Simple but effective pun
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 07 2019
Me, to my wife: They said that the Covid vaccines are safe and has no side effects.
My wife: Who did?
Me: Yep.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Dec 13 2020
Effects of Corona
π︎ 36
π
︎ Dec 07 2020
My vaccine dad joke failed
π︎ 11k
π
︎ Jan 02 2021
100% effective method to not go to jail
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Aug 03 2020
When you finish all the ranch on your salad, youβve effectively undressed the salad.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Oct 28 2020
I still experience long-lasting psychological effects from having a childhood friend that took offense at everything I did.
My doctor calls it Irritable Pal Syndrome.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 15 2020
Doctors say some effects of COVID-19 may follow patients for life.
You could say it's a choronic disease.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Got a pay rise of $1000 today, effective immediately.
What a grand start to the weekend.
π︎ 32
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
Recent studies are examining the effects of replacing birdbath water with alcohol
Its bird-gin-ing research.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 27 2020
In the history of crime literature, which character has been the most effective at getting people out of prison?
The dot "."
It has ended more sentences than anything else.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Sep 28 2020
When people ask about my heritage, I tell them there is an unfortunate side effect of my mother being Italian and my father being Polish ....
Iβll make you an offer I canβt understand.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 15 2020
Why do movie makers record laser gun sound effects in churches?
Because they go βpew pew pewβ.
π︎ 91
π
︎ Jul 23 2020
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
π︎ 28
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
Studies have shown that sheepskin face masks are incredibly effective...
They keep the baahhhhhd germs out.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But they concluded a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Nice perfumeance!
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...
...I'm feeling a little Flemish.Β Β cough
π︎ 4
π
︎ Sep 11 2020
Ambushed
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Sep 04 2020
We know the effects of second hand smoke are terrible.
Does anyone have peer reviewed studies on the effects of minute hand smoke?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 13 2020
What is the most effective way to quit being vegan?
π︎ 242
π
︎ Feb 12 2020
The instructor in my self defence class told me that the most effective place to kick a man is near his knees.
Personally, I think itβs nuts.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Apr 01 2019
Oral-B
Oral-B
Was sitting with my SO watching tv and an Oral-B commercial comes onto the screen. The commercial plays saying all the great things about their toothbrush, how effective it is against plaque buildup and that 9/10 dentist recommend it etc. after listening for a minute I look over at my SO and say βwell it better be good, ORAL-B disappointed!β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 11 2020
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.
Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis
π︎ 4
π
︎ May 29 2020
βͺWhatβs the most effective marketing strategy to sell audio books?β¬
π︎ 8
π
︎ May 06 2020
Scientists are studying the effect of drugs on various seabirds.
They're leaving no tern unstoned.
π︎ 16
π
︎ Apr 22 2020
Why is sign language more effective than regular speech?
Because actions speak louder than words.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
Have you ever heard of the Crows Law Of Energy Conservation?
It's also known as the Law of Caws and Effect
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 10 2020
Going Viral
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Mar 05 2020
Did you ever hear about the Samurai with only a 6 inch sheathe knife who was still an effective and deadly killer?
He was a one-hilt wonder.
π︎ 24
π
︎ Feb 12 2020
Letting you all know that I've volunteered for the Russian vaccine trials held here in Melbourne. I received my first shot at 9.00 am this morning
Itβs completely safe with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveΡ, and im currently feelshΞΊΞΉ ΟoΟoshΟ Ρ ΡΡΠ²ΡΡΠ²ΡΡ ΡΠ΅Π±Ρ Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ ΡΡΡΠ°Π½Π½ΠΎ ΠΈ Ρ Π΄ΡΠΌΠ°Ρ, ΡΡΠΎ Π²ΡΡΠ°ΡΠΈΠ» ΠΎΡΠ»ΠΈΠ½ΡΠ΅ ΡΡΠΈ.
π︎ 107
π
︎ Sep 17 2020
*sad cat fishing noises*
I just saw an ad for a dating app before Sam Smiths, I Want Something to Die for, song. Guess thatβs the after effect for using dating apps, who knew
π︎ 2
π
︎ Nov 01 2020
There is a new found side effect of coronavirus.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Feb 28 2020
Tho these are more backbreaking. Dynamite or TNT would be more effective
π︎ 16
π
︎ Nov 02 2019
What's more effective than a heat-seeking missile?
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Apr 17 2018
Why did the Russian vaccine cross the road?
To get to the other side effects.
~~ brazenly stolen from Alexa with my own twist.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 24 2020
TIL the first photo was not from 1826, but in fact over 2000 years earlier in ancient egypt:
"TheΒ earliest exampleΒ of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, itβs a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"
...the very, very first faux toe ;)
Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects
π︎ 9
π
︎ Oct 26 2020
Initially the US was way behind other countries in COVID-19 cases.
Little did those countries know, the US had a Trump card.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
A person who studies how nut allergies effect the human body
Are they known as a Nutty Professor?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 29 2019
My Gf just pointed out that pasteurization has become really effective this year
Our milk lasts the rest of this decade!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Dec 26 2019
A conductor kissed a girl in his bus, police took the conductor to jail and gave him electric shocks but it had no effect. Why?
because he was a bad conductor.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 26 2019
It took scientists 15 tries to create the perfect sleep aid. Attempts A-N had no effect..
But a Pill-O helped everyone sleep better.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 20 2020
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain because...
π︎ 11
π
︎ Apr 23 2020
Keeping tropical fish at at home can have a calming effect on the brain.
Due to all the indoor fins.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Mar 04 2020
Scientist studying the effect of cannabis on seabirds, have left no tern unstoned.
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Aug 15 2018
Keeping tropical fish in your home has a calming effect on the brain
because of the indoor fins.
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
Keeping tropical fish at home can have a calming effect on the brain
Due to all the indoor fins.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 18 2019
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
