Flip flops are fun. Every time you take a step....
....it's like a high five for your foot.
i once attended a black-tie affair in flip-flops
My wife yelled, “Hey, the sun’s coming out!” So I wore my shorts and flip flops and came downstairs.
Found my son holding hand with his boyfriend.
Why don't cows wear flip flops?
What kind of chips wear flip-flops?
Did you hear that the new Kirby game was a flop?
Yeah, people said it really sucked..
I was walking backwards in flip flops
And they went pilf spolf.
Lost a flip flop once ...
Went to replace it and was told they are only sold in pairs ... I've bought hundreds of those damn fruits and have yet to get my other flip flop.
why can't cows wear flip-flops?
because they lactose
(they lack toes. because they have hooves) (get it??)
My wife texted me, saying my puppy ate one of my flip flops...
Guess I'll just have to flip hop when I get home.
My girlfriend just beat an ant to death with her flip flop.
It was a summery execution.
Man with 2 left feet goes into a shoe store and asks....
"Do you sell flop flops?"
A woman with two left feet walks into a shoe store
She asks the manager, "excuse me, do you have any flop-flops?"
I've invented a sandal for one legged people...
I went to the local petrol station
There was nothing coming out of the nozzle. I walked to the kiosk and i said, have you got your pumps on?
He said, no, I'm wearing flip-flops
A lot of people think Waterworld flopped
But it was a big hit overseas
My 8 year old brother made this one: How does the fish cross the road?
I made a joke about Captain Hook finally winning, but it flopped
Apparently some people don't like dead pan humor
What is a pirates favourite musical note?
A man walks into a fishmonger with a trout flopping back and forth under his arm and asks "Do you do fishcakes?"
Pointing at the fish, "Cos it's his birthday."
What shoe can’t make up its mind?
Not a huge fan, to be honest.
I'd make a Texas holdem joke
But I think it would be a flop
I called work this morning and said, "Sorry boss, I can't come in today, I have a wee cough."
He said, "You have a wee cough?"
I said, "Really?! Thanks boss, see you next week!"
There was a film made about Dick Fosbury's high jump technique
Wife told me to say something if I stopped to look at stuff while shopping.
“Something!”, I yelled at her.
Warning: use at your own risk. I was smacked with a flip flop.
Doctor Vist
A guy is going to see his shrink. when he gets there, just outside the door he strips down, gets butt naked & raps himself in suran wrap, then walks in/hops in, & goes & flops on the couch & says alright doc im ready! doc turns around, thinks for a minute, & says alright i can clearly see--- your nuts!
What do you call a Frenchman wearing sandals?
A steak pun is a rare medium well done.
What species of fish has hair?
Two wrongs don't make a right.
But, two Wrights make an airplane!
I invented beach footwear for people with one leg.
So I was tired after a long day...
So as soon as I got home, I flopped onto a couch, and slept for an hour or two with my arm under a textured pillow. When I woke up, the texture left the textured markings on my arm. So I showed my brother, and he said “you have weird sleeping patterns”.
What do you call a French man wearing sandal's?
I’m at a shoe store, but I can’t decide what shoes I want.
I just keep flip-flopping!
What do indecisive people wear?
Hillary CLinton is getting ready for the summer
she loves flip flop season
Why don't cows wear flip flops?
A man with two left feet walks into a shoe store:
"Excuse me do you sell flip flips?"
A man with 2 left feet walks into a shoe store and asks...
"Do you sell flip flips?"
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