Dud you know Astronauts said steaks are better in space?

They're a little meteor.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/noapostrophe555
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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If a cow doesnโ€™t produce milk, itโ€™s both an udder failure, and a milk dud.
๐Ÿ‘︎ 8k
๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/superflyguy87
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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Dud you hear the latest from The FatRat?

He walked into his studio and all he found was DeadMau5

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/DBelariean
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 29 2020
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Dud you hear about the midget who had to have a leg amputated?

He was three feet tall, and one foot short!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Mighty_Seagull87
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Genie: What is your final wish? Boy: I wish I were you.

Genue: weurd but alrught.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/simplyGagi
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 09 2019
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What do you call a heifer that doesn't make milk?

An udder failure.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ShakilR
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jun 28 2018
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What do you call a failed potato?
A dud spud
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Darz167
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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What do you call a dad whoโ€™s never there for you


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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/AlexRedford7
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 20 2018
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Got milk?

So, if a cow dosent produces milk when shes supose to is it a milk dud or an utter failure?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/slumberingtitan
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 14 2019
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Is my co-worker ready to be a father or what?

Halfway through the baby shower he goes "well this party is a dud, the baby hasn't even showed up to her own party!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/R3id
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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What do you call a milk carton that falls and doesn't explode?

A milk dud.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ButPhuctIt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 15 2017
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My friend's dad's Facebook posts are golden

*Khakis: What you need to start the car in Boston.

*Haunted French pancakes give me the crepes.

*Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.

*What do you call a cow who gives no milk? ...A milk dud (or an udder failure)

*There was a terrible fight reported in our local shopping center. It just so happened that a news reporter from one of our local stations was there to record the entire episode. It was an altercation between a prominent dentist and a manicurist. Their disagreement escalated to the point that they wound up fighting each other tooth and nail.

*The little old woman who lived in a shoe wasn't the sole owner - there were strings attached.

*I recently saw a theatrical performance on puns... turned out, it was just a play on words!

*Have you ever tried watching a magician with an anger management problem? Every time he gets mad, he pulls his hare out!

*If you lose your hearing, is it ear replaceable? -Just wondering

*Harvard has long been known for its championship Rowing team โ€“ until this year. They had their first ever indecisive rower... he couldnโ€™t choose either oar.

*I found an excellent seamstress who is so enthusiastic about her work that she's happy to make a pair of pants for you โ€ฆor at least sew its seams.

*No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

*I bought a new weed whacker yesterday & it is cutting-hedge technology!

*Did you see the movie about the hot dog? It was an Oscar Wiener.

*I read about a recent fire at the circus. The heat was in tents.

*I was saddened to hear that our local bakery was going out of business. They said they had decided to stop making donuts after they got tired of the hole thing.

*I decided that becoming a vegetarian was a missed steak.

*Why do seagulls fly over the sea? โ€ฆBecause if they flew over the bay, theyโ€™d be bagels!!

*I wonder if their manure spreader is the only equipment John Deere won't stand behind.

*I saw a very emotional wedding recently... even the cake was in tiers!

*I'm glad I'm not a cross-eyed teacher... otherwise I'd find it too difficult to control my pupils!

*What time is it when little white flakes fall past the classroom window? ...Snow and Tell

*I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

*The other day I held the door open for a clown. I thought it was a nice jester.

*What kind of math do Snowy Owls like? โ€ฆOwlgebra


... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/gwildcat
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 18 2014
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During a conversation revealing a family friend had cancer...

While waiting for a table at a restaurant, we were discussing if my girlfriend's mom would cut off her hair when the friend lost hers. Suddenly her dad asks, "What kind of candy cow doesn't produce milk anymore?" We all stare blankly until he continued "Milk duds." After a moment of silence his wife suggests we get a drink from the bar while we wait.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LegendOfDylan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 14 2015
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Heres my favorite dad joke my dad tells anytime when we talk about milk.

What do you call a bomb that doesn't explode, but lands on a cow? A milk dud.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Smitee
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2014
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If a cow doesnโ€™t produce milk:

Is it a milk dud or an udder failure?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ElCapoDeSoldati
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 27 2019
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What do you call a cow that doesnt produce milk?

A milk dud

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Aderhold22
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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So if a cow doesn't produce milk,

Is it a Milk Dud or an Udder Failure?

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/JamesBihary
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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