Because he's still alive
Wiggly Field!
Chance the wrapper
Illinoise
Blows me away.
Once again, brrr killed Hamilton.
Great, now parents have to worry about their kids getting ghosted by a velociraptor? "Hey Timmy, it's Ronny the Raptor. U up? Don't you hate it when you send an eggplant emoji to a Triceratops and they be like: who dis?"
But it's still the hottest day of the year
Because it's the Windy City!
He said it was a Na-tural disaster.
I linked him here
Relevant link: http://abc7chicago.com/news/morton-salt-collapse-covers-cars-at-acura-dealership/455616/
I call it the Bull-shark. My bro told me I should take the tags off the horns, I told him, "Nah, leave 'em on, I want people to know he's fresh." True Story.
http://i.imgur.com/R6hFHOf.jpeg
Wife: What happened to the "P"?
Me: It had to go.
As a side note, many of my recent dadjokes seem to involve pee.
So I am on my way home from work on the 12:25 northbound. The train is filled with drunk Bears fans who are passing out on seats. The conductor just messaged, "Reminder to all Bears fans, this is the last train of the night. Please keep your Bear hats, Bear shirts, and Bear feet off the other seats so that others may use them."
It was a good chuckle, definately worth remembering.
Dad: What's a Broadway? Me: ...... dad: about 130 pounds
Ill-i-noise.
