My bisexual friend owns two properties

He covers both bases

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mortalily
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2019
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What do you call beachfront property that is owned by a cow?

Prime Veal Es-steak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/melon_lawd
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Is it okay to peek into your neighbor’s house if you are still technically in your own property?

Personally I’m on the fence.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
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My wife asked me what to do about renting a property to a couple who own a cat.

I shrugged and said, I dunno, urine charge...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mindsound
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2018
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John started working in a color pigment company...

John started working in a color pigment company which specialises in mixing and editing different color pigments according to their customers's demands. Once the color pigments were done, they would be mailed out to the customers with a detailed note commenting on the properties of the produced color pigments. John was placed in the 'Pink Pigment' department which was incidentally between the 'Red Pigment' and 'White Pigment' departments. He was really good at his job and was constantly praised for the great work he produced.

However after a month or so, John found that a number of his work was being duplicated and mailed to almost all of his customers. Worse of all, instead of a proper note commenting on the color pigment properties, these duplicated products were accompanied with rather bad puns and jokes. One repeating joke which irritated him the most was: 'What do you call a country with only pink cars? A pink car-nation.'

Upset, he went to his manager to complain about the problem. After listening to John, his manager said, "Oh boy, looks like I need to talk to the manager of the 'Red Pigment' department again. This is not the first time that it has happened. Those Red-editors in that department love to copy and repost other people's original work as their own."
John then asked, "How are you so sure that it was them who are responsible?"
His manager replied, "Well, you can be certain that it is them as they always love jokes or puns especially in the comment section."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AesSedai99
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Always time for a Dad Joke

Just a few weeks ago I was on a camping trip with my friends and we were staying in a friends cabin out on their private property. During the day when there wasn't much to do it was fun to get on a few ATV's we had and drive around. Through no fault of my own, I incidentally couldn't make a turn and crashed through a barb wire fence and sliced open my Neck, during the time I was being prepared for a helicopter ride to a Hospital rather far away I poked up from the stretcher while my friends watched and stated: "With all this Adrenaline and this IV, I guess you could say I'm feeling pretty 'wired'. " It was the proudest moment of my trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JKtoday
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2015
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What do you call bovine-owned beachfront property?

Prime Veal Es-Steak

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πŸ‘€︎ u/melon_lawd
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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