge my bets.
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︎ Feb 12 2020
What tea do rich people buy?
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︎ Apr 05 2020
Hugh Hefner kicked some monks off his property today
The monks were selling flowers in front of the playboy mention when they were kicked out. When asked about it, the monk replied βif it was anybody else we would have gotten away with it, but only Hugh can prevent florist friarsβ
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︎ Dec 22 2019
Vincent's property buying Uncle Donot Pass Gogh.
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︎ Feb 27 2019
My bisexual friend owns two properties
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︎ Aug 04 2019
I thought I'd show off a section of our remote property. It's just a click away.
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︎ May 13 2019
I have 2 part-time jobs. For one, I put sodas into aluminum containers. For the other, I document a person's desires regarding what happens to their property after death
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︎ Jan 21 2020
A cowboy counted 48 horses on his property, but when he rounded them up...
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︎ Oct 11 2019
My dad likes to sit in his front yard chasing kids off his property...
...Like some Lawn Enforcement Officer.
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︎ Sep 21 2019
In recent news, a giant had a troubling discovery when he returned home from work.
After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,
"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."
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︎ Nov 14 2020
What do you call an alloy of Fe and Ni which doesn't have magnetic properties ? IRONICAL
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 22 2019
Dad: I have a lot of blind deer on my property.
Son: Really? How do you know they're blind?
Dad: Well, I have no eyed deer.
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︎ Oct 21 2019
The thermodynamic properties of water is just amazing
Thatβs why ice is so cool
π︎ 9
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︎ Aug 28 2019
What do you call beachfront property that is owned by a cow?
π︎ 16
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︎ Mar 25 2019
He was renting the Tardis all along
π︎ 2k
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︎ Jan 14 2020
I thought about getting a robot to mow our garden, but it is a huge property.
Iβm afraid that wonβt cut it.
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︎ Aug 09 2019
A man was in court against another man who had trespassed on his property while freshly laid asphalt was drying, leaving a footprint.
For some reason, the judge was in favor of the trespasser.
The man slammed his hand down on the table. βBut I have concrete proof!β
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︎ Jan 31 2019
Is it okay to peek into your neighborβs house if you are still technically in your own property?
Personally Iβm on the fence.
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︎ Jan 17 2019
My depressed Italian buddy got into property development.
Now he's in a real estate.
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︎ Mar 27 2019
How do you call a spanish guy crossing your property?
Trespassito
^((i am so sorry, alexa play despacito))
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︎ Aug 24 2018
Scientists have discovered an element with chemical properties that can't be predicted.
They're calling it the element of surprise.
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︎ Jan 05 2019
I am become shovel, destroyer of public property
π︎ 7
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︎ May 16 2018
Why is the English common law so concerned with property rights?
Because the English gentry insisted on proper tea rites every afternoon.
π︎ 3
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︎ Mar 31 2018
I read that the Stonehenge stones have musical properties...
This gives a whole new meaning to rock music.
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︎ Oct 15 2018
I never really met my neighbors until they tried to sue me over the ownership of some property.
Turns out we had a lot in common...
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︎ Jun 22 2017
Will Smith do so?
Will Smith's property (150 acres) is larger than Vatican City (110 acres). Therefore, if he were to do so, it would not be the smallest country.
That day would be known as independence day.
The country would be a Fresh Principality.
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︎ Mar 28 2020
What does a Frenchman tell an egg that's trespassing on his property?
Get Εuf my yard.
Explanation:
Εuf if French for egg.
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︎ Jan 04 2017
Why do elements and chemicals make good real estate agents?
They have a lot of properties.
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︎ Jun 23 2020
My wife asked me what to do about renting a property to a couple who own a cat.
I shrugged and said, I dunno, urine charge...
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︎ Apr 25 2018
I built an electric tence around my property yesterday.
My neighbour is dead against it.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 09 2019
I put an electric fence up on my property.
My neighbor is dead against it.
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︎ Sep 09 2019
What do you call bovine-owned beachfront property?
π︎ 9
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︎ May 07 2019
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