Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know Iβm getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beerβ¦.
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! β€οΈ
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Apr 09 2021
Have you heard of the man addicted to drinking brake fluid?
Says he can stop anytime!
π︎ 36
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︎ May 26 2021
Eye drops should be called blinker fluid
π︎ 36
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︎ May 25 2021
Itβs the lighter fluid
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 06 2020
My wife told me to push fluids when I got my covid vaccine
π︎ 10
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︎ Mar 24 2021
If a man is addicted to braking fluid...
Can he stop any time he wants?
π︎ 26
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︎ Mar 24 2021
All this stress lately has me trying new things. For example, I've discovered that brake fluid is actually delicious. I'm up to a case a day, but there's no need to worry about me.
π︎ 48
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︎ Jan 18 2021
Brake fluid.
π︎ 52
π
︎ Jun 28 2020
My wife caught me drinking brake fluid this morning. She told me that wasn't good for me.
I told her it's okay, I can stop anytime.
Credit to @meetbuford on TikTok for this.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Aug 06 2020
Iβm concerned after catching my son drinking brake fluid.
He says he can stop whenever he wants.
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
Thereβs a guy whoβs addicted to brake fluid
He says he can stop anytime
(Cue the ba dum Chi thing)
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
People think Iβm addicted to drinking brake fluid
I always say, βI can stop whenever I want.β
π︎ 53
π
︎ May 29 2020
My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid
Joke's on her, I can stop whenever I like
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Jun 03 2019
During this pandemic I've been drinking a lot of brake fluid
But it's okay because I can stop whenever I want
π︎ 49
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︎ May 12 2020
9/10 people addicted to breaker fluid can't stop.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
My wife is extremely upset that I've been drinking brake fluid
She shouldnt be mad, I can stop any time I want
π︎ 23
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︎ Jun 20 2020
I used to be addicted to brake fluid and couldn't stop. It was a gateway, driving me to power steering fluid.
...I have to find a way to turn my life around before I start hitting the transmission fluid. That would shift my addiction into high gear.
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︎ Jun 08 2020
Actually made me laugh gender fluid means you arent binary to one gender and transgender mean you do not identify as the gender assigned to you at birth
π︎ 13
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︎ Dec 24 2019
π︎ 49
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︎ Sep 21 2019
My wife thinks Iβm addicted to brake fluid
I keep telling her I could stop at any time
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 07 2020
Eye drops are technically blinker fluid
π︎ 64
π
︎ Aug 13 2019
Archimedes was sat around thinking of names for the fluid expulsion tube in the human body. Suddenly, he knew the perfect name, stood up, and shouted-
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 26 2020
I guess the food is more fluid with the guests
π︎ 39
π
︎ Mar 27 2019
Did you hear about the mechanic that got addicted to drinking brake fluid?
He said he could stop any time he wants.
π︎ 19
π
︎ Dec 30 2019
get it? because itβs break fluid.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 14 2019
How do you know Quantum Computers are gender fluid?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 04 2019
My friend tried stand-up comedy and making jokes about eyeballs and their fluids. No one would laugh.
I can't blame them; it was vitreous humour.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
My kid told me to buy blinker fluid
So I brought back eye drops
π︎ 26
π
︎ May 17 2019
What happens when a lighter uses up all its fluid?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 30 2019
Sure, I drink brake fluid
π︎ 326
π
︎ Jan 28 2021
I love brake fluid.
Wouldn't Say Addicted, I can stop anytime I want to!
π︎ 30
π
︎ Feb 05 2021
Sure, I drink brake fluid.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 07 2021
I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid
I can stop any time I want.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 08 2020
i know a guy addicted to brake fluid
he says he can stop any time.
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 20 2020
Im not addicted to brake fluid, I swear!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Aug 20 2020
So what if I'm addicted to brake fluid?
I can stop any time I want.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Jun 18 2020
My wife says I'm addicted to drinking brake fluid....
Jokes on her... I can stop whenever I like
π︎ 290
π
︎ Oct 04 2019
I'm addicted to brake fluid.
But it's ok I can stop at any time.
π︎ 67
π
︎ Jul 12 2019
Iβm addicted to brake fluid,
On the bright side, I can stop whenever I want!
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 06 2020
I am addicted to brake fluid
But I can stop whenever I want.
π︎ 148
π
︎ Dec 28 2018
I met a man that was addicted to drinking automotive brake fluid
But he insisted he could stop at any time.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 31 2019
I know a guy addicted to brake fluid
He said he could stop anytime.
π︎ 36
π
︎ Oct 08 2019
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop anytime.
π︎ 121
π
︎ Mar 05 2019
I have a friend who is addicted to drinking brake fluid
But he says he can stop at anytime.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ May 26 2016
I'm addicted to brake fluid.
but I can stop any time...
π︎ 44
π
︎ May 20 2019
My sister is addicted to brake fluid...
But it's OK, because she can stop anytime.
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Mar 21 2016
My friend has become addicted to brake fluid.
He says he can stop whenever he wants
π︎ 473
π
︎ Jun 22 2017
Iβm not addicted to brake fluid
I can stop whenever I want to.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Dec 07 2018
I have a friend who is addicted to brake fluid, but itβs not a problem because he can stop anytime
π︎ 11
π
︎ Jul 25 2019
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