My five yo son asked how he could spell pier...
So I said "it depends on which pier you mean. Can you use it in a sentence?"
His reply: "Yes. How do you spell pier?"
So, if Ani is short for Anikan, and Ben is short for Obi-Wan, and Fives is short for CT-27-5555, and Artoo is short for R2D2, and Chewy is short for Chewbacca, what is Luke short for?
Every time I hang out my laundry, the song "Nine to Five" starts playing...
Guess that's what I get for using Dolly pegs.
Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
A guy was in a booth giving out free high fives
Another guy comes up to him and asks “do you have any down lows?” The guy said “sorry I’m all out, you were too slow”
What has five toes but isn't your foot?
My foot.
Edit: Thanks a lot guys for the awards and upvotes. ;) :)
I named my dog Five miles
So i can tell Everyone i walked Five miles today
A man went to the doctor’s and told him, “I feel like such a failure. All five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up.”
He said, “Wow, that’s the worst case of parking son’s disease I’ve ever seen.”
Proud dad moment: My five year old and I were discussing Halloween candy. I told him I like Kit-Kats.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
I’ve waited five days and tried three times to post, Two men walk into a bar
My friend claims he can eat 5 five kilos of sausages
He's full of bologna
Edit:spelling
The feeding of the five Townshend.
It's a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It's a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
So today my five-year-old daughter made me proud...
She was eating watermelon, and she wanted to know how much it cost. (She's obsessed with prices lately.) I asked her how much she thought it cost, and she said, "I don't know, a melon dollars?"
For the past five years, I’ve said that i’m going to start jogging, but I never have
It’s starting to become a running joke at this point
A man is being taken to the gallows for his execution. The executioner asked if he had any last requests, and he asked for a high five.
The executioner left him hanging.
Authorities are searching for a four-foot tall woman who recently escaped from prison in upstate New York. She was serving a five year sentence for fraud after convincing a number of victims that she was a powerful psychic.
Now she's a small medium at large.
The twelve days of Jokemas, day five
Why was the cookie sad?
His mother was a wafer so long
"There are five types of people..." *holds up two fingers *
Those who understand roman numerals, and those who don't...
A father was reading a story to his five year old son.
His son asked him why the book was so fat. The father replied "It's a long story"
Don't try to high five an executioner....
They'll leave you hanging.
What do you call a five year old's to do list?
Why should you never ask a Klan member for a high five?
Because they always leave you hanging.
I got picked for this five-day-a-week, year-long sleep study. It pays $15,000 a month.
My five year old daughter, wearing a Sleeping Beauty dress, casually playing with Legos: "ROAR ROAR ROARRRR!"
Me: "Are you roaring at me or is that a Lego monster?"
Her: "Its me."
Me: "Why are you roaring at me?"
Her: "Because I'm Aurora!"
My five year old daughter, everyone. She came up with that on her own. I've never felt more proud!
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.
He gave one to three for five
I ate five cans of alphabet soup yesterday
And this morning I had a huge vowel movement.
My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60.
She's 97 now and we don't know where in the world she is!
my five year old just told me that he wasn't finished his yawn...
... i told him his yawn was expired.
(sadly, he didn't get it)
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.
And suddenly I’m the idiot....
If two's company & three's a crowd, what are four & five?
What has four letters, sometimes has nine, and never has five
How can two plus two be five?
My friend is annoyed because his dog keeps trying to pick fights with dogs five times his size.
I told him he shouldn’t have adopted that Cocky Spaniel.
After attempting for five hours to get this fence post to stand upright, I've finally realized
I told my friend his ‘hundred eggs in five days’ diet made me deathly ill.
He told me that was an eggsaturation.
My friend dumped a five hundred pound load of pig intestines on his boss's desk in protest...
When is five bucks a lot?
Why did the Japanese guy not get a high-five?
Because Logan Paul left him hanging!
My five year old son ’s dad in training comment when asked “what’s your address?”
Dad, I’m not a girl, I don’t wear dresses!
It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub, but a thirty-five minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering.
It’s a five minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.
The difference is staggering
The first five florists I called today knew absolutely nothing about laying carpet or tile.
And suddenly I’m the idiot.....
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