My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
π︎ 78
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?"
Son: "What are my choices?"
Dad: βYesβ or βnoβ
π︎ 116
π
︎ Nov 25 2020
My 6 yr old son has an attitude problem at the dinner table. He barely eats and always makes the rudest comments about the home-cooked food we provide him, so tonight we tried alphabet soup.
I really hope he eats his words.
π︎ 9
π
︎ Nov 06 2020
My pen ran out of ink and an ink fairy in the shape of a squid appeared. He said if I let him eat my dinner of shrimp he'd help me out by giving me some ink. The deal smelled kind of fishy, but I needed to finish my homework.
So we did it squid pro quo
π︎ 27
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
My son decided to eat dinner outside despite the pouring rain...
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 09 2020
What two things can you eat, but not for dinner?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 03 2020
What did the cannibal eat for dinner?
π︎ 15
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
My wife asked me to whip us up some dinner to eat during the impeachment coverage.
I told her, "I am not a cook."
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 20 2019
What does a Russian ghost eat for dinner?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Dec 03 2019
What does tired Garfield eat for dinner?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 02 2019
I bought some ready to eat dinner at the store today, and when I got home, I was ready to eat dinner.
You really are what you eat.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 28 2019
Texted my dad to figure out what we wanted to eat for dinner, and got this one
Me: "So, what do you want to do for dinner?"
Him: "Eat, lol. You?"
π︎ 98
π
︎ Mar 28 2019
My son was refusing to eat dinner, so I tried to force feed him.
My wife said, βUse the fricking spoon. You are not a Jedi.β
π︎ 109
π
︎ Apr 06 2019
My daughter didn't want to eat her dinner so I said "Ok that's fine, technically you can go the rest of your life without eating."
"You'd starve to death but that technically was the rest of your life."
π︎ 13
π
︎ Aug 17 2019
What does Gru (from Despicable Me) like to eat for dinner?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jul 26 2019
What do barbers like to eat for dinner?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Mar 09 2019
My daughter's baby wouldn't eat any of its dinner, so I suggested, "Try the airplane!"
She looked at me confused and asked, "Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980's, but that's not important right now!"
π︎ 23
π
︎ Jan 31 2019
Wife told me to take out the trash, so i ask her where she want to eat for dinner tonight.
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 01 2019
How much of my dinner can I eat?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jun 09 2019
What do sea monsters eat for dinner?
π︎ 14
π
︎ Apr 19 2019
Why did the winner not eat his chicken dinner?
It smelled a little fowl.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 06 2019
Not sure which frozen dinner Iβve scheduled to eat tonight
Iβll have to check my Marie Calendar
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 20 2019
What does Godzilla eat for dinner?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Mar 01 2019
Added a rainbow to my dinner stir fry... I'm trying to eat light.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 10 2018
I had to eat dessert for dinner
Because the main course was so off-pudding
π︎ 10
π
︎ Nov 09 2018
Sitting at the dinner table, (kid) can dogs eat corn? (Wife) No because they will turn into corn dogs (dad) that was corny
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 21 2018
What do Italians eat for dinner on Halloween?
π︎ 2
π
︎ Oct 30 2018
What does a crap like to eat for dinner?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Sep 18 2018
My sister: I had two cheese sticks and a cookie for dinner My dad: well you need to have a balanced meal. You better eat another cookie to even it out.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 06 2018
What do politicians eat for dinner?
Democrats: chicken cordon bleu
Republicans: chicken cordon red
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jul 18 2018
Where do carrots eat their dinner?
π︎ 16
π
︎ Jan 08 2018
I Work in a pediatric hospital and today the doctor asked a young boy "Do you eat at breakfast, lunch, and dinner?"
The young boy turned to the doctor and said "No. I eat at school and when I'm at home."
He's going to make a great Dad someday!
π︎ 17
π
︎ Dec 20 2017
Where does a person who is annoyed all the time eat dinner?
π︎ 13
π
︎ Nov 18 2016
what does Karl Marx eat for dinner?
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Communist Manepesto
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 14 2016
So my girlfriend didn't want to eat the cheesy rice her mother made for dinner that night...
And her dad says
"God haley... Stop being such a ricest."
π︎ 18
π
︎ Aug 16 2014
Eat your dinner if you want to live
Today I told my 3 year old to eat his food if he wanted to live. As he started to eat his food he asked me if I would let him live.
I said "I'll let you live for the rest of your life."
π︎ 12
π
︎ Jan 25 2015
I told my Girlfriend I'd probably eat a skillet for dinner tonight.
She quickly replied "sounds like that would be pretty hard to eat", having herself a laugh at her own cleverness.
I told her not to worry, I was supposed to have more iron in my diet anyways.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 04 2015
Sitting down to eat dinner
My dad usually has a glass of lemonade mixed with some liquor after working all day. So as we sit down to eat dinner, I ask him what hes got in his lemonade. He says Ice...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jun 01 2014
My daughter was having a pretend dinner party with her teddy bear, when she asked, βDo you want anything to eat, Mr. Bear?β In my best bear voice, I replied...
βNo thanks, Iβm stuffed!"
π︎ 10k
π
︎ Apr 20 2020
Why didn't the teddy bear eat any dinner?
They were already stuffed!
π︎ 104
π
︎ May 22 2020
Dad: "Would you like anything to eat for dinner?" Son: "What are my choices?"
π︎ 79
π
︎ Apr 01 2020
My daughter was trying to feed her baby, but she wasn't having any of it and wouldn't eat any of her dinner...
"Try the Airplane." I said.
"Airplane? What is it?"
"It's a classic spoof film from the 1980's but that's not important right now..."
π︎ 174
π
︎ Sep 07 2017
What do sea monsters eat for dinner?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Nov 10 2016
Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.
