I've never been a fan of corn fields.

Something about them is just earie.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schneef_Jerky
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
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I once got lost in a corn field

It was an a-maize-ing experience

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gssn-nospace
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
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I thought of a new joke that started in a corn field...

But I'm not going to post it bc it's too corny.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lord_Smile
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2019
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Don't tell secrets in corn fields.

Too many ears around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
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Have you ever been to a corn field in the middle of the night

And felt like you were being STALKED It can feel very EARY Sorry about this pun being too CORNY The joke must really SHUCK

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoTimedGamer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
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I watched a documentary about corn fields

It was really quite amaizeing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_thomas1
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Two corn stalks are standing in a field. One leans over to the other and whispers, β€œHey I gotta tell you something, you got a minute?” The other corn stalk says...

β€œSure, I’m all ears.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/caferreri11
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2019
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Why was the farmer afraid to go in his corn field?

He was afraid of being stalked.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/x4candles
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2017
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Did you hear about the labyrinth in the corn field?

It's amaizing.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/peckerbrown
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
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Don't follow someone through a corn field

They might think you're stalking them

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_otterinabox
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2017
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Did you hear about the guy who got lost in a corn field?

I heard it was quite the maize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Godzilla_KOM
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2017
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Why can't you sneak up on someone in a corn field?

There's ears everywhere!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Half_a_halfling
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2017
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Three women were on the run from the law (A brunette, a blonde, and a redhead).

Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks. The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow." "Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says. The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof." "That's just a sack of puppies" they say. The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wmd1234
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2020
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I know, it's a little corny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/babydoll_bd
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2018
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[Meta] The real purpose of dad jokes

Back in the before times, when sit-down restaurants existed, I used to order boneless cheese sticks and would just throw the word "boneless" in front of any appetizer with 100% corniness. The purpose of this isn't to make a good joke. It's not a good joke. The purpose is to make my dining companions catch some cringe splash damage and want to crawl into a hole and die out of embarrassment for my being horribly corny.

But there is a real, deeper purpose that I've discovered entirely by accident. People, especially young people, are so self-conscious and worried about saying or doing something embarrassing that it taints a lot of social gatherings. They go to a restaurant and are afraid to speak up even when their order is blatantly wrong. They'll tip well even when the food took an hour to arrive and the server has disappeared into the corn stalks behind a baseball field. It takes 2 hours of hanging out together before some friends finally stop nitpicking themselves, uncomfortable in their own bodies and brains, feeling perpetually judged, and begin to relax. These are the kinds of people who go to sleep every night replaying cringey moments from high school. Their last thought of the day is when the Burger King girl said, "Enjoy your meal!" and they said, "Thanks, you too."

It takes 2 hours and/or a lot of booze before they're comfortable enough to take conversational risks and truly reveal themselves. But if I come right out of the gate with a really dumb joke, then we can cut to the chase. There's less danger because someone in the group already shot themselves in the foot, right off the bat. They pulled a pin on the cringe grenade and then jumped on it.

You cringe at my dumb joke and then we're over the hump. Someone has already done something pretty stupid, so go ahead and order the hubcap of nachos and a massive chocolate shake because nobody is going to judge you poorly while they're all judging me.

In terms of price negotiations (haggling), there is a psychological concept called "anchoring". You throw out the first number and all subsequent numbers are compared to that number. This is the same idea. We've already set the humor standard pretty low at "boneless cheese sticks", so you can say the dumbest shit you want and, as long as it's not worse than my cheesy joke, it won't matter.

This is why, when you were a teenager and your dad took you and some friends out, your dad made corny jokes. He knew they were corny jokes. You and your friends un

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Permatato
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2020
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What has ears but cannot hear?

A field of corn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2019
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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My Girlfriend is the best...

She has beautiful long black hair, flowing half way down her back...

Not on her head but half way down her back.

Her teeth are so even!

1, 3, 5, and 7 are missing.

At night I would take her into the corn field and kiss her between the ears...

One night it was extremely foggy outside and I mist.

Basically, you could tell she was a farmers daughter because it was hard to "a tractor"

Sometimes I call her (knob) because she is one to adore.

Even wrote her a song entitled "How can I love you if you never go away"

The best...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wicked-Spade
πŸ“…︎ Aug 11 2018
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Dad joked my own dad.

We were in Illinois when we go to see some family out in the "country." So as we are driving through rows of corn fields (and it was late at night, we were in the middle of now where), I turned to my dad and said, "Ever since watching "Children of the Corn," driving through rows of corn has always been a bit ear-y." He didn't know how to respond...

Edit: "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThePancakes67
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2014
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Dadjoked my friend's facebook status

Status: What ever happened to Corn Pops?

My response: They pick it in fields now. And don't call me pops.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCompanionCube
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2014
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Living near a farm

We lived near a farm that had a corn field adjacted to the road we lived on. So I'd get this one on a regular basis..

*Us driving by the field

  • Dad: Hey, don't tell me any secrets.
  • Me: Why not?
  • Dad: Because the Ear's are listening.

He must've thought that was the funniest thing in the whole world. "A real "Knee Slapper"". Then he would slap his knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hunterliv
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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What has ears but cannot hear?

A field of corn.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Wanna hear something very corny?

A field of corn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TJPancaker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
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Road trips are prime time for dad jokes

Passing a graveyard Dad "I wonder how many dead people are in there?" Victim "I don't know..." Dad "All of them, I hope. or Dad "You know, people are just dying to get in there."

Passing a corn field Dad "Wow, just look at all that corn. It's a-maize-ing!"

After a haircut Victim "Dad, did you get a hair cut?" Dad "No, I got 'em all cut."

I realized after I posted this that I included the haircut joke after a road trip title. It was a late night of good beer (with Dad, of course) and I remembered it and thought it needed to be included.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hnnhwk
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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