What is green, fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you?
I fell head-first into some bushes today.
What do you call a guy that fell out of a seventh story building?
What did the horse say when he fell down?
"I've fallen, and I can't giddyup"
Police have confirmed that the man who tragically fell from the roof of an 18th floor nightclub
I opened the refrigerator and an orange soda fell out, making me blush.
That’s what happens when you’re surprised by your crush.
"Daddy, how come the first astronaut on the Moon didn't fell down?"
"Daddy, how come the first astronaut on the Moon didn't fell down?"
"He held himself on the Moon with his strong hands."
"Oh, Armstrong."
My phone fell in the toilet.
I had to sanitize the shit out of it.
Why couldn't they hear Helen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff?
My friend was panning for gold in the creek when he fell down..
Did you hear about the guy who fell into a well?
I got carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.
The cashier said never mind.
What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed?
Fell asleep listening to the Goo Goo Dolls and woke up bald
A book fell on my head.
I can only blame my shelf.
An Indian guy fell through the roof at a Lionel Ritchie concert
The last thing I saw was Dan Singh on the celling
Why did the bicycle fell over?
Because it was two tired.
What did the little pony say after it fell?
Help, I’ve fallen and can’t giddy up
There where a couple of pigeons sitting on my fence earlier, so I shouted at them and they both fell off and died.
I didn't know you could kill two birds with one's tone.
My dad went to a trendy club last night and fell down while dancing.
Apparently it was a hip joint.
At dinner, some of my pasta fell off my fork onto my arm
Son: You almost dropped that on your new watch!
Me: It’s okay, it’s waterproof.
Son: but, is it pasta proof?
Me: Yes, I made sure I got the pasta proof one.
Son: Nice! Did you pay extra for that?
Me: Yes, they charged me an extra penne.
A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar,
Once upon a time two weights fell in love at the gym ...
... and they lift heavily ever after.
I taught my biology class with a mislabelled diagram of the human digestive system and they completely fell for it
What did Grandpa say before he fell off the ladder?
Hey you little shit! Stop shaking the ladder!
What would happen if a piano fell on you
I was at Costco today and a whole rack of Omega 3 pills fell on me
I'm ok though. It was just super fish oil injuries.
We fell WAY behind on construction today when one of the roofers got sick and didn’t show...
A bottle of Omega 3 Fatty Acids fell on my head yesterday at the store.
Don’t worry I only got super fish oil injuries.
I fell in love with a German baker
She had stollen my heart.
She fell in love with...
She fell in love with an electrician, and she got shocked.She fell in love with an artist, and things got sketchy.She fell in love with a musician, and she got played.She fell in love with a photographer...
A thief fell into wet cement.
He became a hardened criminal.
A guy slipped and fell today and ended up with cheese on his butt.
A factory worker died when he fell into a vat of coffee and drowned
His wife was quoted as saying “at least he didn’t suffer; it was instant”
What did Sean Connery say when a book fell onto his head?
Two bed bugs fell in love.
They’re getting married in the spring.
My dog fell in a bowl of dough yesterday.
I made a model of Chewbacca from snickerdoodles, but it fell to pieces. Oh well...
I guess that's how the wookie crumbles.
What did the undertaker say when the coffin fell from the funeral car?
We'll have to rehearse it.
Riker fell down a Jeffries tube and was helped out by the captain.
He was hoisted up by his own Picard.
My son told me he almost fell asleep in math class
But he got 8 hours of sleep so something just doesn't add up.
I tripped over a drumstick and fell face first into the drum!
I think I have a bad percussion!
What did the horse say when it fell?
"Help, I've fallen and I can't giddy up!"
What did the horse say when he fell?
“I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”
I was getting carded at a liquor store, and my Blockbuster card accidentally fell out.
The cashier said, “Never mind.”
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