I went to buy some camouflage shorts the other day.
My buddy used his stimulus check to buy some baby chickens
He got his money for nothin’ and his chicks for free
We're going to buy some glasses
I gave some dude the money I'd saved to to buy bushes to line my property. I'd introduce you, but
my hedge fund manager hates reddit.
I go to the store and buy 2 eggs, a loaf of bread, and some milk. The cashier says “you must be single” and I respond with “how did you know?”
She responded, “ because you are ugly!”
If you are feeling lonely during the Covid lockdown, why not buy some shares?
It’s always nice to have a bit of company.
I had to wait in line for 20 minutes just to buy some really cheap toilet paper
I went to buy some bees from a beekeeper, I asked him for 100 bees and he counted out 110. I said "No, no that's too many" He replied...
"Dont worry, those are freebees"
I’ve been setting aside money to buy some boxwood shrubs.
I think im gonna need to buy some adderall for my camera
Because its having trouble focusing
I buy yogurt to the point where some people call it hoarding
But I know it’s just cultured behaviour
I went to buy some fruit today but the store was mobbed with protesters.
I gave my partner some money and told her to go buy coffee
I wanted to drive to the shop to buy some guacamole
So I wanted to buy some flowers
But I couldn’t because the prices rose
I went to the bee keepers to buy some bees. All the bees had price tags on them except one.
My professor makes all the students buy his book at the beginning of the term to make some profit.
My English grammar teacher was having some marriage problems and it was really getting to him, so the whole class joined in to buy him a gift
After we bought him a simple present, he was past tense
I’ve decided that with my stimulus check I’m going to buy a hat, then a shirt, and lastly some pants.
Top down economic stimulation.
Her: Honey, should we buy some vegetables for tonight?
Be sure to buy some Pork Sausage to eat on Sunday
That's the best way to celebrate Ground Hog Day.
Went to buy some pencils from the local stationery shop ...
Only to discover it had moved!
I was kicked out of the Police HQ tour when I asked to buy some merchandise
I just wanted some swat stickers
When I went to buy comfy shoes, I heard the fitter mimic me as he went to retrieve them, "I need some comfy shoes. Wah wah!"
The shoes he brought were indeed comfy. But I can't get over the fact that I was moc-ed.
Lemme go buy some lute boxes
Me- Are you going to buy some land? Gf's dad: "No, no.. A lot."
Me- YOU'RE GOING TO BUY A LOT OF LAND??
I crack myself up.
I tried to buy some Polaroid camera film on Amazon but there weren't any images of the products. I asked the seller why that was and he said he didn't want to embarrass his film because it was camera shy.
Apparently camera film is photosensitive
I need some time to decide if I want to buy this pillow.
So I just got my wife with this one... She asked to go to Victoria's Secret to buy some new underwear... She complained that her favorite pairs had holes in them...
I said "of course they have holes in them, how else are you supposed to get your legs through?"
I could feel the eye roll from across the room
I tried to buy some tornado insurance for my campsite, but the company refused.
They said, “If your tents get blown away, you won’t be covered.”
Me: Hey honey, where can I buy some paperclips?
Her: Staples?
Me: No, paper clips.
I was going to buy some t-bones that were really expensive but I went with the safe choice.
The other day when it was so cold, a friend of mine went to buy some long underwear.
The shopkeeper said to him, "How long do you want it?" And my friend said, "Well, from about September to March."
Pssst, hey, wanna buy some math?
https://imgur.com/gallery/VGmx6XW
So I came up with a comic strip about some overweight guy trying to buy some tight pants.
And the publishers told me that " It's a stretch."
I need to buy some gloves.
I don't want to buy them new though, I'll see if i can get some second hand.
Today I wanted to buy some camouflage pants
I decided I'd buy some stocks in the apple juice industry
But I was arrested for having in-cider information
I wanted to buy some hindsight.
But I didn't have $20.20.
I wanted to buy some magnetic clothes...
They looked cool but I don’t think I could pull them off.
I think I’m gonna buy my dog some root beer
She’s been asking for Barq’s all day
Looking to buy some farmland north of Minneapolis/St. Paul in 1996
Dad: "Lot's of corn you guys got on this farm!"
Seller: "We sure do, been in the family business for many years now."
Dad: "Could be a little creepy with all the corn....stalking us!"
Seller: "......"
Dad: "Sorry, just a little corny jokes :D "
We left extremely embarrassed and never bought the land. (edit, formatting)
I went to buy some camouflage pants the other day.
I couldn't find any though.
I went to buy some camouflage shorts yesterday
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day...
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