Came in from the cold and my girlfriend said β€œYour eyelashes are icicles!”

I said β€œand my balls are testicles”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/gonna_be_famous
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2021
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Eyelashes are supposed to keep things from getting into your eyes, but when I do have something in my eye it's almost always an eyelash...

... how EYEronic!

πŸ‘︎ 89
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BastetLXIX
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
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You know what I do when someone pulls on my eyelashes?

I lash out.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmn2207
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2019
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if you attack someone with eyelashes does it mean you lash out at them
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/13434O
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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Why do eyelashes poke you in the eye?

Because they're lashing out!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryanosaurus03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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If my wish doesn't come true, eyelash out
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/robjzh5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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An eyelash just fell into my dessert

Good thing I ordered eyes-cream

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/funkysocks24
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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GF this morning: *Rubs my face* I have an eyelash

Me: yes, and you've got many more

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/arrederre
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2016
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They should've seen that coming
πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brawl_Noob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2019
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I love jokes about the eyes.

The cornea the better

πŸ‘︎ 120
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ecjg2010
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2019
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Dadjoked my gf about her nipples

After sexy time last night, she goes "why do you always like my nipples so much?". I responded... "because without them your boobs are pointless". I died laughing and she sat there batting her eyelashes at me in disbelief.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calicagoan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2014
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What did the eye get from its dad after being naughty?

Eyelashes

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Henhen21
πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2019
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Dadjoked my fiancΓ©e last night...

As she was doing her makeup in the car, she was looking around for something she lost.

Me: Did you lose your eyelash brush?

Her: Eyelash brush? That's not a thing.

Me: Sorry, eyelash comb.

Her: No! That's not a thing either!

Me: Hey now, there's no reason to lash out at me...

Her: glares

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2015
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Eyelashes are supposed to prevent things from getting in your eyes but when I do have something in my eye, it's always an eyelash.

Eyeronic!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raven_007
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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