The executioner left him hanging.
I was left hanging.
Breaking Noose
Heads will roll if word of this gets around.
Me on the phone with my dad - "I got a cat!"
Dad - "What's it's name?"
Me - "Susan."
Dad - "So it's a girl?"
Me - "Of course...her name's Susan. Do you think I'd name a boy cat Susan?"
Dad - "No...I suppose that if it was a boy, it would B. Anthony."
Good one, Dad...
"The guillotine truly was cutting-edge technology at the time."
A dad within earshot said he appreciated my sharp wit.
Don Quichoté.
New dad 9/14/14, finally can legit post in here (=
Me: Oh, It's International Joke Day!
CW: I have a joke, but I don't think it will go down well
Me: Do any of your jokes ever go down well?
CW: Well, my TV joke normally gets a good reception.
I only have one.
The Americans supported the cause of the French Revolution, but not the execution.
Puns off the names Robespierre, Saint Just, etc especially requested.
Because he was below C-level.
The jokes weren't that good ,but I liked the execution
You have to be ruthless.
I would hang the thieves that were caught stealing. One day I got fired, It's because I didn't get the execution right.
(badum tss)
They are expected to make an appearance in Food Court next week.
Good evening. I'll see my self out...
I didn't execute it properly
Unless they're properly executed, that it.
But I fear I may get executed. People are too judgy nowadays.
What's wobbly in the sky A jellycopter
Not the best execution, but I'm happy he's joining the tradition of bad jokes
But I wasn't sure how to execute it
It has poor execution .
(Booty Judge)
Me: She's just a robot, I don't think she ever feels fear.
My son: She's scared of getting Alexa-cuted.
R, I, and the seven c’s
But he was so badly executed.
I call him my mane man
It felt like I was speaking to 50 Cent.
Got quite a few groans I was pretty proud of today!
We were talking about hiring a new manager for a field team, and it turned out the guy we liked the most had several felony convictions for gun possession.
COO: I'm not sure we can take the risk, despite his valuable experience.
Me: Well guys, at least we know he'll stick to his guns.
I'll make a very good dad one day.
I'm creating a drinking game where every important event equals to drinking, but I am nowhere close to NAMING my drinking game. A friend of mine recommended this subreddit, saying that people drop some really punny puns here. Give your ideas for a title, I think up to 6 words would be okay.
Let's see what you can do!
What you need to know about the game:
- You can create your timeline based on packages (ages, countries, continents, etc).
- Every important event has a normal action and drinking action.
- You never know in which year you are located but get an estimate year. You can either guess the year (or date) and get a free pass or you have to execute the action or drinking action. When you guess wrong, you'll have to double it.
That's basically it.
guess it was a pretty good relation-ship
please don't execute me
I defended myself saying "I've barely scratched the Surface"
A chem ex
You know how you can tell the difference between an alligator and a crocodile? ...One will see you later, the other will see you in a while.
Me being the only other dad in the room silently chuckled while the other 3 non-dad executives let out an audible groan.
Linked’in park
He really lost his mind.
Via Billboard.
CROW-VID-19
Apparently, the board didn't approve of the bottom-up harakiri
Because they were hair-ticks
Good concept, bad execution.
The woman tries to pity the judge: -Judge, I carried this child 9 months in my belly, it is the flesh of my flesh and it comes directly to me! The judge is moved and says: -Right mam, but now, lets listen to your husband's arguments. The man prefers to use his pragmatic side, and says: -Judge, when I put my coin in the vending machine,Is the can mine or is it to the machine?
