Just spent $300 on hiring a limousine and discovered the fee doesn't include a driver.
Can't believe I've spent all that money and have nothing to chauffer it.
Why are ambulance drivers called paramedics?
Because that's what they are, a pair-of-medics.
A race car driver holds rodent races,
names first rodent Danica RAT-Rick!
Fans say it was a RAT-tastrophe!
My boss said to me "You're the worst train driver ever! How many have you derailed this year?!"
I said "I don't know... it's hard to keep track"
Why do ambulance drivers have a passenger
Because they are a pair of medics
I've worked really hard and only achieved becoming a taxi driver.
I can't believe that's all I have to chauffeur it.
So I'm a truck driver...
Whenever I have to sign for paperwork when picking up a load, occasionally I am asked to sign and date the bills. Whenever I'm asked to sign and date them I say "I can't date these, I'm married!"
What do you call a truck driver who knows a lot about the truck but can't read or write fluently?
What’d that cab driver say to the guy getting in his car with a cheap hooker?
Why did the truck driver finally stop farting?
I was an uber driver for a bunch of pro wrestlers, they were so tired after their show they all just stacked on top of each other in my backseat
I guess I was the pile driver
Road Signs Across The Country Are Warning Drivers Of Road Conditions
I just got fired from my job as a taxy driver.
Turns out people don't like it when you go the extra mile for them.
Why was the taxi driver fired?
He always goes the extra mile
Why was Matthew Mcconaughey a failed nascar driver?
Because he’s alright alright alright
What's the first thing the taxi driver said to the wolf?
Why was the taxi driver annoyed?
He was tired of people talking behind his back.
Why was the delivery driver forced to wear glasses?
Because everyone wanted contact-less delivery.
My son's school bus driver told him to quickly find a seat.
"There's one!" he yelled. "Look, there's another one right there! And another over there!"
He walked home that day.
What do you call a stoned lowrider driver?
Cement truck driver stole my identity and nobody would believe me
But then I found some concrete evidence
Why are janitors the best getaway drivers?
They always make a clean getaway.
Did you hear about the Uber driver that never had a customer?
He worked 3 weeks and nothing to chauffeur it.
Last night, taking a walk on the beach... Came across a police car stuck in the sand about 3 feet from the water...I asked the driver what happened...
He said the police were expecting a crime wave
I invented a car that moves only when the driver is silent....
It goes without saying...
I tried to give the Uber Eats driver another tip for my Vietnamese soup.
why did the FedEx driver decide to get into standup comedy as a fallback?
all his friends told him he was really good at delivery
i came up with this myself and im kinda proud ngl
Why do racecar drivers put their seats all the way back?
They need plenty of
KNEEEEEEEEEEEEEROOOOOOOOOOOOOOM
Edit: Thanks for the silver, friends! You sure know how to make a feller feel stellar
My friend just hired a limo for $1000 but it didn't come with a driver.
Imagine spending all that money with nothing to chauffeur it!
I give out drivers licenses for snow plows
What do Egyptian bus drivers buy when they crash?
I find it strange that reckless drivers...
Canadian officials warn drivers not to let moose lick their cars...
or they could be charged with a salt.
I've recently become a delivery driver
yes, it has it's UPS and downs, but I still love it
Dear driver of the car behind me.
Honking the horn won't make me text any faster.
I never knew that Peter Sellers was a tank driver for Germany during WW2.
Apparently, it was a pink panzer.
A cop ran into a drunk driver and asks the question “How high are you?”
The drunk driver responds: “No, its ‘Hi, how are you?’”
Without anything to secure it, and unbeknownst to the driver, the trailer careened off the side of the road
It went off without a hitch
Why are shapeshifters bad drivers?
Theyre always turning into different people.
I’m a delivery driver that delivers bread products, whilst on my round today a gentleman dropped this on me.....”looks like you have the best job” he says, “why is that?” I ask, because you must be loaded with dough!!!
Drunk driver overturned his van on road carrying snooker equipment.
Police says he is under a-rest and there is cues a mile long.
Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
I guess you could say he’s a...... screw driver
I'd be a terrible NASCAR driver
because I'm always right.
I was backing out of the parking lot earlier when I backed into a car! The driver was only 3 feet tall....!
He got out of the car and started waving his hands above his head! He kept yelling "I'm not Happy, I'm not Happy!"
So, I got out and yelled back, "Well, which one are you!?"
The Egyptian government has asked Cairo’s taxi drivers to drive around and sound their horns in the hope that familiar sounds will help calm the residents following the pandemic.
Operation Toot And Calm ‘Em will last a week.
My boss said to me, “You’re the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?”
I said, “I’m not sure; it’s hard to keep track.”
My friend just hired a limo for a $1000 but it didn't come with a driver !
Imagine spending all that money and having nothing to chauffeur it
Garbage collectors are rubbish drivers!
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