Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
ποΈ 15k
π
οΈ Jan 29 2021
Why are ambulance drivers called paramedics?
Because that's what they are, a pair-of-medics.
ποΈ 45
π
οΈ May 05 2021
A race car driver holds rodent races,
names first rodent Danica RAT-Rick!
Fans say it was a RAT-tastrophe!
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ May 07 2021
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"
I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"
ποΈ 490
π
οΈ Mar 06 2021
Why do ambulance drivers have a passenger
Because they are a pair of medics
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Apr 23 2021
I've worked really hard and only achieved becoming a taxi driver.
I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.
ποΈ 73
π
οΈ Mar 20 2021
So I'm a truck driver...
Whenever I have to sign for paperwork when picking up a load, occasionally I am asked to sign and date the bills. Whenever I'm asked to sign and date them I say "I can't date these, I'm married!"
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Mar 31 2021
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Apr 05 2021
Whatβd that cab driver say to the guy getting in his car with a cheap hooker?
ποΈ 5
π
οΈ Feb 03 2021
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
ποΈ 97
π
οΈ Jan 23 2021
I was an uber driver for a bunch of pro wrestlers, they were so tired after their show they all just stacked on top of each other in my backseat
I guess I was the pile driver
ποΈ 11
π
οΈ Mar 13 2021
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Feb 19 2021
I just got fired from my job as a taxy driver.
Turns out people don't like it when you go the extra mile for them.
ποΈ 53
π
οΈ Jan 10 2021
Why was the taxi driver fired?
He always goes the extra mile
ποΈ 27
π
οΈ Jan 31 2021
Why was Matthew Mcconaughey a failed nascar driver?
Because heβs alright alright alright
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Mar 01 2021
What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?
ποΈ 15
π
οΈ Jan 17 2021
Why was the taxi driver annoyed?
He was tired of people talking behind his back.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Jan 28 2021
Why was the delivery driver forced to wear glasses?
Because everyone wanted contact-less delivery.
ποΈ 21
π
οΈ Feb 04 2021
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.
"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"
He walked home that day.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Feb 09 2021
What do you call a stoned lowrider driver?
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Feb 08 2021
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
ποΈ 23
π
οΈ Jan 09 2021
Why are janitors the best getaway drivers?
They always make a clean getaway.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Feb 06 2021
Did you hear about the Uber driver that never had a customer?
He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.
ποΈ 22
π
οΈ Jan 22 2021
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
ποΈ 27
π
οΈ Jan 10 2021
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
ποΈ 663
π
οΈ Sep 27 2020
I tried to give the Uber Eats driver another tip for my Vietnamese soup.
ποΈ 3
π
οΈ Jan 25 2021
why did the FedEx driver decide to get into standup comedy as a fallback?
all his friends told him he was really good at delivery
i came up with this myself and im kinda proud ngl
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Dec 08 2020
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
ποΈ 230
π
οΈ Oct 07 2020
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn't come with a driver.
Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it!
ποΈ 117
π
οΈ Oct 15 2020
I give out drivers licenses for snow plows
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Dec 23 2020
What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?
ποΈ 15
π
οΈ Oct 12 2020
I find it strange that reckless drivers...
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Dec 10 2020
Canadian officials warn drivers not to let moose lick their cars...
or they could be charged with a salt.
ποΈ 4
π
οΈ Nov 26 2020
I've recently become a delivery driver
yes, it has it's UPS and downs, but I still love it
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Dec 07 2020
Dear driver of the car behind me.
Honking the horn won't make me text any faster.
ποΈ 9
π
οΈ Nov 26 2020
I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2.
Apparently, it was a pink panzer.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Nov 11 2020
A cop ran into a drunk driver and asks the question βHow high are you?β
The drunk driver responds: βNo, its βHi, how are you?ββ
ποΈ 13
π
οΈ Oct 06 2020
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road
It went off without a hitch
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Nov 04 2020
Why are shapeshifters bad drivers?
Theyre always turning into different people.
ποΈ 10
π
οΈ Oct 14 2020
Iβm a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....βlooks like you have the best jobβ he says, βwhy is that?β I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Aug 06 2020
Drunk driver overturned his van on road carrying snooker equipment.
Police says he is under a-rest and there is cues a mile long.
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Oct 07 2020
Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
ποΈ 2
π
οΈ Sep 07 2020
I guess you could say heβs a...... screw driver
ποΈ 81
π
οΈ Mar 12 2020
I'd be a terrible NASCAR driver
because I'm always right.
ποΈ 41
π
οΈ Jun 09 2020
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!
He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"
So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"
ποΈ 7
π
οΈ Sep 26 2020
The Egyptian government has asked Cairoβs taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm βEm will last a week.
ποΈ 6
π
οΈ Sep 28 2020
My boss said to me, βYouβre the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?β
I said, βIβm not sure; itβs hard to keep track.β
ποΈ 16
π
οΈ Feb 17 2021
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !
Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it
ποΈ 38
π
οΈ Aug 15 2020
Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
ποΈ 8
π
οΈ Jul 24 2020
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