Mobile Puns

Unlimited Data

I got a text from my mobile provider saying I’d exceeded my monthly Data allowance.

It’s called the iChart

Robin get in the car.

One gets incarcerated, the other is in-car-serrated

Teacher: “So I want everyone to understand that a dead body isn’t disgusting, and we need to be able to handle it and always be observant at all times when dealing with one”

The teacher has everyone turn their body over

Teacher: “Now I want you all to stick your finger in it’s ass and hold it in there for a moment”

all of the students do as instructed, hesitant at first

Teacher: “Okay, now go ahead and pull your finger out and then put a finger in your mouth like I do”

The students getting a little disgusted by that request REALLY hesitated at first, but eventually they all did as he asked

As the teacher has all of his students with their finger in their mouth, he tells the class, “now see it’s not disgusting if you did it right...if you put your index finger in the ass, and put your middle finger in your mouth like I did, you have just passed my class”.

With minimal observance, and a dead silent room...not one student passed the pop quiz

Unstable.

...if you smoke them.

I was watching this film the other day and heard Sir Lancelot ask someone to fetch his charger.

He gave her a ring

Sam sung

r/dadjokes on you!

Son: "Mom, Dad's russian!!"

Because he couldn't sprint

Just in case Mr Onion rings.

Tuber simulator

RV?

Wild Bill Hickock

He explained to that it was a call from his wife, so he wasn't talking on the phone, just listening.

The cops let him go.

I think we really need to upgrade our plumbers.

But every time I visit the countryside I get soft and lose my edge

Now it's Hans free.

I told the salesman I wanted the new 61

charge: driving erotically

I must console myself

You think they’re infinite until they’re snot

Lets say you buy a mobile home and you renovate it to have more things in it and be a bit more up to date. You even add a phone system in case you lose your phone. Does that make it a Mobile Phone?

I can't use my laptop anymore. Someone spilled apple juice on it.

It was a cider attack.