my brother in law was addicted to the hokey pokey. it took him a while but eventually he...
π︎ 15
π
︎ Nov 20 2020
When I was in high school in Belleville, ON, a young local artist spray-painted a beautiful picture on a large concrete wall under a bridge by the Moira river. He didn't get permission to do this, however, and the city eventually painted over it.
Watching his picture go like that must've been pretty demuralizing.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 19 2020
All of the world eventually got the virus
But China got it right off the bat
π︎ 18
π
︎ Nov 18 2020
Two antenna met on a roof and eventually got married
The ceremony wasnβt much but the reception was incredible
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 14 2020
One time my friends really wanted me to join them for a fishing excursion. I didn't want to at first but eventually joined them...
I am afraid that I succumbed to pier pressure.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 24 2020
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Sep 15 2020
As the bears ripen, they become heavier and eventually fall off π
π︎ 22
π
︎ Jun 29 2020
To prove he was right, the flat earther walked to the edge of the Earth.
He eventually came around.
π︎ 13k
π
︎ Dec 12 2020
My dog happily chased a fly around the house, eventually nabbing it in one chomp.
I guess it's true: time's fun when you're having flies!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Aug 09 2020
I knew my dad's influence would eventually pay off.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jul 28 2020
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 1k
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
I didn't like Africa by Toto at first, or any of their other songs. But eventually I grew to really like them
I guess love isn't always on time
π︎ 17
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
Poor Bart eventually caught Coronavirus..
...He was displaying the usual Simpsons.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 24 2020
Eventually everyone will be quarantined to their homes without sports and in 9 months babies will be born.
They will be known as the Coronials
π︎ 9
π
︎ Mar 14 2020
If you ever get locked out of your house just talk to the lock.
π︎ 250
π
︎ Sep 27 2020
Mona Lisa was once accused of murder....
Turns out, she was framed.
π︎ 72
π
︎ Oct 17 2020
In college, I used to live on a houseboat, and started dating the girl next door.
Eventually we drifted apart.
π︎ 659
π
︎ Oct 30 2020
The family wanted to visit some caverns.
I didnβt want to go, but eventually I caved.
π︎ 10
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
I was going to get a face tattoo but decided to get a neck tattoo instead.
I guess Iβll have to work my way up to it.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 07 2020
A guy is walking along, and he continues to walk. Eventually he walks into a well. Why did the guy walk into a well?
He couldnβt see that well
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
Eventually, weβre all doomed to end up in super modern offices where the walls are whiteboards
The writing is on the wall
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 10 2019
Once a Bank of America Bank cheque was lying next to a Wells Fargo Bank cheque, they started talking to each other and became friends....eventually, they became so close that they became
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
A murderer who had poisoned his victims with iron supplements eventually and inadvertantly poisoned himself.
When he realized his mistake, he immediately called the police and confessed to all of the killings before laying down upon his death bed awaiting his own end, the same end that he had inflicted upon so many others. News media quickly came to the hospital and the killer was eventually asked two questions by two seperate reporters, one question following the other so quickly that he could not respond to the first before hearing the second. The first reporter asked, "How did the coffee taste that tipped you off into realizing you had poisoned yourself?" Where the second reporter blurted out, "How would you describe this situation where you have killed yourself by the very means you used to kill others?"
The murderous man only responded once before breathing his last breath:
"Irony," he replied.
π︎ 188
π
︎ Feb 09 2019
Trying to remember a joke about boomerangs I heard as a kid...
Hopefully itβll come back to me eventually.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Years ago at my first IT startup we thought we'd caught a big break when we were asked to set up the campus network at a major college. However, the project eventually fell through when they failed to secure the necessary funding.
I still think about it sometimes - the WAN that got away.
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 05 2019
I used to play triangle in a reggae band but eventually left...
...it was just one ting after another
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 11 2019
I hate train puns.
They eventually run off the rails.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Oct 29 2020
My wife hated my impulse purchase of a revolving chair, but then she sat on it.
Eventually she came around.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ Jul 02 2020
My friend stole my broken pen but eventually returned it.
That doesn't make it write.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Apr 26 2019
I was struggling to find a sale on boating equipment. Eventually I did find one.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 25 2019
Did tou hear about the kidnapping at school?
No need to worry. He eventually woke up.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Nov 24 2020
The phone was ringing for a while and I eventually got up to get it.
"Are you going to answer that call anytime today?" yelled my wife.
"No," I replied. "Probably a simple 'hello' will suffice."
π︎ 28
π
︎ Jun 29 2019
*This is a literal Dad Joke my father used to tell when I was a kid about 30 years ago. He's almost 80 now and it still makes him laugh.* - So, there was this man named James Fart. Everybody made fun of him since he was very young. "James Fart! James Fart" the bullies used to make him cry...
He came of age among this suffering and at 21 was finally able to legally change his name. He arrived at the government office where he presented himself:
-I'm James Fart and I want to legally change my name!
Of course they laughed at him (everybody did) but eventually they all settled and came around to the situation.
-Ok, so... your current name is.. Β·chucklesΒ· James Fart... I'm sorry, I just...
-I know, everybody has been laughing at my name since as long as I can remember.
After a long and tedious process, everything is ready.
-Very well, sorry for the delays but you know how hard this protocols are. The good news: you are no longer "James Fart", what name do you want instead?
-Charles Fart.
π︎ 8k
π
︎ May 06 2020
I debated a flat earther once. He stormed off saying heβd walk to the edge of the Earth to prove me wrong.
Heβll come around, eventually.
π︎ 16k
π
︎ May 17 2020
Did you hear the rumor about butter ?
Well, I''m not going to spread it
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
When in college, I made a bookcase out of bricks and boards, which eventually fell to pieces...
It had a short shelf life!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 27 2019
I went to buy a funeral plot in preparation for my eventual death...
I have to say, I had grave reservations when I left.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 03 2018
It took the Simian Council weeks of tense negotiating for a new Constitution, but eventually...
it all ended with a Round of Ape Laws.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 27 2019
The toucan once faced fierce competition in it's ecological niche.
Eventually, though, it came to dominate the toucannot.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
All countries eventually got Coronavirus...
But China got it right off the bat.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
All countries eventually got the coronavirus but...
china got it right of the bat
π︎ 21
π
︎ Aug 31 2020
All countries got coronavirus eventually, but...
China got it right off the bat!
π︎ 7
π
︎ Aug 30 2020
Evolution is so strange. Dolphins started off as sea creatures, then evolved to have legs, only to eventually return to the sea and lose them.
Kinda defeets the porpoise, don't you think?
π︎ 6k
π
︎ Sep 15 2019
Every country will eventually get coronavirus, but china got it right off the bat
π︎ 43
π
︎ Apr 05 2020
Every country will get COVID-19 eventually...
but China got it right off the bat.
π︎ 25
π
︎ Mar 25 2020
To prove he was right, the "flat earther" walked to the end of the Earth
He eventually came around
π︎ 300
π
︎ Dec 09 2020
I tried to organize a Hide and Seek tournament, but I eventually gave up.
Good players are hard to find.
π︎ 752
π
︎ May 10 2019
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