What do Mexicans eat when it's cold out?
Cant Have Your Cake And Eat It - Nearly
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I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"
"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"
There's a South American country where they have a rare pepper. Instead of being hot when you eat it, it makes your mouth feel cold.
It's called the Chilly Chile Chili.
This food I made, will they eat it?
My daughter thinks it’s weird that I eat a bowl of corn flakes every single day for breakfast
But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
What is hungry, but it can't eat?
I went to an "all-you-can-eat" buffet, but it was rubbish.
There was plenty of stuff that I can eat which wasn't there.
I love molasses, but I can’t eat it.
I can’t stop thinking about all those poor little moles.
It's easy to convince ladies not to eat Tide Pods
But its harder to deter gents
Every time I finish my jog, I like to eat a protein bar. Lately, though, I'm having trouble swallowing it
I hope it doesn't become a running gag
My downstairs neighbor complains that whenever I eat Doritos on my porch, it gets all over him on his patio. As usual, he's exaggerating.
He just has a chip on his shoulder.
Why is it wasteful to eat a clock?
Because it's time consuming.....
What does a cat like to eat on its birthday?
What do you call it when a panda eats all of your tall grass?
My son refuses to eat rice if it in not white.
I said “Son, that’s ricest!”
What do you call it when you only eat apple everyday?
How does a crab feel when it eats too much?
I saw an interview with Sean Connery about how he used to scuba dive for seafood. He said, "everytime I saw a crab or lobster with a scrap of food, it was frantically seaching for a place to hide so it could eat alone. Then I thought to myself,
Whenever I eat burnt toast it makes me feel sick.
I guess I’m just black toast intolerant.
If you get a message from the government warning not to eat tinned meat because is contains Covid-19, just ignore it.
I don’t think it’s wise to “eat the rich.”
They’re all spoiled rotten.
It's not very often I eat carpaccio or tartare.
In fact, I'd say it's extremely rare
Beelieve me or not there is a small ball of pollen in the beehind legs of the bees and they also have the abeelity to eat it
My daughter was playing with my computer and she broke the R button and tried to eat it.
What do you call it when lightning McQueen eats a car?
You can’t have your steak and eat it...
God: "Don't eat the apple from that tree. It's forbidden."
Eve: "Hold up! Who is Bidden and why does he get all the apples?!"
Was discussing groceries with my parents earlier tonight when my mom declared (of my dad), "he buys cereal then never eats it!"
I immediately interjected, "Wait: Are you saying dad is a cereal offender‽"
What's it called when you're reeling in a fish you've just caught, and another one comes along and eats it?
When I eat alphabet soup I only eat the A E I O U (and sometimes Y) out of it
So later I can have a nice big vowel movement.
😎
Affectionately,
Dad
How does a Pokemon eat it's food?
What do you call it when you eat a tiny bit of another person?
What looks like an apple, smells like an apple, tastes like an apple but you should never eat it?
*Sitting around the campfire with the fam, roasting hotdogs* You'd better eat that hotdog before it gets cold.
Me: Because then it would be ..... a chili dog.
What do you call it when you eat at a mall and you're satisfied by your meal?
If you could eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Is it ok to eat salad?
It romaines unanswered...
Is it safe to eat Salad yet?
My daughter's baby wouldn't eat any of its dinner, so I suggested, "Try the airplane!"
She looked at me confused and asked, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980's, but that's not important right now!"
I never thought I would start to eat some cheese and not finish it.
But then I saw bergkase.
Now I'm a brie-leaver.
It's weird when I eat wheat, it gives me a huge headache But, if I get the wheat from someone else, I'm fine. It's just migraine.
I went to an exotic seafood restaurant that serves clown fish, but I didn't eat it.
What does the train say when it eats?
My Kids Will Only Eat Scrambled Food and It's Terrible.
How can I make them less eggcentric?
I didn't want to eat my food because I accidentally put too much ketchup on it.
I guess Heinzsight is 20/20.
What does a computer eat when it’s hungry?
What do you call it when a can of soup eats another can of soup?
A squirrel is living in a pine tree, when one day, he feels it shaking, looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree. The squirrel shrieks, “What are you doing climbing my tree?” “Well, I’m coming up here to eat some pears.” says the elephant.
“You idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears!”
“Well I brought my own pears.”
My wife thinks it is not wrong to steal and eat the eggs i just fried
These are not poached eggs, she says.
Every time I eat msg it makes me go
What do you call it when you eat a waffle on a beach in California?
Why is it that panhandlers are only allowed to eat liquid meals?
Because beggars can’t be chewsers
My vegetarian daughter asked me how I still can eat anything from KFC after all she's told me about it.
I made it clear to her that it indeed was an ethical dilemma for me to hen dle.
What does a frog eat when it wants a hot meal?
Why can't hyenas bring their food back to their dens before they eat it?
It'd be too much carrion'
Son: Dad, do you ever eat your steak with the blood still in it?
Dad: I do, Son, but it's very rare. 🍖
When an ant eats another ant it's called cantabalism
When an ant refuses to eat another ant it's also called cantabalism
Why does it take all afternoon to eat all of the herbs in the pantry?
Because it’s a thyme consuming activity.
"I can't wait to eat that steak, Budapest will love it."
"Who's Budapest?"
"That's my stomach's name, because it's the capital of HUNGRY."
What do you call it when a sloth eats a second plate of food?
What do you call someone who eats fruit before its ripe?
What do you call someone who eats fruit before its ripe?
A statutory grapist..
What's the name of that dog that likes to eat other dogs? Oh thats right, it's the...
My wife wants to eat pizza so frequently that it sometimes annoys me.
When we began discussing what to dine on this evening, she says to me, "How about we have something for dinner that starts with a 'p' and ends with an 'a' and isn't pasta?"
I roll my eyes and groan animatedly.
"There is no way a single pea is going to feed all three of us!"
^^She ^^laughed ^^harder ^^at ^^that ^^than ^^any ^^of ^^my ^^previous ^^corny ^^jibes, ^^so ^^I ^^thought ^^I'd ^^share...
What does a snake eat when it's sick?
It's impressive how much I eat
It leaves my flatmate completely breadless.
What do you call it when your friends encourage you to eat more fruit?
Me: Anything to eat? Wife: There's salmon I baked in the fridge. Me: Next time you should bake it the oven. Waka waka waka!
My sister: I had two cheese sticks and a cookie for dinner My dad: well you need to have a balanced meal. You better eat another cookie to even it out.
What do you call it when someone eats something as part of a joke?
How bad is it if your male cow eats a stick of dynamite?
I always eat Greek food to cure my hangover but it never works.
You can't have your cake and eat it, dad said.
Worst 6th birthday party ever!
So have you ever had something just right in front of you and you just wanted to eat it?
on an unrelated note i lost my job as a gynecologist today...
Why do you heat up shawarma before you eat it?
Otherwise, it'd be called Sha-cold-a.
What do you call it when Eminem eats M&Ms?
We were eating breakfast this morning and as my son was reaching for a banana, I suddenly yelled, "Don't eat that! We need to take it to a doctor immediately!""
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods. It's more difficult to deter gents, though.
I hear it's easy to get ladies not to eat Tide pods
It's more difficult to deter gents though
You can’t have your cake and eat it too, but you can halve your cake and eat it two.
Did you know it's easy to teach girls not to eat tide pods?
It's much harder to deter gents.
My daughter was trying to feed her baby, but she wasn't having any of it and wouldn't eat any of her dinner...
"Try the Airplane." I said.
"Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980's but that's not important right now..."
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